“I’ve had a tumultuous few weeks. But before that, things were pretty smooth.” I choked out a laugh to soften my throat at my blatant lie. “How have the last thirty years treated you? I trust you’ve recovered?”
A shadow darkened his eyes. Either because I’d brought up the injury that ruined his football career or the memory of the time we’d been together. I didn’t care either way. I hadn’t intended it to be such a loaded question.
Not really. Not when the questions I wanted to ask were far deeper and painful. But I couldn’t say any of that out loud. Not with Lauren here or in a public setting.
We’d kept our relationship quiet, enjoying each other and hiding away from the world that, inevitably, was going to bring us back to reality.Lauren had been with Ethan, and they’d all been friends. I was on the outskirts.
Until the injury. Ethan failed to block a tackle, Ray was injured, and their friendship ruptured.
Ray, in his pain, had turned to me. I, in my pain over my mother’s sudden death, had needed him. I’d kept my time with Ethan a secret, not that I needed to. We weren’t dating.
All of that was thirty-years ago. Surely, he was over it?
I was.
I rubbed at my throat as Lauren tried to smooth the tension at the table. So now even thinking a lie affected my body? Dude.
“It still gives me trouble, believe it or not.” Ray smiled across the table at Lauren in a way that totally didn’t make me see red. “My physical therapist has been working with me since I came back. She’s got great hands.”
Lauren flinched on my behalf at the unfortunate wording. Ray’s thick brows furrowed. Even with my eyes fixed on my iced tea, I caught the subtle shake of her head. Were they a thing? She’d said she preferred to be alone. Maybe she’d lied to protect my feelings.
“Ray owns Lone Wolf Sentries,” Lauren said to break the silence. “He started it, what, fifteen years ago?”
“Closer to twenty,” Ray said. “Almost as soon as I returned.”
My blood chilled. It had to be a coincidence. Twenty years ago was around the time Agatha’s ward was supposed to wear off. It was whenIwas supposed to come home.
My heart would not let me believe he came back for me. No matter how badly I wanted to.
“I envy both of you for your travels. I never left.” Lauren propped her chin on her hands. “I mean, I went to New Orleans for college with Ethan—sorry, Ray—but as soon as we split up I was right back here. I wouldn’t mind seeing more of the world.”
There was something so likable about this version of Lauren that I couldn’t help but smile with her. She meant it, and she was truly not saying anything in a way that indicated she was trying to dredge up the past. My gut believed her—that she had changed after high school, had realized what she’d been like, and had done some growing up. I wondered how much of that had to do with her split from Ethan.
But why had she apologized to Ray after mentioning Ethan? Werethey still on the outs? I didn’t remember much about the game that caused his injury. Ethan had missed a tackle, but that could happen to anyone. Was there something more to it?
“There’s still time for travel and shenanigans,” Ray told Lauren.
“Absolutely,” I said. I wanted to be part of the conversation, to stop the never-ending stream of chatter my brain was throwing at me. “The world isn’t going anywhere.”
The rest of the conversation flowed by with a detached sense of three people catching up on thirty years of mayhem. I did get out of them that Ray had never married and Ethan was clearly a sore topic of conversation.
But little more. After fifteen minutes that felt like fifteen years, the combined adrenaline of my stupid decision to exercise and bumping into my ex wore off. Bone-tired and soul-weary, I peeled myself off the seat.
“Well, it was good to see you both, but I need to get prepared for the week.” Ray rose with me, taking my hand in his. I wanted to yank it away; I wanted to shrink from the heat of his touch. Instead, I stayed perfectly still.
“It was so good to see you again, Simone. You look fantastic.” Heat transferred from his hands to mine, burning me to my core. His thumb stroked my fingers, lingering in place when I pulled my hand away.
“You, too.” I tore my gaze from his to smile at Lauren. “It’s good to see both of you.”
It took all that I had not to scurry out the door. I might have run home had my body chosen that moment to remind me I was pushing fifty.
My hips throbbed. My knees ached. Some weird, shooting pain ran the length of my foot, from big toe to thigh.
But dammit, I would not hobble home. Unshed tears threatened me, building pressure so intense I bit my lip to keep them at bay. I was not going to collapse in Illusion Square. I just couldn’t.
Ray’s eyes were on me. I didn’t have to turn to know that. His stare was fire on the back of my neck.
I stopped at the Mighty Oak, lowering myself to the concrete bench protecting its trunk. I ran my fingers in the crisp, cool water surrounding it, fixing my eyes on the compass rose. The compass rosemade of the same concrete as the bench, with dust like glitter that shimmered when light filtered through the oak’s branches.
