It had only been a few days. But I was screwing this up. Majorly. And for the first time, I realized that the consequences of my failure didn’t just affect me and Agatha. The other division heads had something at stake.
Frustration cut through my haze. If they had something to lose, why not help me? Why mess with me and test me instead of showing mecompassion and guiding me? Aside from Brianne, no one was reaching out. I had no details and no idea where to get them.
Maybe they were just busy. Maybe, despite never seeing anyone come in or go out, business was better than I realized. I’d never asked Ethan for financials, nor had he offered them. Then again, I hadn’t asked.
I’d made the decision to focus on the therapy division. The job I was supposed to know how to do.
Part of me wanted to stomp behind that curtain and bang on every door until I found Lydia. Then I’d give her a piece of my mind, consequences be damned. I’d just sat there while she accused me of things I hadn’t even done. I deserved to defend myself.
But disturbing every client at the spa didn’t make good business sense. And, as much as I was loath to admit it, Lydia was right. At least partly. I had hexed Jeff, even if it was unintentional. Gumbo warned me to be careful about my words. I’d done the opposite.
But Doug? All I wanted was to help him. I’d definitely never played a trick on him, intentional or otherwise.
Had I?
I rose with a sigh, taking my glass of water and leaving it right next to Lydia’s computer just for spite. I stuck my tongue out at the curtain and returned to my office.
And sat. All afternoon. While session after session either called and canceled or didn’t bother to show.
By the end of day two, I’d seen exactly one patient, gotten into a fight with a colleague, and learned the town was already turning against me based on something I didn’t even know I’d done.
And I had no idea what to do about any of it.
Panic crept into my veins, turning my blood to ice. My heartbeat quickened until my pulse pounded along my neck. I tried to take calming breaths, but with each inhale, my situation clamped harder onto my chest. I dug tingling fingers into my palms and squeezed my eyes shut.
The urge to vomit surged through me. I’d never make it to a restroom. I yanked the rusted copper trash can at my feet and hauled it on my lap, leaning over it as my body shuddered and heaved.
Another panic attack. There was no way I would be able to talk myself out of this one. I needed help.
“Gumbo.”
The heavy vibration of Gumbo’s purrs rumbled all the way up to my stomach. He rubbed against me, pushing his head into my fisted hands until they relaxed. He whispered to me, and I clung to his fur until my heartbeat slowed and my breath was deep.
When I opened my eyes, I was no longer in my office. And I wasn’t alone.
CHAPTER 17
“It’s okay.” Brianne made a shushing sound in a soothing tone while she rubbed my back. “You aren’t alone, Simone. It’s going to be okay.”
“Is it?” I was still heaving, my body shaking with sobs. The trash pail was gone, and we were sitting on the red couch in my living room. Or what was currently my living room. It wouldn’t be in thirty days. Because I was a complete failure and was going to screw up and end up homeless, divorced, and?—
“Stop.” Brianne’s tone no longer consoled me. It was sharp and harsh and stopped my runaway thoughts in their tracks. “I don’t know what you’re thinking but stop it right now.”
“And whatever it is, don’t say it out loud.” Gumbo weaved his way through my feet. “No more careless use of words, Simone.”
On a rational level, I knew they were right. But my emotions still held control. It took time. Water. Breath. Support.
Eventually, the world came back into focus around me.
“How’d I get here?” Across from us, the wooden rocker creaked as it swayed. A crocheted blanket in bold blue was draped across the seat, as if covering someone’s lap. But the chair appeared empty.
“House brought you to me.” Gumbo hopped between Brianne and me and settled on the couch. “We didn’t want to risk anyone seeing you in the lobby.”
“I’ve never seen anyone in the lobby.” I flouncedbackward to sink into the cushions and whine. “I haven’t seen a single customer since I got here.”
“That doesn’t mean they aren’t there, Sweets,” Brianne said.
My breath caught in my throat. Sweets had been the term of affection my mother used for me. Hearing Brianne use it created a swirl of new emotions. I missed having guidance and a strong, steady presence in my life. I missed someone being casually affectionate with me because I mattered to them.
