Her gut clenched at the memory. She felt she’d come a long way in not needing their validation and support, but that didn’t mean the lack of it didn’t suck.
Juanita sighed. “I’ve never understood how two people can be such good parents to Bill and our family and such lousy parents to you.”
“They treat you like a typical black sheep, but you don’t have any of the benefits of being a black sheep,” Bill agreed.
She laughed. “I’m the most boring black sheep out there. I never dyed my hair, I never blasted heavy metal, and I went off to support myself with a good career. I suck at being a black sheep.”
Jonas took her hand, knowing that just because she could joke about it, didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
“After Sara was born, Dad and I were having dinner together, just the two of us. I don’t remember where everyone else was. Anyway, he’d had a couple of beers, and was sipping on a whiskey so he was a little more talkative than normal. He said that he and Mom had always known they’d have a son, and that he’d be powerful.” He made rabbit ears with his fingers on the last word. “And they were totally surprised when you came along. It’s like they never quite believed they were supposed to have a second child.”
“That sort of makes sense,” she agreed.
“It’s awful,” Jonas said.
“They weren’t terrible to me,” she pointed out. “They just weren’t great. Or even particularly good.”
“Which was made worse by the fact that they were great with me,” Bill added.
“Yeah.”
“I hated that you left, but I was proud of you for doing it, and for doing it so well,” Bill said.
“Aww, I know it. You were good about letting me know. And making me the cool auntie, letting me have that even though I don’t see the kids that often.”
“They love the shit out of you,” he said.
She took a deep breath, reminding herself that she had so many amazing people in her world, she didn’t particularly need those two who’d given her life.
“Anyway, I might go talk to them, but I’m not feeling particularly inclined to bail them out.”
“You better not,” Bill growled. “They have not earned that from you. They still work, they can still save for retirement. We’ll see how things are when it gets closer to that scenario.”
She just raised her eyebrows at him but didn’t argue.
“How is your pack doing? It must be hard having a member of your hierarchy fail her people so badly.”
“It’s been tough,” Juanita said. “People are confused and hurt. The loss of trust is really hard. We’ve had pack members here to dinner most every night so they can talk and vent and get reassurance. They need to spend time with us, confirm their trust in us.”
“To be honest, that’s what gave me the strength to leave all those years ago. Not trusting Brenda, and not trusting that I could share those feelings with Mom and Dad. That’s when I realized staying here was sort of pointless. But I am sorry that I didn’t speak up about Brenda.”
“Oh no, don’t take that on yourself. You didn’t have enough information, you were just out of college, and besides, she wasn’t doing enough for anyone to really call her on it.” Her brother gave her his best stern expression.
“No, but it might have been enough to question her, keep an eye on her.” She shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“Bill’s right, none of that is on you, and nobody thinks otherwise,” Juanita said.
A weight she hadn’t realized she’d been holding on to lifted. “Okay.”
“Here’s an idea. You tell me if you’re comfortable with it,” Juanita said. “We take you guys out to a nice dinner, celebrate your finding each other and the pregnancy. We ask our usual babysitters, your mom and dad, to come over while we’re out. When we get back from dinner, if you feel up to sitting with them, we can do that. Together. And if you don’t, Bill and I see them off with thanks, as usual.”
She thought about it. Thought about telling her parents that she and Jonas were having their grandchild, giving them a chance to be better. Was it worth it, to open herself up to that? Maybe.
“Okay. That’s a good plan.”
They went to a wonderful mom-and-pop restaurant with terrible lighting, rustic tables and fantastic steaks. She enjoyed watching her mate get to know her brother and sister-in-law. Jonas was clearly pleased to see that Bill and Juanita were good to her, after the fiasco of meeting her parents.
When they got back to the house, they gathered in the living room. Bill told their parents about the meal, small talk to make things easier. When he was finished, her dad turned to her.
