“Wine is excellent. That wasn’t excellent.”
“Okay. What was it.”
“Phenomenal. Stupendous. Outrageously fucking hot.”
She laughed. “Yes, all of those things. Are you sure you weren’t an English teacher?”
His eyes went sad as he traced a pattern of circles on her arm but didn’t say anything for a minute.
“My brother was going to be an English teacher. He died before he got that far.”
“I’m sorry. That must have been very hard for you and your family.”
“He was the only family I had left. Turned out to be better that way.”
“I guess that’s one way of looking at it. I think maybe that’s part of why they chose you. Hillary, the other wolf who survived, she didn’t have any family left either.”
His chest froze beneath her for a moment before he resumed breathing. “It’s my fault she got hurt. Raped. Turned.”
She looked up at him, didn’t like the bleak guilt she saw on his face. She propped herself up on his chest so that he couldn’t look away from her, thought about how she wanted to say what needed to be said. His eyes grew wary as he waited.
“I guess so. I’m still working out what Hillary’s punishment should be.”
His eyes went hard. “Punishment.”
“Yes, for not reporting what had happened.”
He growled. “Care to explain that?”
“Well, when we went to Arizona, we found a little girl who’d been kidnapped. We think they were holding her until she was old enough to try and turn. Hillary told me it was her fault that Alexis had been taken and her parents killed. If she’d reported the Cages to the police in the four years she’d been free, Alexis wouldn’t have been hurt.”
“You would blame her for that?” There was real anger in his voice, and his hand on her arm had turned from a caress to a controlled grip.
“No. Would you?”
“Fuck no!”
“Then why would you blame yourself for the same thing?”
He blinked at her. His body, which had tightened, relaxed under her.
“It’s not the same.”
“Why not?”
“Because I was first.”
“How does that change anything?”
“Because if I had stopped them, neither of the girls would have been taken.”
“I refer you to your anger a minute ago. You can’t have it both ways.” She studied him. Cocked her head. “I know what this is. You’re sexist.”
He stared at her some more, frowning.
Laughing, she nodded. “That’s totally what this is. You think because you’re a guy, you should have handled it differently than she did.” She cupped his cheek with the hand that wasn’t propping her up on his chest. “Adam, you did the best you could under extraordinary circumstances. No one blames you for how you handled it. I have the duty of doling out blame, responsibility and punishment here. That is officially my job. I’m telling you there is no blame on you.”
He didn’t say anything so she knelt up, straddled him. “You should go visit them. They’re in Northern Idaho. See for yourself that they’re both doing well now, and neither of them holds you responsible, any more than Alexis blames Hillary.”
