“She—” Ben idly scratched the back of his neck, apparently realising just in time that this might not be the best topic of conversation.
Nikolas caught him around the neck and ruffled his newly shorn, dark hair again.“Don’t worry.I’m not as upset as I was earlier when I arrived home.In fact, when Kate and I have had our conversation, I might even thank her.She precipitatedthis.In a way.”
“Why do I get the impression when you say you’re going to talk to her that isn’t going to actually involve words?”
“I’ve no idea.You are very strange sometimes, Benjamin.I’m head of a small charity.What else could I possibly mean?”
* * *
Chapter Eighteen
Quick hard sex on floors was one thing.Deliberately undressing with another man and sliding naked between his sheets was something else.Even Nikolas was finding it odd, because although it was something they’d done without thought, now he was hyperaware, ultra-conscious of what Ben must be thinking, and consequently found himself stiff and ill at ease too.He then had something of a brainwave and returned to the kitchen, coming back with a bottle of ice-cold vodka and two glasses.Ben sat up in the bed and frowned.
“We drink vodka together in bed?”
“All the time.I’m Russian, Ben.We always drink vodka.”
“You’re Russian?You told me you were Danish.Do I speak Russian as well?”
Nikolas told him he was an idiot in Russian, and Ben grumbled, “I understood that.”
Nikolas grinned.“That’s because I say it to you a lot.”He filled both—large—glasses to the rim and handed one to Ben.The first taste was beyond describing.It slipped down as easily and with the same sense of coming home as pushing into Ben had earlier.
Ben was sniffing it suspiciously.“Are you sure I like this?”
“Absolutely.Drink up.”He lit another cigarette.They were sitting cross-legged, the bedding tangled around them, and now there was hardly any embarrassment at all.
“What did you do in London?Was it connected to me and this?”Ben tapped on his head.
“In a way.We’re still chasing up loose ends.Nothing for you to worry about.What are you smiling at?”
“Nothing.You look…happy.Do you always look like that after sex?”
Nikolas blew smoke at him.“I don’t know.I’ll have to ask you when you’re back.”
“Was this how it was the first time?I mean, how did we…?You must have…bloody hell, I can’t evenimaginewhat you did to make me…”
“On the contrary, Mr Rider.Youseducedmeone weekend in my own house.I was a happily married man and completely taken unawares.”
“Really?Huh.Philipa did say you’d been very happy together.”
“We were.It was the perfect marriage.”
“But Iseducedyou?So, what…?I was your first man?”
“Most definitely you were.Goodness.You had to…teach me.”Nikolas topped them up again and blew some more smoke at Ben, watching the green eyes with their ridiculous long lashes in a whole new light.He was reflecting he’d started taking Ben Rider-Mikkelsen too much for granted.Seeing him here, like this, raw, before…well, before Ben had methim, he supposed, before he’d shaped and moulded Ben into what he wanted him to be…was something of a revelation for Nikolas.Ben Rider-Mikkelsen didn’t eat with his mouth full, spit crumbs all over him and fish teabags out with his fingers.Actually, he still did that, but not with Nikolas’s tea.Ben Rider-Mikkelsen didn’t casually take someone else—a woman—to bed for the afternoon.Although it was fascinating meeting this unformed Ben Rider again—in the flesh, so to speak— he knew which Ben he preferred, which one he wanted back.
But speaking of flesh…Nikolas removed Ben’s glass from his hand and pushed him back onto the bed.He lay above him, braced on one arm, the other hand reacquainting itself with Ben’s familiar features.Ben held his gaze, which was clearly difficult, for it was piercing and intent, fuelled on vodka and the smell of sex.Nikolas put a hand around Ben’s throat.“I think it’s time I jogged some of those memories back for you.”
* * *
Ben had always been physical.Some of his earliest memories were of running wild on the moors, which stretched bleak and dangerous behind his house in Yorkshire.He’d joined the army, and his love of the extreme had been given a whole new definition.But all that time, during all that excess, all the agony, he’d always felt something was missing, some peak of ecstasy was just out of reach.He’d been right.Beyond pain, there was intense pleasure, and this strange new boss of his took him there that night.
* * *
Nikolas showed Ben the direct and visceral link between pain and sexual fulfilment for men, showed them what superb physique could reward you with.What trust could lead you to explore.Nikolas, of course, had taken Ben on this journey many times, so for him it was not so overwhelming, so shocking.But he’d never done it all at once to a version of Ben who hadn’t worked up to it suggestion by suggestion, experiment by experiment.Ben’s body was still the same, and Nikolas knew it better than this half-Ben did himself.Nikolas also knew Ben’s limits, and he stayed well away from them.There was a lot he knew how to do within those confines, though.
* * *
