Nikolas was pained to admit, “Well, for one thing, this strikes close to home for you, no?I don’t think you’ll be able to separate the role you’re playing with your own circumstances.”
“Me?I won’t be able to?What about you?”
“Ack.I’m thinking of you, Ben.You’ll see everything as relating to you personally.Which won’t be the case.”
Ben thought about this for a while.“What you mean is you’re going to find this difficult and you’re going to take it out on me.”
“There.See?That’sexactlywhat I mean.You’ll not be able to separate our roles from our real life and will misinterpret everything I say to suit your own agenda—the one where you’re badly treated and some kind of mistrodden underdog.”
“That’s not a real word.”
“Of course it is.Who actually had to learn his English, Benjamin?Not you.So, as I was saying, you’ll take what I claim in my role asNigelto bemesaying it.As me.And you won’t like it.Do you see what I’m saying?”
“No!”
Nikolas sighed.“Pull over at the next service station.Please, obviously—God forbid I should forget to say please these days.”
Ben pulled over as requested and parked.He turned with a questioning frown to Nikolas.
Nikolas stared ahead then began in something of a rush, “We are playing men who are in relationship crisis.Nigel is resentful of Justin.He wants…things Justin isn’t prepared to give him.He wants to adopt children, which implies Justin isn’t enough for him, no?That some completeness in his life is missing?”He twisted around to face Ben and put a hand on his thigh.This was so unexpected and so uncharacteristic Ben automatically covered the hand with his, as if some kind of bad news was about to be presented that needed that level of physical support.Nikolas studied their joined hands.“I need you to know, that’s all.”
Ben waited.When nothing more was forthcoming, he frowned.“And?What?”
Nikolas grimaced.“Do I need to say it?”
“Yes?”
He looked up at the unfamiliar blue eyes.“It’s not me!Saying these things.Damn.”He stared out of his side window then back at Ben.“I don’t want anything between us different to how it is now!You are absolutely perfect just as you are, and whatever you hear me say won’t be the truth about us!Jesus, Benjamin, do I really need to say this?”He suddenly rummaged in his pocket.“By the way, I’ve bought you this.”
Apparently distracted by the wholly uncharacteristic declaration, Ben could only point out, “I have a watch.You bought me this one, too.”
Nikolas nodded, undoing Ben’s expensive, beautiful watch, keeping him distracted.“I know, and this is only a cheap one, but it’s more in keeping with Justin, no?”He fastened the new one on.It was very big and chunky.Ben shrugged, but Nikolas could see he was pleased with it.Ben liked anything he bought him.
Good.
He’d wear it then.
Perfection had to be protected.
* * *
Chapter Seven
The address they’d been given took them to the eastern borders of the county and to a country house set in a wooded valley overshadowed by a steep hill.The house had an ugly, square Victorian façade, which screamed industrial money over landed taste, but as neither had known what to expect from this course, and had been vaguely picturing living inteepeesor yurts to get back to nature and discover their inner selves with tambourines, they were both glad to see solid brick and a promise of some comfort.They were a florist and a chef, after all.
Ben opened the tailgate and prepared to carry their bags in.Nikolas stopped him, held out his hand and took his own bag.Ben’s brows rose.He seemed surprised Nikolas was willing to go that far to get into a role.Nikolas refused to acknowledge anything funny in the situation and made his way to the front door.
There was a reception desk, just as would be found in any normal hotel, and their names—Nigel and Justin—on laminated badges for them to wear.There were fourteen other badges still awaiting collection, and a quick glance at the book as he registered, to see how many had already signed in, told Nikolas there would be twenty men on the course in total.
They were handed two keys and directed to separate rooms.This didn’t bother them unduly as Nikolas knew Ben would find his room and sleep there.It was with some genuine annoyance therefore they discovered the rooms were single and the beds standard English sized: two-foot-four inches wide.Nikolas doubted he’d be able to fit in one on his own, let alone with Ben Rider-Mikkelsen.
Whatever…He hadn’t had to sleep on the floor for a very long time, but needs must as the devil—
“What’s that?”
Nikolas and the man showing them their rooms turned to look at the unit Ben was pointing to high up on one wall.
The man intoned neutrally, “CCTV.All the rooms are monitored.It will all be explained at the orientation.Please assemble in reception at two o’clock.”
