Ben gently ruffled Miles’s hair and the moment passed.
* * *
Later that evening, Aleksey was smoking on the foredeck, leaning on the rail, watching the reflection of stars in the water, when he heard someone coming to join him. Assuming it was Ben, he grinned and twisted his head around to blow smoke over him, when he realised it was Miles. He offered him the pack instead. ‘Want one?’
Miles smiled wanly. ‘I do hope for your sake Ben never hears you trying to get me into that horrible and extremely unhealthy habit.’
‘Ack, I’m not afraid of Benjamin Rider-Mikkelsen. So, how has your first day gone?’
‘Very well indeed. I like Mark a lot.’
‘That seems to run in the family.’
Miles was staring out at the ocean, his bag still clutched in his arms. After observing him out of the corner of his eye for a while, he offered softly,
‘It will get better. It’s not that the source of the pain ever goes away, it’s that we get accustomed to the hurt, hardened to its effects upon us.’
‘Like explorers with frostbite.’
‘Exactly like explorers with frostbite.’
‘I don’t think Mr Barthrop even knew who Alfred Wegener was. I think he’s a bit silly.’
‘Good for you.’
‘I don’t want to be like him when I grow up.’
‘You are nothing like him. Remember, besides all my other names, I am now Guardian ofGenius.’
‘I don’t feel very clever.’
‘No. Death undermines the living, Miles. It hollows us out. It pulls our foundations from under our feet—destroys our belief in ourselves. When my mother died, I lost my sense of myself entirely. I lost my fearless spirit for a while, and in that short time of being lost, someone else found me and took me to a very dark place. I got my spirit back, but it was not a bright spark anymore—it was dark light. You have always coped with life through careful thought and study, and yet for all your fearsome intelligence, you are scared that you don’t really know anything: why your grandmother died, where she’s gone, and whether you will ever see her again. That is why you are doubting yourself—just as I did in a different way. Does that make sense?’ It seemed to him there was no point in beating around the bush with Miles. He had suspected since Enid’s death that these were the unknowable questions that the boy, who liked to know everything, was torturing himself with.
‘Ben says Granny’s in heaven.’
‘Yes. I know he does. He told me that too.’
‘But you don’t think so.’
Aleksey took his time lighting another cigarette. ‘I haven’t told you what I found on Light Island, have I?’
Miles glanced over quickly. ‘The angels?’
Aleksey smiled. ‘Well, the angels came because of what was already there.’
‘I think I prefer your stories of frostbite and amputations.’
‘Remember, demotions can occur swiftly and without warning. Regardless of whether you believe the angels of Light Island were actually divine or just old monks who could spin a good story, they came to the island because of what was there. It held a stone which a living God had walked upon—had summoned during a storm from the deep waters around the Cornish coast to give Him and his companions safe passage to land. He was your age exactly, and becauseHebelieved, when He spread his arms and summoned the seabed to rise,itbelieved and so it rose. His divine spirit imbued each stone with His power, and so the angels came to Light Island to find it—they were drawn there, like moths to a flame. What?’ He realised Miles had gone pale and was clutching his bag even tighter, thinking deeply. ‘It is just a story, Miles. But I choose to believe it might be true, and as I have always made my own destiny in life, bending this universe until it suits me, can I not, therefore, make that true also by merely believing in it? Ask Radulf if you don’t believeme.’
Miles shook his head a little. ‘A stone. A Jesus stone?’
‘Yes, on the little island in Clearwater Pond. It was a relic well known throughout Scilly for its healing properties.’ He frowned, studying the burning tip of his cigarette, thinking. Once more, he had the infuriating sensation of arriving in a room and not knowing what it was he wanted there. Something in this conversation with Miles had caught his subconscious attention, but, yet again, it was as fleeting a thought as a puff of smoke from his cigarette dissipating in the night air of Scilly.
They both turned at the same time when they heard Ben coming up behind them. Miles, still appearing deep in some personal calculation, murmured, ‘I think I’ll go to bed. I have a lot to think about.’
They watched him making his way along the deck on his own. Aleksey sighed, suspecting he’d probably just made things a great deal worse. If you believed in nothing you could believe in anything. He had his entire belief system standing next to him now, and Benjamin Rider-Mikkelsen wasn’t pseudo anything—never had been. He was the real deal, and he was his. He hooked him a little closer with his waistband, and Ben gave him a swift once over. ‘Okay?’
Aleksey wobbled his hand. ‘Define okay.’ They turned at the same time to watch the stars skipping like tiny fireflies in their reflected glory in the deep, dark waters of Scilly, and wherever Thoroughly Good Enid was that night, Aleksey hoped that she rested content, knowing her ten pounds had been well invested.
