‘Well, possibly less civilian than that.’
‘Where?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. Here?’
Ben stopped the car. They were by the old stone pillars at the beginning of their drive. ‘Here?’
‘Hmm. What do you think?’
Ben leaned back in the driver’s seat, his palm swirling around the gear knob. It was distracting and Aleksey swallowed lightly as he waited for the inevitable explosion:how long have you been planning this; why didn’t you tell me; this has never really been my house, has it; nothing ever really changes between us; does Squeezy know; you conspire with him against me.There were probably variations on this theme, but he was focusing more on the rubbing.
‘It could go up and over and down, and then have a big gate that lifts up like the ladder.’
‘Huh?’ He tore his eyes away and crossed his legs. ‘What?’
Ben illustrated his idea, waving his hand. ‘An arched gateway so anyone coming up has to wait for it to be lifted, and then they enter a covered area. With firing points above them.’
It always took a while to untangle some of Ben’s random descriptions, but he got it eventually. It was actually such a good idea that Aleksey clenched his jaw and tapped his nails on his armrest for a moment. ‘A portcullis. You mean a portcullis?’
‘Dunno.’
More tapping. He waved imperiously down the lane and Ben started up again. He glanced across. Ben was straight-faced and concentrating on the curve in the drive.
Aleksey wasn’t too sure whether he was having the piss taken out of him or not. Just because he hadn’t mentioned the plan to Ben, didn’t mean Ben didn’t actually know about it. It was entirely possible either Riff Raff, Hannibal or Psycho (who had all enthusiastically added to his plans for The Keep, so that it now apparently contained a spa with steam room and sauna, as well as a fully equipped gym), had already talked this over with Ben many times. The concept of a medieval gatehouse with portcullis and arrow slits, possibly even a drawbridge, seemed more a sly comment on his paranoia than something Ben would actually want at the entrance to his house.
He glanced over once more and Ben said cheerfully, indicating to Tim’s Merc, ‘Good, they’re here already. Save me a trip.’
Squeezy came out of the house to meet them, the dogs going mad with unnecessary glee, which turned into shocked sniffs of disapproval when they actually smelled the two figures emerging from the car.
Aleksey wanted to part Ben from his friend before any discussion of events on the island could occur, so left him to take the bags in and catch up with the professor, beckoning to the moron to follow him, claiming the dogs needed a walk.
He headed towards the old chapel in the woods.
When they emerged into the glade, Aleksey lifted Radulf over the wall, then followed him and perched on the lichen-covered stone, facing the tor in the distance, watching the animals mooching around sniffing sheep dung. Squeezy vaulted the obstacle and produced a tennis ball from his pocket, which he proceeded to launch into the bracken for PB. ‘What’s up? You had another argument with pretty boy? You didn’t know washing machines been invented? Been a world-wide shortage of soap? I’m all of a quiver for your words of fucking wisdom.’
‘You know I dislike you intensely, yes?’
‘Feeling’s mutual, boss.’
‘I only keep you around because, for some bizarre reason known only to himself, Ben values you.’
‘Yup. I only fucking stay cus I’m curious what shit you’re going to pull next.’ He made a face as he extracted a slimy offering from the dog’s mouth and threw it again.
‘Good, so we understand each other.’
Squeezy glanced around at him. ‘You about to propose or something? Always up for that threesome, Crusoe, any time, any place.’
‘No, I’m not that desperate.’ He smirked. ‘I have…pretty boy.’
Squeezy made a scoffing sound. ‘For now, matey, for now. One misstep, one fucking plan too many, and he’ll be fair game for whoever picks up the pieces of your broken body. You could watch from whatever afterlife you go to. If they give smoke breaks in hell.’
‘I’m told they do, but only non-smokers go there anyway.’ He fished out his cigarettes and lit one with great pleasure.
Squeezy chuckled. ‘Yeah, my one missed vice. I should have started young, like you, got a nice little habit going. That’d annoy the professor. He don’t like me breathing in his new house let alone fucking smoking.’
‘Speaking of you being young.’
Squeezy stiffened slightly, PB’s returned offering ignored.
