Aleksey closed his eyes and gripped Ben’s waist, focusing on his imminent climax. He bit lightly into the web of Ben’s stretched hand, as if gagging himself, needing this to prevent his desire to obey. He felt Ben’s forehead on his and opened his eyes to Ben’s an inch away. Ben eased his hand free and his lips fleetingly brushed his. ‘I love you.’ Then the hand returned over his mouth so he could not speak. Ben kissed against his ear, murmuring, ‘I love you,’ before moving up slightly and kissing each eye, repeating the soft words at each touch of his lips. Still Aleksey was stifled and could not respond, which he hadn’t wanted to do anyway, but now as he was so close to coming, and Ben so heavy and warm upon him, and in the quiet intimacy of Ben’s confessions, he needed to tell him, desired to hear himself as much as Ben wanted it. So close, he began to jerk with deep release into Ben’s body, and Ben ground himself as he worked, and Aleksey ripped the hand off and kissed him, fingers pulling on his hair, raising himself into the orgasm, and he mouthed into Ben’s kiss, ‘I love you,’ as they came together. When he felt Ben’s sperm wetting him, he moaned it again, and then once more as they lay tightly entwined with their hearts beating in synch, and then, because it was true and he could not now remember why he had always been so silent, he whispered it into Ben’s sweat-tangled hair, and when he woke the next morning he thought he might have been saying it in his dreams, for if it was possible to love Benjamin Rider-Mikkelsen more than he had the previous day, he thought that perhaps he did.
Some exponential curves were very seductive indeed.
His eyes opened to daylight and to the realisation that he was face to face with Ben, who had apparently been watching him sleep. Ben quirked his lip and dug up his arm from somewhere in the hot tangle of their bed to idly rearrange some sticky blond strands as he considered him. ‘Do you know just how beautiful you are?’
‘I think that’s my line to you.’
Ben acknowledged this with a small nose wrinkle. ‘But I should tell you more.’
‘In case my ego suffers from neglect?’
‘No. Because I think it all the time but don’t tell you.’
‘Huh.’ He’d not expected that, and it was nice to hear. He didn’t necessarily believe it himself, but he was willing to suspend scepticism about his charms to allow that Ben might think this.
‘You don’t believe me.’
He gave what he thought was a self-deprecating lip twitch. Ben stopped playing with his hair and cupped him around the back of the neck. ‘Sometimes, I look up and see you, and it takes my breath away that you’re mine. Still, after all these years, you’re all I think about, all I want.’
Aleksey frowned into the close hold. ‘Again, I think that’s my line. That’s me, not you.’
Ben gave him a little shake of admonishment for stupidity and then climbed over him to get out of bed, slapping him on his backside as he went.
Aleksey thought about getting up to follow him into the shower but wondered idly if he tried to stand whether he’d find himself floating slightly on nothing but the buoyancy of love.
* * *
Chapter Seventeen
Later that morning, when the more prosaic nature of the day had made the strange, almost otherworldly night seem more like a dream than their normal life together, Aleksey was about to go for a ride when Ben appeared with the car keys swinging around one finger. ‘Can you come bring me home from Exeter? Squeezy’s gone off with Phoebe on your secret mission, so he can’t take Austin’s car back like he promised. I’ll do it, but then I’ll need bringing back.’
‘Huh. I thought England had big red things with wheels. Ask your daughter, she sings about them.’
‘Yeah. Like, no. Why keep a dog and bark yourself?’
Aleksey blinked. Ben dodged, laughing. ‘I’m going to take her as well, so she can get some new books and games for next week, and Miles. He wants some more bits and pieces for his obstacle course, and Mol Mol’s because paint, but I think it’s mainly because he wants to ride in an electric car.’
The two children were already waiting for them in the Merc. Molly had her little unicorn suitcase on wheels on her lap. It appeared to be her essential-items go-to accessory these days. They drove to the cottage. Miles and Ben then transferred to Austin’s car, and he and Molly followed behind. By the time they got to Exeter, Aleksey was fairly sure Ben was regretting his choice of companion. He was driving at the speed limit and signalling nicely. The health and safety expert on board was clearly demanding it.
They pulled up at the new apartment complex on the canal and all climbed out. From the rear, these new environmentally-friendly flats were just as impressive as they had been seen from the front at night. To one side of numbered parking bays, they found a bank of rapid-charging stations for electric vehicles, and access to the underground parking garage. The door to this was up, and when they went to see if they could leave the car in there, they spotted Austin standing behind a large diesel SUV.
Molly was trundling her case happily along little paved paths which had been cut through the outdoor games areas, but when she spotted them heading down the slope of the basement entrance, she followed, reassuring her unicorn that it was not a scary cave, and encouraging him to be brave.
Austin was leaning into the boot of the big vehicle, so didn’t hear them at first. He appeared to be rearranging luggage, shoving and pushing to make more space, a final hard-shell suitcase open at his feet. When Ben hailed him, he rose so quickly that he bashed his head on the raised hatch and swore louder, rubbing it, clearly startled and annoyed. When he saw it was them, he kicked the suitcase lid closed with his foot and came forwards. ‘Hello, there. I’m just loading Maddy up. She’s off for her rowing competition. Got enough damn clothes to row around the world. Can’t stop to chat, or she’ll miss the ferry. Sorry. Did you tell us you were coming?’
Ben explained about the car and handed over the keys. Austin took them and muttered, ‘Oh, yeah, thanks.’ He thought for a moment, glanced back over his shoulder at his interrupted job, and then with a hand on Ben’s shoulder asked slightly anxiously, ‘Can you show me where you parked it? They’re a bit fussy about that sort of thing around here.’
Ben allowed himself to be led away, and Aleksey trailed after them, wondering how hard it would be to spot the only car parked in the entire place.
Austin walked right up to the charging bay. ‘Oh, this is fine. Right, well, thanks for bringing it back.’
‘Did you know that accidents with walkers and cyclists have gone up forty percent since electric car ownership has increased?’
Delighted, Aleksey kept his face straight but turned his enquiring glance to Austin to see how this environmentally concerned scientist, who also apparently thought nothing of also owning a diesel SUV, dealt with that crushing argument from the twelve year old. Austin turned to his small inquisitor and replied curtly, ‘Good. Fewer people.’
Miles clearly wasn’t expecting that. ‘That’s not a very nice thing to say. What about the blind people who can’t hear them coming?’
Austin turned away. ‘I’m busy. I need to get on.’
