They came together, a tangle of clothes and flesh and muted exclamations of desire.
Ben tried to make them decent again, but Nikolas stilled his hands. When he released the emergency stop, the elevator exited into their own exclusive lobby, so no rearrangements were necessary. They fell to the beautifully carpeted floor, ripped off the rest of their clothes and did it all again; this time Nikolas topping and working Ben until Ben’s jaw ached for an hour afterward from the tight clench of pain and pleasure.
Only when they were totally spent did they bother to rise and explore the apartment. By this time, one expensive place was beginning to merge into another for Ben. It was nice. He wouldn’t have given a hundred and forty million pounds for it, but it was okay. Nikolas seemed highly amused at Ben’s reaction. Apparently, he’d never seen the apartment before, either. He’d bought it on a whim to shelter some of his grandfather’s money and had, up to the previous week, had a tenant in it, a Russian who’d stolen most of his country’s oil, something that clearly amused Nikolas no end.
Ben had to admit the view was good, and it was across from the park so he could walk the dog easily. Nikolas was laughing openly now. He shook his head despairingly at Ben’s obvious intention not to be impressed and came to stand by him at the window. Ben leant his forehead on the glass. “Why do I lose you every time I think I’ve found you?”
Nikolas turned to him questioningly.
“You were a soldier for a while—down and dirty with me. And now this. I can’t keep hold of you.”
Nikolas turned back to the view. “You do it too. Adapt.”
It was Ben’s turn to stare at Nikolas, and Nikolas added, “Downstairs, you reverted to the old Ben, the SAS Ben, without a thought. What would you’ve done if I’d come over and kissed you? In front of your colleague? We both play games and have masks we like to wear.” He put his hand on Ben’s shoulder and idly rubbed his thumb on the short hair at the back of his neck. “Sometimes, I thinkyouare my only reality.” With that, he ruffled Ben’s hair and went to discover the bathroom.
§ § §
The second meeting with Gregory was to be at the Tate Modern. Again, there’d be a lot of people around, but no one would give them any particular notice. Nikolas had decided, for some reason, they should forgo the urbane, wealthy look, opting this time to wear his scruffy jeans and one of Ben’s T-shirts that had seen better days. He pushed his bare feet into loafers and regarded himself in the floor-length mirror of the bedroom. He ruffled up his hair. He hadn’t shaved, either. Ben was watching these arrangements from the bed, perplexed, but also rather amused at the game Nikolas was playing with his old colleague. “I’ll go shower.”
Nik turned. “No, don’t. I haven’t.”
“But I’m covered in you. Much as I like that…”
“Stay as you are. Just dress. Those jeans I like you in and maybe…” He rummaged through a selection of T-shirts. “This one. Same colour as your eyes.”
“Huh, I didn’t know you’d ever noticed what colour my eyes are. You’ve never mentioned it.”
“Hmm. I’ve noticed. Trust me. Get dressed.”
Ben had never put clothes on without washing before. It was decidedly unpleasant. He ran his palm over his stubble. “So, what’s this all in aid of? You gonna tell me?”
“It was something you said, playing roles. It got me thinking about Gregory and the games we used to?And I think I’d better say no more.”
“Yeah, good decision.”
Nikolas was eyeing Ben, rumpled and lean in his jeans. “So…we have some time before…”
Ben nodded. “Yeah, sorry, I promised I’d meet Squeezy for a coffee.”
“Squeezy? That’s a very strange name.”
Ben shrugged. He debated telling Nikolas the story of Squeezy’s naming but decided, as he had the moral high ground in their relationship at the moment given Nikolas’s dissembling about Gregory, he’d better keep it to himself.
He hadn’t made any kind of arrangement with his old friend, but Nikolas’s odd desire to dress like an Abercrombie and Fitch model had left him unnerved and annoyed. Nikolas let slip about games? Well he was going to end the whole fucking game. Extinction level event.
He made his way down to the basement where the security offices were. Squeezy was watching a bank of monitors, drinking coffee. He glanced over at Ben. “Off duty?”
“I need a favour.”
The other man stared at him for a long time and then nodded. No more words were needed. Favours were pre-promised and expected. That’s what being in the family meant.
§ § §
The gallery was packed with people examining the exhibits, chins in hands, thoughtful expressions on their faces. Ben refused to be intimidated. He loathed art and thought it was all pretentious. Nikolas had clearly been here many times before and led Ben around, attempting, without any success, to persuade him condoms and solidified sperm were art. Gregory was where they’d arranged to meet, in front of an exhibit of used plastic shopping bags and dead flies. He seemed to sense Nikolas’s presence and turned. His eyebrows rose. Then he frowned. Then he smiled and came forward with a far more genuine look of pleasure than he had at the restaurant. He embraced Nikolas in a warm hug, which, Ben observed, was returned. For one moment, Gregory pressed his face into Nikolas’s hair and breathed in, then he held him off and murmured in far less accented English than he’d used during the previous meeting, “You are my little Aleksey again. Not now so much the big man, hey?”
Nikolas put a hand lightly on Gregory’s arm. “I’m sorry, Grisha. It wasn’t a good start. It’s been a long time for me, too. I’ve not changed so much, but I wanted you to think I had. I didn’t do what I did lightly, leaving you, leaving everything. I wanted you to see I’d made the right decision—for me, at least. Come, walk with me?” Gregory nodded, and they drifted off together, speaking Russian, laughing occasionally, and completely ignoring Ben.
Ben pursed his lips, watching them walk away. There didn’t seem much point in following them, as he couldn’t understand what they were saying, and he appeared to have been totally forgotten. He wondered whether the three bullet holes in Nikolas’s leg had been forgotten quite so easily. He wandered back to the entrance, and as it was a nice day, decided to sit by the river and pass the time topping up his tan.
