Nikolas smirked. “But I like you to think of yourself as an equal in this relationship.”
“As long as I never put it into practice?”
“Exactly. So, do you actually like the idea of a holiday? Do you want to go?”
“Duh. But I was wondering…a holiday from what exactly?”
“Ack, you have to remember I was intimately connected with your Royal Family for many years. I’ve rather got used to the idea of holidays from doing absolutely nothing. Besides it’s cold and dark all the time here.”
“Somewhere hot then?”
Nikolas arched his back, lifted them both effortlessly and hiked up his jeans. “Definitely. With water where we can swim.”
Ben was beginning to get quite enthused by this idea. “Beach then. Hot. Southern hemisphere?”
“Possibly. Shorter flight? Maybe Thailand?”
“What about the Caribbean? Don’t you own a tropical island or something—for investment purposes?”
Nikolas laughed. “My grandfather bought a cattle station in Australia during the war as an investment, which is now mine—of course. I’ve never seen it, but I don’t think I’d want to holiday there. I have property in New Zealand, too, but they’re better in the winter. Maybe someday I’ll take you there and teach you to ski.”
“I know how to ski.”
“You’re English. You ski like pussies. I’ll teach you the Scandinavian way.”
The movie suddenly clicked off. They looked across at the screen. “How does it end?”
Nikolas laughed. “I’ll show you.”
§ § §
Nikolas tipped them off on the floor and lay heavy over Ben. He cupped him, exploring. “I don’t need to trade you in for a younger version just yet, I see.” He moved languorously around Ben’s body, lifting his T-shirt, kissing his ribs, under his arms, across his chest, and then down his hard belly to the line of hair that led under his waistband. He followed this down as well, unzipping as he went. When he was ready, when he had Ben begging, he swallowed him down, never quite as enthusiastic at this activity as Ben, for it carried many bad memories for him; nevertheless, he was willing to pay back all the pleasure he was always given. In some ways, he almost enjoyed the feel of Ben’s fingers in his hair now, trusting Ben knew not to push him, not to hold him, not to humiliate him. Bad memories.
When he was done, he swallowed and licked his way back up to Ben’s neck, kissing deeply into the warm hollow. He rolled onto his back with a small grunt of pain and heard Ben ask in a slightly concerned voice, “Okay?”
Nikolas wobbled his hand, a concession, and then added, “Some of the hallucinations are quite entertaining. Twelve hours are passed, no?” He wasn’t happy to hear that, unfortunately, they hadn’t. Ben suddenly stood and pulled him to his feet then encased him in a powerful hug. Nikolas took the embrace in the spirit it was offered. Accepted and welcomed, it made him forget his pain and stay ahead of the fear that was haunting him for a few moments longer.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
In the end, their holiday destination was decided by what was available at such very short notice. It was a beach, a lagoon, and a luxury hut over the lagoon with guaranteed sun. What more did they need to know? The first flight was for twelve hours, then a change at Changi airport, and then another four hours to a place neither of them had heard of nor could spell. Both used to travel and travelling first class, the trip posed them no particular worries. More of a problem for Ben was leaving Radulf. He could tell the dog was depressed, and insisted everyone stop laughing at him when he said this. Radulf did appear even more anxious and sad which was saying something for a dog whose default setting now was nearly blind and badly scarred. Ben was on the point of cancelling the whole trip when a ring on the bell solved the problem on the afternoon before they had to leave. Nikolas never demeaned himself to answer the door unless he was expecting Ben, so he waved imperiously at him to do the honours. Ben dutifully got up, but before he could get the front door fully open, heard, “Fuck me, but this is some fucking posh place. Fallen on your fucking feet here, Diesel.”
Tim, who’d been going through final house-sitting details with them, shot Nikolas a very shifty look and rose uncertainly. Radulf struggled to his feet far more certain and skittered into the hall to greet his third favourite human. There was a lot of swearing, and then they came into the kitchen, Squeezy with a holdall. He didn’t appear to notice Tim, who theatrically ignored him in return.
Nikolas chuckled. “I’ve been outmanoeuvred by the SAS. I can sink no lower.”
Ben caught this as he entered, and buoyed on Radulf’s return to happiness, he came over and kissed Nikolas’s hair. “You’ve had five years practice, you should be used to it.”
Nikolas had never been kissed in front of two other men before. He’d certainly never been teased by Ben in front of two other men. Ben suddenly realised what he’d done. He froze, scrunching his face and trying to think of something to say to ease the moment. He needn’t have worried. Perhaps relaxed by the thought of escaping the rain and the cold, Nikolas merely swatted him—albeit harder than could be called wholly affectionate—and told him to fuck off with his little friends and play. Ben did. He took Squeezy on a tour of the house, showing him how everything worked and jokingly pointing him toward the second spare bedroom, knowing very well it wouldn’t be used.
§ § §
They packed that night. Nikolas took a while to decide which identity to travel on, and opted in the end for Christian Beck once more. He had a suspicion the inquest on Aeroe would be held while they were away, and he wanted it to be seen clearly they were on the other side of the world and couldn’t attend. Besides, he’d grown rather fond of Christian in some ways, sad man that he was, jealous of Nikolas Mikkelsen, needing the services of a male prostitute, beaten up by a librarian…The guy deserved a holiday.
§ § §
The airport service picked them up the next morning. Despite Squeezy’s presence, Ben was still anxious about leaving Radulf. He wasn’t impressed when the last thing Nikolas said to his two dog sitters was: “If you become fed up with him, here’s the address and number of the shelter. He can be returned at any time, even though he’s now slightly worse for wear.”
They climbed into the car. Ben suddenly told the driver to wait and returned and snatched the paper out of Squeezy’s hand. “Don’t you dare!” He looked down. In Nikolas’s beautiful cursive handwriting was a detailed and thoughtful list of everything anyone could ever want to know about looking after Radulf: his favourite food, where to walk him, what to do and not to do to help his blindness, what programmes he liked to watch, where he slept…Ben bit his lip and returned the list to Squeezy, tapping it. “Op orders, soldier.” Squeezy saluted. Daddybark was in very good hands.
