Nikolas nodded. “So, God forgive me, but when I saw him watching, I tried to make him jealous. It seemed such a small victory for all I’d sacrificed. Well, I succeeded. He was very jealous—and confused by this, naturally.” He seemed lost in his dark thoughts for a moment then added, almost to himself, “Even after all this time I still don’t really know who he was jealous of—me? Sergei?” He shrugged and inevitably winced. “We fought, but it wasn’t much of a contest. His holidays consisted of travel and enjoying himself, mine didn’t. I pinned him down on the bed and then…” He turned and stared out of the window again. “She told me I was a bad man and she was right.”
Ben started to speak, but Nikolas laid his fingers on Ben’s lips. “Iama bad man, Ben, but I came to terms with this while I was in that shed. I’m what I am. It was the bad man in me that enabled me to survive. I can’t be a new man. I can only be myself: good, bad, and anything that lies between those two.” He eased his hand out and ran it up the shaved back of Ben’s skull.
Ben caught his hand and kissed each finger around the bandaging. There’d been a time, very recently, when he doubted he’d ever do this again.
§ § §
Ben had endured a very bad few days, and they didn’t seem to stop coming. The police had insisted on speaking with Nikolas as soon as he was conscious but hadn’t actually been able to make an appointment with him until it suited his convenience. It hadn’t suited him to speak to them at the station, either, so they made the journey through the snow to him. Ben was so nervous he managed to pour coffee down his T-shirt and was actually shaking when he answered the door and ushered them in. He resisted blurting out he was guilty of something and agreed to leave—at their insistence. Nikolas said he preferred him to stay. They objected. Nikolas studied his nails, and as they needed him to answer questions, he won. They sat down. Ben sat down. They eyed Nikolas. He raised his eyebrows at them, politely.
“Mr Beck, can you think of any reason why Gabriel Peterson abducted you?”
“No.”
“No? Did you have a relationship with Ms Peterson?”
“No.”
“No? Can you confirm what your relationship with Mr Rider is?”
“No.”
“No? You don’t know what your relationship with Mr Rider is?”
“Oh, I know what it is. I’m just not going to confirm it to you.”
“You’re not being very helpful, Mr Beck.”
“No.”
“Who’s Nikolas Mikkelsen, Mr Beck?”
“I have no idea.”
“Were you aware Mr Rider was taking money for sex from Nikolas Mikkelsen while he was in London? That Mr Rider is, in fact, a prostitute?”
Nikolas’s eyebrows rose a little higher and everyone in the room probably knew he was resisting the urge to look at Ben. “No. I wasn’t aware of that.”
“What happened between you and Mr Rider over the two nights before your abduction, Mr Beck?”
“Be more specific.”
Ben glanced at Nikolas out of the corner of his eye.
“We have physical evidence from Mr Rider that shows he was subjected to a prolonged and vicious assault. He was tied down, punched, beaten severely, and raped. Was there anyone else here, Mr Beck, besides you and Mr Rider?”
“No.”
“So you’re responsible for his injuries?”
“Yes.”
“Have you given Mr Rider money while you’ve been on Aeroe?”
“Be more specific.”
“Answer the question please. Have you given him money, paid for this lodge and paid for expensive meals in restaurants?”
“Yes.”
