Nikolas shrugged. “Who won the war?”
“What war?”
“Ack.” Nikolas made one of his dismissing gestures. “So, we play?” He considered Ben carefully then said with some confidence, “I’ve never fucked my married boss.”
Ben gave him a look then nodded slowly. He was right, not a game at all. He took a swallow of vodka. “I’ve never committed adultery with a male employee.”
Nikolas shrugged and drank. “Too easy. I’ve never kissed and then tried to fuck a professor of ethics.”
Ben gave him an even longer look then drank. “I’ve never buried my brother in sand up to his neck and left him to the tide.”
Nikolas laughed, clearly very pleased with himself, but drank. “I’ve never worn women’s clothing.”
Ben’s eyes widened. “I have never fucking?”
“Don’t swear at me, and you had to put on a burqa in Iran to get to the airport.”
“That’s not?”
“Do men wear burqas? I think not. Drink up.”
“I’ve never taken illegal drugs.” Nikolas narrowed his eyes, pouted, and then drank under protest. But he added in a surly undertone, “You’ve never been in prison, you wouldn’t understand.” He tipped his head to one side, theatrically thinking. “I’ve never starred in a porn movie.”
“Fuck off! I was undercover for you!” Nikolas pointed at Ben’s glass and mimed drinking. Ben did then with a scowl retorted, “I’ve never shot a woman.”
Nikolas stilled his hand. He looked down at the water, considering, but then drank.
Ben wasn’t pleased to have had this guess confirmed. He liked this game less and less. He was tempted to reassure Nikolas he’d only been at Ingrid’s and get him to call Ingrid to confirm, but something, some sliver of pride, held him back.
Nikolas stirred the water for a while then said, “I’ve never set fire to someone and watched them burn.”
“I didn’t watch.” Ben drank. “I’ve never just inherited every thing I have.”
Nikolas waved his glass in an irritating fashion and drank. “I’ve never slept with a prostitute.”
Ben laughed. “I don’t believe you.”
Nikolas shrugged. “Drink.”
Ben did. “I’ve never murdered a child.”
Nikolas was pouring them both more vodka. His hand shook slightly, but he dutifully drank. Ben really didn’t want to play this game any more. He was just about to end it, even if Nikolas did call him a pussy again, when Nik drawled deceptively casually, “I’ve never allowed someone to tie me up and hit me.”
Ben didn’t take a drink. He couldn’t believe Nikolas had just said this. His wrists and ankles were still raw from Nikolas’s game, Nikolas’s will—Nikolas’s pleasure. And to be accused of…to have it implied he was somehow weak for allowing the very thing Nikolas wanted…Forallowingit.His head was swimming. He felt sick. Before he could stop himself, he blurted out, “I’ve never fucked my twin brother.”
Nikolas stared at the bubbles as if he hadn’t heard this then looked off into the trees. He tipped his head slightly as if he’d finally heard but was trying to process the actual words, and then he shot out of the water and grabbed his towel. Ben followed, the water sloshing heavily over the side of the tub. Nikolas swung around, pointing. “You don’t get to say that. Whatever you are.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I?What the fuck do you mean, whatever I am?”
“You’ll never understand, and I don’t think I want to explain it to you.”
Ben froze on the implication of Nikolas’s words. “You did? I was only trying to fuck you around, to get back at you for saying?My God, Nik, when? You fucked your brother?”
Their teeth were chattering. Ben grabbed Nikolas’s arm. The deck was icy. As Nikolas wrenched away, Ben slipped. He still had hold of the arm, though, so they both went off into the snowdrift. Naked, they staggered to their feet. “That’s what he accused you of, isn’t it? Before he fell—before you pushed him? It was nothing to do with that street boy. You killed him because he reminded you that?!”
“Stop it! I don’t want to talk about this!”
Ben began to speak again, but Nikolas swung his fist. Ben went down. It was just as well Nikolas was painfully drunk, it was a clumsy shot. Even so, the blood dripping from Ben’s split lip was shockingly red in the frozen white world. He lumbered to his feet and landed heavily on Nikolas, thumping him down into the snow. They rolled, wrestling, scrabbling to try and gain purchase and swinging fists ineffectually. Finally, Nikolas kneed Ben in the balls and rolled on top of him. Before Ben could stop retching, Nikolas grabbed his thighs, parted them and forced himself in. Ben was beyond furious and tried to push him off, but Nikolas laughed and held him down, finally proving which one of them would win a fight purely by the fact he was willing to do things in a struggle Ben wasn’t. He came very quickly and with very little pleasure. There was certainly no pleasure for Ben because Nikolas had deliberately not taken time to bring him off or allow him to work himself. They’d had far more vicious sex only the night before, but that had been in an entirely different context. They both knew who was really in control when Nikolas wanted to play his games. Being fucked in the snow didn’t seem like much of a game to Ben. He pushed Nikolas off, still feeling sick from the hit to the balls and from the vodka—which suddenly came up in a rush. He vomited into the snow, spitting. Nikolas stood slowly alongside him. He staggered slightly, still under the influence of the vodka himself, and Ben was damn sure now Nikolas had been plastered well before he’d arrived.
