Ben’s head reared back, and his horse, sensing his agitation, backed off too quickly. Ben had to grab the saddle to keep his balance, and he eased the horse out of the water and up toward the rocks. When he felt the wind lessen, he slid off the animal, walking her around, calming her—calming himself. Nikolas joined him, dismounting and finding a treat in his pocket for his horse, patting her nose and talking softly to her in his native language.
Finally, Ben replied, “Nathan. He was called Nathan. He was a carpenter. He was putting new windows into the cottage for me.”
“Had he been there long?”
“No. Why do you ask this now?” He saw Nikolas’s expression for a fleeting moment before the other could hide it. “You already knew all about him. Of course you did.”
They began to walk their horses back toward the headland separating the two beaches at high tide. “I was curious when you would tell me, though.”
“No, you weren’t. Jesus. Is this about the job or is this about us? You think his death has something to do with…It was just a kiss. People kiss.Normalpeople kiss.”
“You think you are not normal?”
“I thinkyou’renot normal! With all due respect. Sir.”
Nikolas laughed. “So, you think I will become a substitute Nathan for you?”
Ben groaned. “No. Christ. Look, forget it, yeah? I…You won the fucking race. Youalwayswin, okay? I thought…” They were in the shelter of the cliff now, wind worn and hollowed into shallow caves all along the lower edge. “I just wanted…”
Nikolas’s hand suddenly cupped him around the back of the neck and pulled him close, his lips landing on Ben’s, silencing him. Their lips were cold, skin cold, but Nikolas’s leather gloves were soft on Ben’s face as they tested and tasted the kiss. The same height, they were a natural fit. They pulled apart, a rare smile on both their faces, and then they kissed again, this time with lips eagerly opening, tongues exploring. Ben thought his tongue had already discovered the most intimate places on his boss’s body, but he was wrong; this was something very different. He doubted either of them could kiss like this and keep up pretence or habitual detachment.
It was only Ben’s horse rearing and snorting that alerted them to the presence of others on the beach. Ben heard a yapping and saw two dogs come racing around the headland, chasing seagulls, barking joyously. They eased apart and remounted, walking their horses slowly, side by side. Ben couldn’t think of a thing to say, and he was fairly sure Nikolas was equally stumped. There was a lot to process. On the wind-blown promise of something better, something almost tangible and real, things had suddenly changed between them. They clearly both sensed it, and it silenced their front of easy familiarity. Ben felt a knot of sick tension in his belly. He’d rather things stayed as they were than lose Nikolas entirely. He knew very well who held all the power in this strange relationship—and it wasn’t him. Finally, Nikolas laughed ruefully and ran his fingers through his hair in a gesture so familiar that Ben knew things would be okay between them. He hadn’t ruined anything. He glanced at Nikolas to find the look returned. He shook his head fondly. “I’m sorry I blew up about Nate, sir. I guess I feel guilty because I pulled him into my life and it got him killed.”
“Did you intend for that to happen?”
“No! Of course not.”
“Then I see no cause for you to feel guilty. Sad, yes. But sadness always passes.”
Ben watched his boss’s lowered eyes as he spoke. He was tempted to ask when Nikolas’s sadness would pass but knew the question wouldn’t be tolerated. Instead, he announced cheekily, emboldened by the kiss, “Last one back buys lunch!”
He was a length ahead when they reached the stable, but then he’d been allowed to win. Who was indulging whom in this little victory, Ben wouldn’t have cared to say. They dismounted, and Nikolas handed the reins to a stable boy, fishing in his pocket for a last treat for Ben’s horse and murmuring something to her in the wild language of his conquering forebears.
CHAPTER FOUR
They walked side by side back to the house, and Ben saw that Philipa’s other guests had arrived. The lower rooms would now be noisy with people, bags, dogs, and assorted accoutrements for a pre-Christmas weekend in the country. Nikolas gave Ben a nudge, and they went around the back of the house to the offices from which a private staircase rose to the upper floors. He followed Ben to the large bedroom in the original Elizabethan part of the house, which was almost called “Ben’s Room,” so frequently had he stayed there. Low mullioned windows let in a weak winter sun that only penetrated the room for an hour or so each day at this time of year, the gloom not helped by the thick ivy growing over this ancient part of the house. Ben went to the window, leaning on the sill, peering out. “Have I ever mentioned that I love this house?”
Nikolas smiled. “Once or twice. I will send you the upkeep bills if you would like. Were you adequately insured?”
Ben nodded. “I think I could afford one of your dogs’ kennels now.”
Nikolas came closer, standing behind him. “I’d give you preferable rates, Benjamin, you know that.” Ben turned. The frisson of anticipation surged back, but for the first time ever it wasn’t for rough sex. He wanted Nikolas to kiss him again. He wanted Nikolas toinitiateanother kiss, to admit his need—to admit finally that this, what they had, wasmorethan sex. He could see the hesitation. Unbelievably, he could see confusion in Nikolas’s eyes. He wondered if this secretive man had ever been confused about anything in his life. Thathewas the one confusing his boss only added to Ben’s mounting excitement. Finally, some decision seemed to have been reached in the impenetrable brown eyes. Nikolas put out a hand and snagged Ben’s sleeve. With his other hand, he cupped Ben’s face, brushing his thumb over the prominent cheekbone.
“So…luncheon?” He flashed a swift grin and turned away, walking to the door.
Ben groaned. “You sod.”
Nikolas went out onto the landing. “Do take your time to shower and change. There is plenty of hot water.” He turned with an inscrutable look. “Unless you need a cold one, of course.”
§§§
Ben wouldn’t have dared call the meal lunch. It deserved the name luncheon, twelve people around a Georgian table in the huge dining room, servants hovering as the guests helped themselves to a sumptuous buffet laid around a beautifully decorated fifteen-foot Christmas tree. A fire crackled in the original fireplace, the mantel decorated with yet more greenery. Ben recognised most of the other guests from his many weekends staying with the Mikkelsens. Truth be told, they all looked alike to him—wealthy, entitled, landed. As he was none of these, he preserved his dignity by wrapping an air of silent mystery around himself, eating anything offered him as it was all free, and entertaining himself by watching his boss dissemble, charm, and seduce. He had a lot to learn from Sir Nikolas Mikkelsen. A space opened up next to him, and Lady Philipa slid into it, her plate unfashionably heaped with good things. “So, darling, do tell me that you’ll join us this afternoon.”
Nikolas turned from the woman next to him and said calmly, “You know Benjamin and I never hunt. And we have work to do.”
“Oh, tosh, you can’t let him bully you like this, Ben. You don’t come here to work.”
Ben kept his eyes lowered. “I’m sorry, but if Sir Nikolas needs me…”
