Ben felt like something spewed from the devil’s backside, but he nodded to the convenient lie. “It’s not just him. It’s the fucking job.” And how true was that when you were inappropriately in love with your married, unattainable boss? But he could be an equally cold bastard and use his more personal emotions to further his professional cause. “If I were you, I’d be doing something more than painting signs. You should take some lessons from history, mate. Direct action. If you’d met that tosser today, poncing around in his brand new Range Rover Sport—Jesus. My dad was still driving a twenty-year-old car when he died.”
“My Lada’s new.” Ben turned his head, and they both spluttered with amusement on the thought of a Lada, however new, being compared to a £100,000 Range Rover. But on that joint laughter, something else got shared. Tim said hesitantly, “You should meet Seamus Mafferty. He thinks like you. He was…well, he doesn’t talk much about his past, him or his brother, but I get the impression he’d not stop short of a bit of direct action.”
“What about you?”
Tim was quiet for a moment then said, “I’ve done some things I’m not proud of. I think I used to be angrier, more militant. But recently I’ve been thinking about what it means to live an ethical life. Becoming like your enemy, however much you believe in your cause,mustbe unethical. I can’t live like that.”
This was beyond Ben’s comprehension. He’d spent his whole adult life killing as ordered, either in the army or the department, and had never once felt any guilt about what he did. “This Seamus, was he there tonight?” He knew he hadn’t been, but it was necessary to feign ignorance.
“He said he had something on. But he’s keen to meet you. I didn’t actually mean you should follow through on your thoughts, Jaime. I couldn’t support even knowing you were about to do anything that would break the law.”
“Would it be unethical or illegal for me to tell you to take off your jeans?”
“No, but if I comply, I will be a hypocrite, something I have always despised. I am hardly living up to the ethical principles I espouse being here with you now.”
“You talk too much. Take off your jeans.”
Tim smiled sadly and began to slide them down his hips. “Have you got…?”
Ben raised his eyebrows expectantly. When Tim didn’t elucidate, he asked impatiently, “What? Have I got what?”
“Err…condoms?”
“Condoms?”
Tim frowned. “Rubbers? John—”
“I know what fucking condoms are.” In a flash, his mind was back to a billiard table, to a leather saddle in a stable, a horse blanket on a beach one summer, wildly expensive hotel rooms Nikolas always paid for…everywhere and everything they’d done—without condoms. They’d never needed to even ask if they were needed, never had a lack of trust or lack of immediate understanding between them. Is that why they never spoke? They genuinely had no need for words? Had he actually found the one person in the world he was meant to be with? But Nikolas didn’t share his feelings. Or did he…?I have my orders—I have had my fucking orders made very clear to me all morning.
“I think it’s best if I go, Jaime. I’m sorry. I don’t think this is what either of us really wants.”
“Hey, no…” He tried to recover some of the momentum and pulled Tim back to him, but the other man pushed him off and gathered his shirt and jacket from the floor. “I really like you, Jaime.”
“Yeah, thanks for that, mate. That’s a big comfort.”
“So, I’ll see you tomorrow? To meet with Seamus?”
In the back of Ben’s mind, as he listened to Tim outlining a proposed meet, he knew this whole scene tonight only added to the veracity of his cover. He couldn’t imagine any other agent being as inept and unwilling to trap his target as he was tonight. No one could possibly suspect him of honey-trapping Tim Watson. It was embarrassing. You couldn’t fake the self-pitying shit he’d laid on this poor guy tonight. He didn’t comment on the proposals and nodded sourly. “Whatever.”
CHAPTER NINE
Ben lay sprawled on the bed after Tim left like a beached starfish with little will or ability to move. After a long time, he heard his phone ring from the floor where he’d left his jacket. He ignored it. It rang again and stayed ringing until he couldn’t stand it anymore. He snatched it up and saw an unrecognised number. What a surprise. He stabbed the button and said sourly, “What do you want?”
There was silence for a moment then, “What do you want, sir, might be a start.”
“Yeah. Whatever. Sir.”
“You are obviously not in an appropriate mood for a professional conversation. I will contact you late—”
“I—I’m sorry, sir. I’ve made contact with Tim Watson. I don’t believe he’s the one making the threats. He’s implicated the younger Mafferty brother. Seamus.”
“Are you sure Watson isn’t playing you?”
“Yes. We got up close and personal. As you ordered me to do.” Ben heard other voices but no response from Nikolas. “Are you still there? Where are you, by the way?”
“At the office.”
“Jesus. It’s three a.m.!”
