“Well, figure out how. I need to know.”
It was so confusing two years ago when he left, trying to come up with answers, trying to decide if he was alive or dead.
I tore myself apart trying to put a puzzle together without any of the pieces. And now he's going to give me all the answers.
He doesn't speak for a long time. Then, he slowly unbuttons his flannel.
“What are you—” I start to say, but then I see the marks on his chest.
Big, angry-looking scars. Three slashes, like claws, but then a mottled section of skin in the middle of his chest.
“Oh my God, Emmett, what is?—”
“I was attacked,” he says.“It's a very long story, but I was attacked. And I didn't tell you.It healed kind of quickly, and I thought everything would be fine.”
“I remember,” I say automatically, not even aware I’m going to say it until it’s out of my mouth.
His brow furrows. “What do you remember?”
“I remember you refusing to take your clothes off.Or let me see you.”The memories are starting to flood back. Weeks before he vanished, he started acting strange.He didn't want to take a shower with me.He didn't want to take off his clothes when we fucked.
And the very last time we had sex, he put me on my knees, fucked me from behind.Certainly not strange, but when I tried to turn around after it was over,he had already disappeared into the shower, the door locked behind him.
He didn't want me to see him.And this is why?
“Tell me what it is.”
“I was out hiking one night while you were at work,and I came across a big dog in the park. I just assumed it was a wolf,and what a fucking wolf would be doing in the middle of fucking Central Park,I don't know…But anyway, I got bit butit closed up really fast, even though it scarred over. And then, things got bad.”
“Bad?”
“A few weeks later, I turned for the first time.It happened while I was at work.I was sawing through a board. I cut my finger open, and I just, you know, got a surge of adrenaline, no big deal.And then, it just happened.Luckily, we were working on the outskirts of town. I ran into the woods.” He pulls his shoulders back, clears his throat.“I was gone for most of the day, but by the time I was back to normal,it was time for me to come home to you.”
He takes a deep breath that draws my eyes to his chest, where the top button of his flannel is still undone. “I acted like nothing was wrong. You didn't notice anything, so I… I don’t know… I guess I thought it was over. But it happened again a few days later. I don't know what I thought I was going to do at that point.It's not like I could keep going with my normal life. My body felt weird and different, unfamiliar…”
He trails off, swallows. I watch his Adam's apple bob in his throat.“It fucking killed me, Brynne.Leaving you fucking killed me. But I was terrified.I had no control over it anytime I got angry or…”He trails off again.
“Or what?”
His blue eyes flick up to mine.He holds my gaze.“Right before I left, we were... One night we were, um…”He sighs, and I roll my eyes.
“Just say it, Emmett.There's no reason to hide anymore.” I’ve never known Emmett to be timid, but he can barely look at me now. I think he might be blushing.
“Right. We were having sex, and...I felt it start. I freaked out.I wasn’t able to...I didn't even…”
I think back to that last time. Me on my hands and knees, and him behind me.Did he not even finish that night?I must havebeen so caught up in myself that I didn't even notice. It’s not something that’s ever been in question before.
“I ran away, and I was able to calm down, but...I just got so fucking scared, Brynne. I got so fucking scared.” His voice trembles and his hands are fists on the table between us.
“You don't have to be scared.”I start to reach across the table. But when my fingers just barely brush his, he yanks away from me and shoots up out of his chair.
“I don't have to be afraid? Brynne, I can barely control it.Anytime I feel anything that's too big…”He shakes his head.
I think back to yesterday, him pushing me against the wall and kissing me.That's why he ran away then, too.
He's still shaking his head, pacing back and forth, his veined hands on his hips.“I’m not going to do this to you, Brynne. I'm not going to hurt you.”
“But you won't divorce me.”
