"I don't want to share aroom with my mom."The last thing I want is for my nightmares tokeep her up all night.
Sam smiles wistfully."Iknow, Ror.I got three rooms.The prosecutor called Tucker and toldhim to be on stand-by.That they'll call him on the first day ifthey need him to fly down for the second day, in which case he'lljust stay in my room."
I stare at the kitchentable, nodding absently.It doesn't feel real.I'm going to have tosee Robin again.I hate that I have to see him.And as much as Iwant Sam with me for support, I don't want him there just the same.I don't want him to have to be a part of this.It feels like dejavu, and I feel like the pain of my past is about to swallow up thehappiness of my present.
"Ror..."
"Hmm."
Sam takes my chin betweenhis thumb and forefinger, forcing my gaze back to his."I'll bewith you the whole time," he promises.But that's just it.As muchas I want that, it's also what's bothering me."Baby, it's going tosuck.I know it is.But it's going to be okay.I told you, he's notgoing to get away with it."
And that's where he losesme.Because he can stay by my side as much as he wants, but he hasno control over what's about to happen.He holds my face but myeyes still escape, staring out the window over his shoulder at thebeautiful late-spring day.The afternoon sunlight glitters over thesurface of his lagoon-shaped pool.It's a beautiful place—the homewhere he grew up.But life wasn't always beautiful inside thishouse, I know that.Things are rarely as they seem, rarely as theyshould be, and it makes me wonder how long this happy state betweenSam and I can really last.
"Do you trust me?"Samasks suddenly.This catches my attention.It's a strange questionat the moment.
I nod through myconfusion.
"Then trust me," he saysintently.
Chapter Sixteen
Theplane ride is quiet and wistful.I sit between Sam and my mother, trying not to think about theupcoming days.The prosecutor, Lauren Counter wants to put Sam onthe stand first, then me.Depending on how our testimonies go,particularly Sam's cross-examination, she may ask Tucker to flydown for Thursday.She also told me that Robin plans to testify.And that terrifies me.Because I can only imagine the lies he willtell, and who might believe them.
It all comes down to thejudge.He will either believe Sam and me, or he will believe Robin,and I have no way of knowing how much of the Forbes' influence hasreached his jurisdiction.I suspect it's just enough to get Robin aslap on the wrist and not much more.Particularly if his motion issuccessful and the violation of my restraining order isdismissed.
Sam holds my hand, but hedoesn't say much.I'm sure he knows every thought in my head.Mymother reads through files she's long memorized, barely stifling asmile as she notices Sam's and my threaded fingers.
We check into the hotelaround nine.Sam got us the same rooms as our last trip and mymother's room is next to mine, but not connecting.Which means Samand I can access each other's rooms easily.Under any othercircumstances I would be excited about it, but right now, it barelyeven registers.
We haven't had a chance todo anything more than kiss since we got back together onlyyesterday, and the upcoming court dates have clouded any realcelebration of our reunion.I try desperately to break out of mymelancholic state, particularly since I know there isn't much I cando—that there's no worse outcome than the one I'm already preparedfor, but I can't help but feel completely hopeless.
We have a quick, equallyquiet dinner in the hotel restaurant and each head back to ourrespective rooms to shower and get ready for bed.We don't discusssleeping arrangements, but I make my way to Sam's room after myshower and climb wordlessly into bed with him.His arms openautomatically, and though I don't have nightmares, I don't reallysleep either.
I don't really wake up thenext morning so much as I'm still awake.Sam is too, looking tired,but still handsome beyond reason.
I return to my room todress for court and Sam finds me after he's ready.He looksgorgeous in his suit, and I can't help but think of how ironic itis—the reason for my first time seeing him in one.My charcoal-greyjersey shift dress is demure and professional, and I pull my hairinto a loose braid to keep it out of my face.I take a pill to calmmy nerves, tucking the bottle into my purse along with my cellphone and lip-gloss.
Sam's behind me in themirror as I put in my pearl earrings.I try to offer him a smile,but fail.His arms come around my waist and he plants a soft kisson the crown of my head.
"You look beautiful, youknow.I know it's probably not the right thing to say right now,but it's true," he murmurs.
I do smile then, and turnin his arms, pressing my face to the lapels of his blazer."You'renot so bad yourself."
"You know, one day, you'llbe getting dressed like this every day, going to court, gettingjustice for people.Helping girls just like you."
I pull away and meet hiseyes.His words strike me.They give me hope.
"Do you really thinkthat?"My voice comes out weak, nothing like the powerful woman hedescribed.
"I know it, Rory," he saysintently."First, we have to get through today.And then tomorrow.And then one day, this whole experience will help other girls.Andthey'll be better off for it."
I hug him again.I don'tknow how he always knows the perfect thing to say to me, but hedoes.
We walk out of my hotelroom hand in hand.My mother is outside her room waiting for us andit vaguely occurs to me that I should have had him walk out of hisown door.At least put on a show for her.But she doesn't seem tocare.
"Ready?"sheasks.
We both nod.I'm not, ofcourse.But Sam's words stay with me, and I think to myself thatwhatever happens, whatever the injustice, one day I will make itall worth it.
