"Look—"
We both try to talk at thesame time, and then nod at the other to go first.This is weird.It's a strange position—to know we're supposed to talk aboutsomething so big, so potentially life-altering, but notnecessarilywhen,and yet, I'm not sure I can hold it in.
Sam sighs."This is silly.I don't want things weird between us.I meant what I said the otherday, Ror.No pressure.If you want us to be friends, then that'swhat we'll be, okay?"
My stomach sinks indisappointment.He's not going to make this easy on me, and it's myfault for having been so skittish about our relationship in thefirst place."Is… is that what you want?"I ask shakily.Damn it, Ineed to be stronger.Where is all the courage I had yesterday whenI came up with this whole idea?
"I… I think you know whatI want, Ror.That's never changed.But what Ineedis to know whatyouwant."
Fair enough.
I stare into his eyes.Here goes nothing.
Everything.
My fingers tremble as theyreach for the zipper pull of my hoodie, and I slowly pull itdown.
It takes him a moment tounderstand, and his brow furrows in that way that makes me crazyfor him.He's so incredibly beautiful.
His eyes finally widen insurprised understanding as he takes in the tee shirt under myhoodie—Port WoodmereFootball, number fourteen.The back, heknows, has his own last name,Caplan, written acrossit.
This is it.What I want.My declaration.I'm his.
If he'll haveme.
"Where'd you getthat?"
They're not the words Iwas hoping for."Bits," I answer.
One of my errands fromyesterday included me asking his little sister to help me out, andshe was all too happy to.
Sam shakes his head as hislips quirk up into a smile."You know what this is supposed tomean, right?"
He thinks I don'tunderstand the depth of meaning behind the gesture.But Ido.
"Yes, Sam, I know exactlywhat it means.It's my way of saying…I'msure.I've never been so sure of anythingin my life.So if you—"
But I don't get to finishthe thought, because his lips cover mine immediately.
God, yes.
I kiss him back witheverything I have, completely uncaring of the few passers by thatstraggle into class at the last minute, or the catcall that Ibarely even register.His arms come around me and he presses meinto the lockers I panicked against when we first met, his tonguesliding against mine in a dance that feels so different, so muchbetter now that I'm really his.
The bell rings, but itsounds miles away, and neither of us pulls away.Sam sucks on mybottom lip in that way that makes me sigh, a sound that makes hismouth crash against mine with renewed fervor.
I'm vaguely aware of acough, but I don't care.I've missed this too much.It soundsagain, and Sam finally pries his mouth away, holding his foreheadagainst mine as we catch our breath.
"Yes, perhaps you shouldprioritize breathing over sucking her face off."
I startle, accidentallybanging my head back against the locker.Ow.Sam threads his fingers throughmy hair, rubbing the spot for me and starts laughing.It's thenthat I realize the cough was Mr.Frank clearing his throat and Iblush scarlet as he chuckles with amusement.Well, at least we'renot in trouble.
"Maybe I should considerturning my student tutoring program into a matchmaking service.Itwould be a great way to supplement my meager teaching income," Mr.Frank jokes.
I stare at my sneakers,but I hear the smirk in Sam's words."I think you'd be prettysuccessful."
"Not so disgruntled over myhomework policy now, are you, Caplan?"
"No, sir.I'd have to sayI support it wholeheartedly," he murmurs as he leads me into theclassroom.
