My father stands, and Idon't bother looking up as he makes his way around his desk andtentatively places his hand on my shoulder.I don't evenflinch.
"Sammy," he says, andsquats down to my eye level, waiting until I meet hisgaze.
I look at him with achildlike helplessness that I despise with every cell in my body.It's a desperate vulnerability that I need fucking resolved.I needRory's demons either locked up or slain, not just for her, butforme.Because Ican fool myself into believing I'll someday be able to get overher, but I know I'll never have even a shadow of peace of minduntil I can be sure that she's safe.
"I promise you, we willhelp yourfriend.I will do everything in mysignificantpolitical and legalpower toburyherpiece of garbage rapist," he says adamantly, and I believe him."And I know how difficult this is for you, but I need you to trustme.You need to be patient and listen to what I tell you, and mostimportantly… don't do anything fucking stupid, Sammy, you hear me?If that girl cares half as much about you as you obviously do her,she needs you to be cool-headed and calm.The last thing she needsis you doing something reckless, son.You get yourself locked up,and where does that leave her?"
Exactly where she fuckingis, just with one lessfriendwho doesn't even talk to heranymore.
But I don't say it outloud.It would do no good.Because she may not know that I'm stilllooking out for her, but I do, and so my father is right—I'm moregood to Rory if I do things his way, as much as I know how muchmore gratifying meting out violence for violence wouldbe.
Because I sure as hellcan't say that I didn't enjoy the punishment I doled out in thatgoddamned alley.The only part that dulled the satisfaction was theknowledge that I would have to stop.That I couldn't just finish itthere.The cops were on their way, and there were too many peoplearound.But I won't pretend I haven't considered doing it the rightway.Planning, calculating… and executing.Literally.
But I know the legalrecourse is the best option.So I will trust my father—this man Ithought I knew and long ago judged, and who, despite his remorse,does not deserve my forgiveness.But I do so knowing that if wefail, if it turns out my father is not quite as influential as hebelieves himself to be, that there is another way to ensurethat motherfucking bastardcan never hurt Rory again.And though it will probablyirreparably alter the course of my future, it's a risk I'm preparedto take.Because I know the alternative risk—Rory's safety—is notone I'm willing to leave up to chance, or the fucked up whims of adegenerate, sadistic animal.
Chapter Ten
Wespend the better part of the nexthour carefully dissecting Rory's case files, searching for any andevery foothold to condemnthatmotherfucking bastard.Mitch puts thephotos of Rory's injuries away in his desk drawer, adamant that Ishouldn't look at them.I don't fight him, because I'm notconfident that he's wrong, and I'm not sure I can be the calm,cool-headed man Rory needs me to be if I have opportunity to addmore laser-printed images of her suffering to my memory.The onefrom the alley consumes me enough.But I make a mental note that hehas them, that if I decide I want to see them, then I will fuckingsee them.
I don't feel like we'reaccomplishing anything more than going through the play by play ofRory's past hell, and if the sickening animosity raging through myinsides with each uncovered detail is any indication, then myfather was right to keep me from seeing those photos.
But as impotent as I feelright now, my father appears to be in his element.His brow isfurrowed in concentration, his eyebrows rising in peaked interestevery now and again as he jots down barely legible notes on hisever-present legal pad.He murmurs to himself, and asks me randomquestions, though I rarely have the answers.Aside from what Iwitnessed in Miami, I only know what Rory has told me, and most ofthat is already laid out in nauseating detail in thefiles.
Finally, he gets to Miami.I watch with no small amount of discomfort as he reads through myown statement to the police, then Tucker's, and finally,that motherfucking bastard's.I already read it while my father was going through thereport from Cameron Foster's accident.
It's what I'm lookingthrough now, and this time, I don't hide from the photos.I see hiscar molded around a tree, looking no more durable thanaluminum—like a beer can crushed by some drunkard'sfist.
It's strange to feel grieffor someone I never met, and even more so for someone who, if hewas alive, would be my primary rival for Rory's love.But I feelvaguely as if I did know him, as if perhaps we might understand oneanother in some visceral way.Because we are, or were, or are,marked by the same mission—the well-being of one incredible girl,whom we would both kill for, would both die for, and for whom healready did.
"Okay," my father sayssuddenly, and I startle and slam the accident file closed andreturn his gaze."I've read all of the statements from Apriltwenty-third.Now I need you to tell me what reallyhappened."
I glare at him, notexactly sure what he's asking.Or accusing.I clear my throat,gesturing to the statement he's just reviewed."It's like I said inmy statement.He attacked her, I pulled him off of her, he swung atme and we fought."I shrug.
"The three of you werealone in the alley, and then you called out to Tucker…" he says,and I nod.
"Right, like it says."Itry to suppress my growing impatience and silently remind myselfthat he's just doing his job—the oneIasked of him.
My father sighs."Sam, Ineed to ask you these questions.Because his lawyer certainly will,and you need to be prepared.But more than that, I need all of theinformation.If you don't trust me as your father then at leasttrust me as a professional.Anything you tell me isprivileged.
"You need to understandthat you've been accused of a crime, though thankfully you haven'tbeen charged, and I doubt you will, but I need to know everythingwe are working with to devise the best possible plan ofaction."
"Damn it, Mitch!I didn'tcome to you to defend me againstthatmotherfucking bastard'sbullshitaccusations!We need to focus on making sure he gets the maximumjail sentence so he can't come after Rory again.That'sit!" I don't mean tolose my temper, but my burgeoning exasperation is getting the bestof me.My father, however, stays cool and collected, still the bestversion of himself, and it makes me feel childish incontrast.
"I understand why you'vecome here.I've already made you a promise on that front, have Inot?"he asks with measured patience.
I stare at him,incredulous.Does he seriously believe that one morning of apparentremorse and five years of supposed sobriety have erased every brokepromise of my childhood?
He seems to recognize mysentiment without me having to utter a single word, and I watch himdeflate before my eyes.His shoulders sag, he rubs his eyes, andhe's no longer the seasoned professional in his element.Instead,he's just a man with a lifetime of regrets, and this oneopportunity not to make it right, but at least to head in the rightdirection.And he's still my best option—Rory'sbest option—and so I swallowmy pride back down to keep company with the perpetual weight in mychest and gut.
"Samuel, listen carefully.Robin Forbes' allegations against you are relevant to your friend'scase.The past assaults may very well not be admissible, since thecharges were dismissed in exchange for not contesting theInjunction for Protection.So the incident in Miami is everything.And the evidence—Aurora's scrapes and bruises—can also be explainedbyhisversion ofevents.If it comes to a trial, it's going to come down totestimony.A jury will either believe Robin Forbes or Aurora Pine,as is often the situation in these cases, and he is presumedinnocent unless proven otherwise,beyond areasonable doubt.The burden is onher.
"But Aurora has one othercard, and that'syou.You are the only witness to any of these assaults asidefrom the victim.But the defense will argue that your relationshipwith the alleged victim makes you biased.We would have to arguethat the fact that you care for the victim does not mean you wouldlie for her.Your credibility might just be the thing that gets youthe outcome you want so badly.And these allegations about youractions that night can destroy that, Sam.If a jury believes youwould assault someone for her, then they will believe you would liefor her, and in fact, that you already did, in thisstatement."
He presses his open palmto the closed file and pats it once, and I stare at it, very awareof its contents, and how they are only partially true.I feel bilerise in my throat.If my need to exact violent vengeance in thatalley has compromised Rory's safety, I could never forgive myself.
I rub my eyes with myfists and take a deep breath."Tell me what to do."
"Just answer my questions.And don't leave anything out."
