It makes me think of Rory,of how she sees herself as weak despite the fact that she embodiesa courage and fortitude one would never expect in aneighteen-year-old girl.Or most grown men, for that matter.Especially considering everything she's been through.
I smile inwardly.Suewould love Rory, I'm sure of it.And I bet Rory would like herright back.
She isn't at her post whenI arrive in my father's office suite, and I take a moment to lookaround.Nostalgia floods my bones and it's both wistful and eerie.The decor has been updated, but it's all very much as I rememberit.I suspect Sue is either fetching something for my father, or inthe restroom.Otherwise she would be sitting in her usual place,another fixture, in my mind more permanent to this office than thefurniture itself.
She was another reason Iusually enjoyed the many hours I spent in my father's office as achild.When he was busy or with a client I would sit out here righton the floor, coloring at the coffee table, or as I got older,doing homework or studying.Sue was perfect company, busy with herown tasks, but available for conversation, with a supernaturalintuition that always seemed to know whether or not I was in atalking mood.Maybe she really is a vampire.
But it was her manner withmy father that I found most appealing.Sue is the one person thatnever took his bullshit, that called him out on his arrogance, andhad the audacity to crack jokes at his expense.And as the mostdiligent, efficient executive assistant in Manhattan—my father'swords—he was happy to put up with it.I think he even enjoyed it.In fact, if I wasn't fully aware that Sue preferred women and hadbeen committed to her now-wife since before she even started atMason, Goldberg, & Caplan, I would have suspected they werehaving an affair.After all, she's nothing if notbeautiful.
"Sammy Boy!"Sue exclaimsfrom behind me, and my lips automatically slip into a small grin.The familiarity of her exuberance is strangelycomforting.
I turn into her embraceand am immediately struck by how small she seems.She looks nodifferent from the last time I saw her.It's me that's changed.Sueno longer seems like the Amazon Queen I remember, but just a tall,beautiful, if still completely ageless, woman.I now tower aboveher by all of two inches.
"My God, boy, I neverthought I'd see the day you were taller than me!"
I chuckle lightly, I wasthinking the exact same thing, and I tell her so.
Her hair is done in small,spring-like curls, slicked back into a poofy ponytail.It'sactually a fairly tame look for her.
She motions for me to havea seat on the sofa, and makes to join me.
"How are you?How'sLillian?"I ask her.
"Oh, fine, fine," shereplies flippantly, tossing her giant, funkily manicured hand inthe air as if how she and her wife have been is of little interest."We're the same, just a few years older, it'syouwho's barelyrecognizable!Jesus, just look at you."She pats my cheek playfully."And aboutto enter Columbia.You're gonna slay those poor little coedhearts."She squeezes my bicep, her massive hand making it looksmaller than I'd like, but her expression tells me she finds itimpressive, or at least she's flattering me."I bet you're doing italready, aren't you?If I look out the window am I going to see amob of crazy teenaged fans holding up posters and waiting for aglimpse?"
I shake my head at her inamusement.She's always been like this.Telling me how handsome Iam and that I better be careful or some poor girl's dad was goingto come after me for my supposed future heartbreaking ways.But therecollection of those regularly repeated warnings drains mymirth.
Because I know that's howit's supposed to be.Fathers are supposed to protect theirdaughters, even from the imagined threat of a boy pursuing her.Butnot for Rory.For Rory, the threat was far from imagined, and itwas her whom her father went after.
I'm reminded why I'm here,and there's nothing amusing or playful about it.
"Not exactly, Sue," Ifinally reply."Is my father with a client?"I feel badly for beingbrusque with her.Another time, I would love to catch up with her,honestly.But right now, I'm too determined by my task, and I can'thandle distractions.
"No, young man.He'swaiting patiently for your arrival.A little irritably, too—he hasa lunch date he doesn't want to be late for.But it's when he'slike this that I just love making him wait an extra bit."Shesmirks, and I can't help but return it.Godwould I love to help her get myfather riled up right now, but that would be counterproductive, andit's just not the time.I stand up.
"I'm sorry, Sue.But Ireally need to speak with him.I don't have a lot of time either,"I tell her.It's bullshit of course.I have no other plans untilthis evening, but if he needs to be out of here by lunch, thenhe'll be out of here by lunch, whether we're through or not, and Idon't want our meeting cut short.
A vague look of suspicionflashes in her eyes, before she professionally tucks it away,hiding it behind her amiable smile.She nods toward my father'sclosed office door."Then go on in, Sammy Boy."
I nod and thank her, andhead down the short corridor.I pause with my hand on the knob,hesitating, before taking a deep, determined breath, and twistingit open.
My father's head shootsup, either actually startled or just finding my presence startling.I swallow my nerves, they have no place here, not now.
"Mitch," I say ingreeting, wishing my voice came out a bit more steady.He standsup, blinking as he looks me over, and for the first time in mylife, we are at the same eye-level.
"You're so tall," is thefirst thing he says, before shaking his head to himself as if torid it of his somewhat stunned state.
"No taller than you," Imurmur.He nods and motions for me to sit in one of the club guestchairs, and I make myself as comfortable as I could possibly be infront of this stranger I barely know anymore, and wish I never knewas a child.
Neither of us speaks forlong moments and I let him take his time as he looks me over as ifI'm some kind of curiosity.Eventually his neck sags, his eyes dropto his desk, and his fingers reach for his forehead, rubbing histemples in a stress mannerism I recognize as one of myown.
Finally my father meets mygaze, serious as I've ever seen him.Still, I stay quiet.I'mcertain he has something he wants to say, and I can only hope itisn't something that's going to end this meeting before it evenbegins.
"Look, Samm—Sam.I owe you anapology."
Not what Iexpected.My expression slips into one ofsardonic disbelief before I can control it.
My father sighs."Okay,more than one," he concedes.
