I decide to text Tuckerand see if he wants to hit the gym with me.We always liftedtogether regularly during football season, and though it's moresporadic now, he's definitely still my ideal spotter.Dave is toochatty during workouts, and when you're trapped beneath a hundredpounds of weights, you don't want to be stuck with atalker.
I know Tuck won't be upfor a while still, so I go for a run outside first.Spring hasreally arrived, and it's already pretty warm despite the earlyhour.I've barely run a mile by the time my shirt is soaked throughwith sweat, so I pull it off and stuff it into the waistband of myrunning shorts, letting it dangle.
The neighborhood isusually quiet, but at this time on a Sunday, it's completelydeserted.Our house is off enough from main roads and there are nosidewalks.It's almost rural for a suburb, but it is a facade.Every house is no more than three blocks from a four-lane street,and five from town.Port Woodmere is a standard upscale suburbantown, as far as I know.High-end boutiques and big brand stores,nail salons on each street, and elegant restaurants.Even the dinerwe often eat lunch at is more of a cafe than an actual diner.It'sactually calledThe Diner.It's not even meant to be ironic.
It's not that I don'tappreciate my hometown.I realize I'm lucky to have grown up herein Port Woodmere, with its celebrated school district and everyamenity imaginable.It's just not the real world.Not by along-shot, and I've just been feeling more and more like it's timeto get out.To meet new people, and experience new things.Andthere's no place better to do that than Manhattan, and although itisn't exactly far, that's part of the beauty of it.
I pick up speed as Iapproach my sprinting mile.August can't get here fast enough.Honestly, though I'm a bit reluctant to leave Mom and Bits at homejust the two of them, I can't fucking wait to move into the city.I'll be able to get home weekends, and they come into the cityplenty anyway.But I like knowing it's barely a forty-five minutedrive back home, less on the Long Island Rail Road.That if theyneed me I can be here in under an hour.
But I need a change ofscenery.
And fine, I have enoughself-awareness to know that if Rory wasn't going to be a shortsubway ride away, I might not be so eager.But she is.
I'm going with Thea in acouple of weeks to go see where we'll be sharing an apartment.Thea's mom is my mom's sister, and they've always been close.Lastyear, when my aunt and uncle had considered getting divorced—theycalled it atrialseparation—my Uncle Kelly bought anapartment on the Upper West Side.
The separation didn'ttake.Of course, no one ever thought it would.No one everintentionally spoke about it in front of me and I didn't ask, but Ithink Uncle Kelly might have been suspected of someimpropriety—something about texts from a co-worker—and my AuntNikki wanted to teach him a lesson.She never really wanted to losehim, and he didn't want to leave her either.They're one of thosecouples that really loves each other, even through theirissues.
It sucked to watch ithappen, and Thea had been fucking devastated.She even came to staywith us for a couple of weeks last summer when it had all firstgone down.But I'm glad they're reconciled now.They seem to havereally moved past it, which works out pretty well for Thea and me,because now there's that sweet two bedroom apartment sitting emptyon West 65th and Columbus.
It's a little closer toColumbia than NYU, but a reasonable commute to each, and it sure ashell beats freshman dorms.
After we see the place I'mgoing to meet with my father at his office.He agreed to look intoRory's case.To speak to some people.But he wanted me to agree tomeet him in his office once he does, to go through everything.Idon't know if he really needs me there as a client, or if he'susing it as an excuse to see me.
If he is, it's surprisingas fuck to me.He's certainly never made a modicum of effort to seeme for the past five years.But he's paid every cent in alimony andchild support, and my mother has never had to worry about money.And I thought that he felt that was sufficient a contribution tohis children.
Not that I disagree.He'smade contribution enough.His drunken fucking abuse has seeped intomy psyche, mixing with his contribution to my genetic code.Whocould blame me for havingangerissues?
Either way, I agreed to bethere.So the Thursday before Senior Sleep-In, I will meet with myestranged father and, if I fucking have to, beg him to help me savemy girl...who's not my girl.
I arrive back home to findTucker's car in my driveway.I find him seated at the kitchenisland having coffee with my mom and sister.Not that there'sanything strange about the scene.It's a fairly common one.Tuckspent practically half his childhood in this house, and the otherhalf was spent with me at his house.
Tuck follows me down tothe basement and I lay back on the bench press.Neither of us speakfor the first couple of reps.That's the main thing I like abouthaving a private gym.I realize it's an extreme luxury, and I'mgrateful for it.I dislike gyms full of people talking about theirstrength, and regimens, and routines.Guys competing with eachother about exercise?I don't know, it's weird to me.
Eventually Tuck sayssomething about something cute that Carl did.It was funny.He'ssmitten.And I'm fucking ecstatic for him.I am.I'm just alsojealous as shit.And I can admit it to myself.I feel guilty forit, too, but it doesn't change the fact that I wish things couldhave been that easy for Rory and me.
I do enjoy seeing my bestfriend like this, though.If he were a girl, I would almost callhim giddy.Tucker's always been one to put on the charm to avoidtalking about real shit and giving away his feelings.I'm one ofthe only people he really talks to, that he's really open with.Andthe same is true in reverse.
I wonder how close he andCarl really are.Considering how in love they seem, I bet shereally knows him.Perhaps better than I do.I think about how wellRory knows me, how much I confided in her so quickly.And how Iknow her—her fears, her desires, andfuck, how she looks when she'scoming apart at the seams.
Of courseCarl knows Tuck better than I do by now.Andthat's fine with me.I just hope that she never changes her mind ormoves on.I'm not sure I could stomach seeing Tucker, thejock-clown, as fucking desolate as I feel.
I ask him if Rory's comingbefore I realize that I just asked him like twenty minutesago.
I can't see his face but Ican sense him roll his eyes.FuckingTucker.
"Yes, Cap."The sarcasmdrips from his words."Carl is driving her at eleven," herepeats.
"Right," I grunt as I pushthe dumbbell up and set it on its stand."Let me spot you and thenI'm going to shower," I say.
"Yup."
****
Thea and her older brother, my cousin Daniel, arrive with myAunt Nikki around ten, and we all help my mom set up for brunch.Ittakes less than ten minutes, and then we're all sitting out on thepatio, drinking coffee.Danny tells some story about how he got waytoo drunk, the night before his humanities final and almost didn'tmake it.My mom rolls her eyes and Thea elbows him, but he justgives her his trademark "what'd I say?"look that's so common forhim.He's always been one of those people incapable of identifyinghis audience, who says whatever it is he's thinking regardless ofwho's around.
In some ways it'sadmirable.You certainly get what you see with Danny.But on theother hand… let's just say his mouth is very familiar with thetaste of his own foot, figuratively, I mean.He's Thea's oppositein everything but their looks.He's only a year and a half olderthan us, but he could be Thea's twin.They both have vibrant redhair, though his is cropped close to his scalp now while Thea'swild curls are as untamed as ever.These days her freckles aremostly camouflaged by what I assume is some kind of makeup powder,and while Danny's have faded somewhat since he was a kid, theystill reign free in a pattern I used to play silentconnect-the-dots with at boring family brunches and dinners as achild.
They grew up in Greenwich,Connecticut, which isn't more than an hour from here withouttraffic, though it could be a lifetime with, and our moms made surewe spent plenty of time together growing up.In fact, it was withtheir family that we used to rent the East Hampton house eachsummer before my parents' divorce.
