Sam licks his lips."It'sokay, Ror.If you want to go have breakfast with him, I understand.I'll wait for you right here," he says meaningfully.
I stare at him.I know howhe feels about my father.I know the last thing he wants is towatch me drive off with him right now.But he will.With Sam,there's never any judgment, there's only selflesssupport.
"Idon'twant to."
The last time I stood on aporch with a man who betrayed me and another who loved me, I chosewrong.It's a mistake I won't make again.
"I told you I wanted tohave breakfast with you," I remind him."That there was nothing I'drather do.I meant it."
Sam stares at me, hisexpression still unreadable.
I turn back to my father."I appreciate what you're trying to do.And I don't know, maybe wecould do that sometime.Get somethin' to eat and talk, I mean.Butright now, like I said, I have plans," I tell him, and then I turnback to my front door, and pull Sam through it after me.I close itbehind me and lean back against it.
Neither of us speaks forseveral minutes, until we hear my father's car start and drive offto God only knows where.
"You heard all that?"Ifinally ask Sam, even though I already know the answer.
Sam nods."I heard allthat," he confirms, wrapping his arms around me."How do you feel?"he asks.
I think about hisquestion.How do I feel?
"Strong," I tellhim.
Sam nods."I'm so fuckingproud of you, baby girl."
The truth is, I'm proud ofmyself too.Never in a million years did I think I would have thenerve—thestrength—to say those words to my father.And now that I have, I feeleven more unburdened.Freer.The door to my future—our future—seemswide open, and I'm finally ready to walk through it.Not justready, but hopeful.Excited even.
I know I can't predictwhat will happen.No one knows better than I do the kind of curveballs life can throw at you.But I'm finally realizing that I canhandle anything, and that while I know I still have a lot to workthrough, I am lucky.I have the love and support of an incredibleman.One who wants to marry me someday.And that's not only afuture I can look forward to with all my heart, but a present Ican't help but be eternally grateful for.
It turns out Sam was rightall along.I am strong.
Epilogue
Iwatch her closely, vigilant for signs that I'm about towitness my favorite fucking sight.I feel every part of her againstevery part of me, and I lift only my face just to see her.Hercheeks are flushed the sexiest pink and I feel other signs of herpleasure against my skin.Her mouth is slightly open, swollen fromour kisses, her eyes shut tight.She'sfeeling.I love that I'm making herfeel.
But I have to watchher.
"Look at me, Ror," Idemand softly.She complies immediately, like she always does whenwe're like this.
When we connect like this,when I'm inside her, there's no sign of her defiant nature, or hersnarky sarcasm.There's only eagerness and desperation for more,mirroring my own.
She moans a strangledversion of my name, and I almost lose control.She's not like othergirls who say the things and make the sounds they think guys wantto hear.No, Rory is all instinct.Her reaction to what I'm doingto her, how I'm making her feel, and it's an emboldening thing tohear.Inspiring.
Now that everything is outthere in the open between us, that we are both finally starting tounderstand just how committed we both are to this relationship,there's a new level of intimacy we are only beginning to discover.Every day that passes I fall deeper in love with her, but I alsofeel that fear dissolving.The one that whispers that she couldleave me again.That reminds me that the harder I fall for her, themore it would destroy me to lose her.But I'm starting to reallybelieve that won't happen.That she needs me just as much as I doher.
I wasn't kidding when Itold her I wanted her to be my wife someday.What I didn't tell herwas that I'd ask her now—that it would be a great relief to get aring on her delicate little finger, to know with that kind ofcertainty that she was mine forever—if I didn't think it wouldscare the shit out of her.
"That's it, baby," Iwhisper, my voice inexorably husky with lust.I need her to keepher eyes open."I want to watch you."But that's not the onlyreason.
I want to see when she'sclose.I want a warning, because I don't want this to end yet.Idon't care that we have somewhere to be, things to do.I just wantto be inside her as long as possible.
I'd never had a problemwith control.Not since I was an inexperienced fucking kid.ButRory...she makes me totally lose my senses.My attraction to heris fucking consuming.I've always had an active sex drive since Ihit puberty, but Rory makes me just utterly mad with lust.She'sfuckingbeautiful—honestly the hottest girl I've ever laid eyes on, though Iknow she doesn't believe it.But it's not just my attraction toher, or even our inexplicable chemistry.It's a great deal morethan that.
I love that she trusts me.It is such a fucking turn-on, especially from someone with goodreason not to trust guys.I love that she is so willing—sofuckingeager—tobe vulnerable with me.To let me take control.To touch her how Iwant to, taste her, make love to her.It's a gift I can't resist,and one I don't take for granted.And it's the hottest fuckingthing imaginable.
And when I'm here withher, intimate like this, I'm completely in the moment.In a way I'dnever been with any of the not-so-few girls I've been with.Andbeing in the moment, completely absorbed in Rory, it's alreadydifficult to keep any semblance of control.It's even harderto stay in your head when you experience the most beautiful, eroticthing you've ever witnessed.But it'sfeelingit—her entire body'sreaction to me—that always takes me over the edge.
Nothing has ever felt asincredible.Nothing ever will.
