And my hip is still bleeding. I don't think it's so deep that I need stitches, but even so, I know where Michelle, Cam's mom, keeps her butterfly bandages. They'll have to do.
I remove my bra and let it fall to the floor. I am thoroughly disgusted with myself. I can't look at myself for one more second. I grab Cam's bathrobe from the hook behind his door and make my way to his bathroom.
I turn on the shower and close my eyes. I wait until the bathroom has filled with steam so I can't see my reflection in the mirror, and only then do I remove the bathrobe again. I take care in the shower, letting the nearly scalding water wash away the remnants of Robin Forbes. I can still feel himeverywhere.I vow to myself that he will not touch me again.
Ever.
I scrub despite the bruising and the soreness, but no matter how hard I scrub, his marks are still there. I wear the events of today like tattoos, and though I know at least most of my injuries will eventually heal, I wonder what will happen to the marks no one can see. If my nightmares are any indication, they will not get better with time, no, they will just fester and rot until they haunt my waking hours like my nightmares do my sleep.
Finally I get out and towel off. I clean the cut from Robin's house key. I was right, it doesn't need stitches, but it is pretty deep. It's still bleeding. I clean it again with antibacterial soap and apply bacitracin. I retrieve the butterfly bandages from the top shelf of the linen closet and it takes six of them to close the wound. I cover the whole thing with gauze and tape it down just in case it decides to bleed some more.
I wrap myself in a towel and half-heartedly dry myself. I slip on one of Cam's old tee shirts and boxers, and with my hair still sopping wet, grab my cell phone and climb into his bed.
Robin is an hour and a half away. I also know he has to be up at six in the morning and he can't be late to the program. He can't come after me again tonight no matter what. In fact, with the pre-training dinner on Saturday night, the absolute earliest he can leave is Sunday morning.
There's a storm coming Sunday too. It's not supposed to be too bad, but it has been all over the news. Butmystorm - the destructive torrent that is Robin Forbes - is done.
I text him.
We are over.
Nothing else. There's nothing else left to say.
I consider texting Cam that I'm here and staying over, but I don't want him to rush home for me. And I know if text him he'll do just that. I don't want to burden him. I feel like I'm a weight on his shoulders. I love him in ways I could never love Robin. Unconditionally. Of course, Cam could never possess conditions that would make him unlovable.
I wonder if he's out with the guys or if he's with a girl. Suddenly I'm hit with that pang of jealousy that's lately become somewhat familiar. I know it isn't fair. Until two minutes ago I had a boyfriend. But,God,I haven't been able to stop noticing things about Cam that never really caught my attention before. At least not the way they do now. Like the lines of muscle in his back. The deep cut V that disappears below his waistline.
His scent.
What used to elicit comfort and security now also ignites something else. Something unfamiliar.
I close my eyes with thoughts of Cam, and somehow Robin and the terrifying events of tonight are buried somewhere deep within my psyche.
****
"Rory girl?" Cam whispers.
I blink my eyes open. "Is it okay that I'm here?"
"Don't ask stupid questions," he murmurs, and even though it's too dark to see, I know he's rolled his eyes. Cam kicks off his shoes and pulls his flannel pajama pants from his drawer. I hold my breath as he peels off his shirt. Even in just the moonlight, I can see the definition of muscle and sinew in his chest and abdomen. And his strong arms. I need them tonight.
He removes his belt, and before he takes off his jeans, he lifts his head to look at me. "Uh, Ror?"
"Yeah?" My whisper is breathy and unfamiliar.
"You gonna turn around or should I change in the bathroom?" He chuckles.
Godam I lucky it's too dark for him to see my blush.Has Cam ever made me blush before?Jesus, tonight has really thrown me off. I turn to my side and hug my pillow.
When I hear him open the closet door for his sleeping bag, I reach behind me and flip open the comforter. Cam sighs at my silent request, hesitating only a moment before sliding in behind me and wrapping me in his arms. I find his hand, so big splayed over my stomach, and lace my fingers through his. I hide my wince from my smarting back as he pulls me tighter against him, but I'm grateful for the comfort.
"God, I've missed you, Ror," he breathes into my hair.
"Me too, Cam." He has no idea how much.
"I thought you were goin' down to Gainesville with Forbes."
I shake my head. "We... broke up."
