Finally I meet her eyes.
"Look, he... he told me," she says.
I glare at her.He told her?He told herwhat?Surely not that he... made me have sex with him.
"He told me you guys- you know, slept together for the first time last night. Don't feel weird about it, Rory. You know, I lost my virginity to some guy I met in the Bahamas when I was on vacation with my family. I'd only known him a week. You slept with your boyfriend of six months who you love. There's nothin' to be embarrassed about."
Oh.I'm still surprised that he talked to his sister about it, but his version of things is easier to swallow, I guess. And she's right. Robin is my boyfriend of six months, we've exchanged I love you’s, he's clearly committed to me. It's okay that we had sex. No, not just okay, it's right that we did. I just wish I'd felt ready before he'd made the decision for me.
"Come on, Rory, you're still a good girl. Let's go down and eat, everyone's waitin' on us." She thinks I'm worried about my good girl rep. I never especially cared for that rep in the first place. I never wanted to be seen as a good girlora bad girl. Hell, before this year I never cared about being agirlat all.
"Yeah, okay."
I follow Lacey down the stairs and through the foyer.
"Robbie was real worried about you, you know. He really loves you." Her tone is almost disapproving. Like she hadn't expected him to fall in love with me - like maybe I don't deserve his affections. And maybe I don't. I sure never thought Robin Forbes would ever want to take me out, let alone love me.
The Forbes all greet me as I enter the dining room. Robin walks over to embrace me. He plants a chaste kiss on my lips and pulls out my chair like the southern gentleman his parents believe him to be. I dutifully sit, and breakfast commences just as it has every other weekend I've spent here.
Mayor Bobby and Cindy Forbes go on and on about Robin's UFL contract. They couldn't be more proud of their superstar son. Mayor Forbes starts telling a string of stories about him and my dad back when they were undergraduates together. He asks what I want to study in Gainesville, and I tell him pre-law, but that I'd also thought of applying to NYU like my mom, and that draws surprised glares.
"Surely your daddy would rather you go to Gainesville," Mayor Forbes hedges.
"Did you hear that directly from him?" I ask tentatively. Because my father certainly hasn't offered me any input on my college plans.
Mayor Forbes shrugs and says, "Not lately, I suppose."Yeah, that sounds about right.
He brings up our country club's father-daughter dance, which is coming up in a little over a month. He'll bring Lacey, of course, but my father hasn't bothered to take me since I was thirteen. This year it falls on one of the weekends he's out of town anyway, so he doesn't have to make up an excuse for us not attending, and I can pretend he'd take me if he could.
I'm stunned when Mayor Forbes glances at his wife, who smiles her reassurance, and he asks me if I'd accompany him and Lacey. He knows my dad will be unavailable and would be honored to stand in, so he says. I peek over at Robin who starts rubbing his hand up and down my back. This was obviously discussed by the whole family, and honestly, I'm touched. But for the past three years, when half the town was at this event, Cam and I have forged our own little tradition. We go down to the lake and he reads me some of his newest short stories. It's not a plan I want to break, not when so much has changed this year. And after last night, I'm still feeling so conflicted about everything. I tell them I'll discuss it with my parents, but I worry that Mayor Forbes will just go straight to my dad, who will be relieved to have the chance to both avoid me and please his friend.
Mayor and Cindy Forbes will be taking a trip to New York the first weekend in February, and Robin tells them he's going to have a bunch of friends over to watch the Superbowl. He doesn't ask, he just lets them know he'll be throwing a party in their house. His parents lament over what a great idea it is. Then Mayor Forbes launches into the story about how he first fell for Cindy at a Superbowl party.
"She was Cindy Parker back then. I'd known her, of course - it's Linton, everyone knows everyone. But she was just a freshman and I was a junior and, you know, it was high school. I'd had a girlfriend the first two years - nothin' really serious, but it ended the summer before. My Cindy was just as beautiful then as she is now. Long blonde hair, bright green eyes... My buddy Teddy - you're dad knew him too, Rory - he moved away years ago, anyway, he'd invited her because he was hopin' to put the moves on her. That's the only reason she was a freshman at a senior's party." Mayor Forbes and his wife laugh and Robin and Lacey groan. I smile. I've never heard them talk about when they were kids.
"It was like magic, I swear - I give her one glance and I'm hooked. No way was I gonna let the prettiest girl in town end up with someone else, especially not Teddy Smith. So I just walked over to her and started talkin' and we talked all night - through the whole game. My box won in the pool and I didn't even know until the next day. She was my girl after that. I proposed right after her graduation and we were married before she started at Gainesville."
"How did you know?" I blurt. "I mean, that she was the one?"
Mayor Forbes grins widely. Under the table, Robin laces his fingers through mine.
"You know, I just looked at her that night, and I knew I couldn't let Teddy get near her. He was a bit of a dog, that one. And then after spendin' the night talkin' to her... I was already in love. I just knew I'd never want another girl, and I'd never stand it if she dated anyone else. We called itgoin' steadyback then, and I asked her right that night." They both chuckle. It's a happy memory and sweet story.
Robin lifts our linked hands from under the tablecloth and kisses the back of my hand. It doesn't go unnoticed by his family. I think I even hear his mother sigh.
****
Robin and I go for a walk around their property after breakfast. I'm still reeling from the events of the last twenty four hours, and I wish I had my jeep with me so I could get away and clear my head. Maybe go home, or to Cam's. But I could never talk about last night with Cam. Not ever.
Before Robin, there wasn't a single thing I couldn't talk over with my best friend. Now I feel more on my own than I have in my life. Making love for the first time should have made Robin and me more connected than ever, but I couldn't possibly feel more alone.
I think of all the things I could have done differently. If I hadn't forgotten my shorts, if I'd fought harder, or hadn't fought at all. If I'd been dressing like I used to - in jeans instead of that short sundress that Robin called sexy - that probably didn't help keep him from getting too worked up. From losing control. That first time he touched me in his car, and I smacked him, he told me if I didn't want it then I wouldn't have worn such a short skirt. I've been wearing skirts and dresses all year. From the red dress I wore on our first date to my cheerleading uniform I've worn to school every Friday during football season, and will have to wear again on game days once basketball season starts. I wonder if that's what people think of me now - that I want it. Sex.
God, even Chip, my friend since little league, put his hand on my knee and made suggestive comments - something he never would have done before - all because of that damned skirt.
"You're awful quiet, sweetheart," Robin murmurs.
"Just thinkin'," I reply.
