"I had no idea you'd ever imagined it at all," I admit.
Cam grins. "Only every five minutes since we were like twelve," he replies. "And that ain't all, either." He raises his eyebrows suggestively, and instead of laughing, I feel my pulse quicken.
"No?" I ask, willing him to elaborate.
"No," he mouths.
Cam stands abruptly, walks over to his dresser, and takes out his Linton football tee shirt with his last name and his number, twenty two, on the back. He slips it carefully over my head and I push both arms through the sleeves as Cam arranges it to cover my waist and hips,then gingerly reaches under the hem for my sweatpants,carefully tugging them over my hips, and I lift my backside to help him get them down.
Cam stares at me meaningfully, his eyes shining with a new kind of affection, one he's never openly shown me before. "We're gonna get you all better, Ror. We're gonna deal with Forbes. And then, when the time is right, I'm gonna show you how it's supposed to be when you have a boyfriend. How a man is supposed to treat the girl he loves, okay?"
My throat is completely dry, I can't speak, so I nod my eager agreement instead. I wonder how long it will be before Cam decides the time is right. I also wonder what exactly he means about dealing with Robin. But I don't want to think about that. I only want to think about the rest of it, because the idea of having Cam be my boyfriend, it's strangely both thrilling and calming. Like it was always supposed to be this way.
"When's he supposed to get back?" Cam asks.
I hesitate, an instantaneous battle waging internally. But the need to keep Cam with me, from going after Robin and likely getting arrested, wins out.
"Tomorrow night," I mutter, not meeting his eyes, forcibly resisting the urge bite my lip. I tell myself it isn't really a lie. Robin issupposedto get back tomorrow night, he just happened to have come back early. I tell myself that this little semi-fib will give me time to figure out what to do. I know I have to do something, butwhat? File a police report?
Cam takes my hand. "And your parents?" he asks.
"Same." They willactuallybe returning tomorrow evening, and since the storm is expected to rage on until the afternoon, they will probably be back late.
"You have to tell your daddy, you know that, right?" Cam asks meaningfully.
I look down. "It won't-"
"Ror, he's the DA. If we go straight to the police it's gonna be passed on to him anyway. I know how hard it is on you, I really do, but I'll be with you the whole time, okay?
"Tomorrow I'm gonna go see Forbes -alone -and then we're gonna tell your daddy what he did. He's never gonna hurt you again, I swear to fuckin' God, you hear me?"
Cam's being so supportive, of course he is. He's always been here for me, my whole life, no matter what. But in this case, I don't think his support will be enough. And I can't let him go "see" Robin - I know what that means. But I have all day to prevent that confrontation from taking place, and right now I need Cam to help me figure out how, because obviously my father isn't going to be any help. Not for me, anyway.
"You don't understand," I breathe, pausing to swipe at my tears with the back of my hand. "My daddy, he's not... we gotta figure somethin' else out, okay?"
Cam lifts my chin so our gazes lock. He doesn't say anything - we are having another one of our silent exchanges. He's asking me what I'm holding back and I'm telling him it hurts to say. He doesn't relent, and I know I have to tell him why going to my father isn't an option.
"Look, he's not gonna help me. I already tried, okay?"
Cam narrows his eyes, but doesn't release my chin. "What do you mean?" he asks carefully. I know he's going to get angry all over again, and I question why I'm holding back my own anger. My own father betrayed me, I know it, and yet, every time I think about it, his words haunt me all over again, and I question, for the millionth time, how much of this I actually brought on myself.1
"I tried to tell him. No, Ididtell him. I didn't wanna go with Robin this weekend, but my daddy thought it'd be a good idea to tour the campus since I'd be going there next year. That I had to if I wanted things to work out with Robin. I told him it wasn't what I wanted anyway. But he said that there was somethin' wrong with me, that I was lucky Robin chose me and... I panicked, and I told him! I told him Robin hurt me, that he forced me.
"But Daddy got mad. He said I was mistaken, that Robin could have anyone he wanted and I was just a small town girl - a dime a dozen. He said Robin would never have to make anyone do anything. And I know that, IknowRobin could have anyone, but hedid, he made me!"
I sniffle and reach over to Cam's nightstand for a tissue to wipe my nose. I feel so defeated. "He said if Robin did that then it was my fault - that I asked for it by the way I've been dressin’. That Robin misunderstood because he'd never do that to me if he didn't think I wanted him to - because he loved me. He said not to fuck that up."
Cam is silent for minutes. When he finally speaks, his voice is a low rumble, weighed down by a calm fury. "Well, shit. I always knew your dad was a dick, but...shit." He wraps his arms around me, tucking my head under his chin, and in his embrace, I can finally think straight.
I let out an short laugh. "Yeah, he is," I agree.
"When was all this?" Cam asks.
"Monday."
I feel Cam tremble with rage, but he holds it in, and his arms hold me tight. "Then what happened yesterday was his fault as much as Forbes's." He huffs a deep breath. "I'll never understand why you didn't come to me, Rory girl," he says shakily, so softly I'm not sure if it was meant for me or himself, and before I can even open my mouth to tell him I never will either, he continues. "I don't know yet how we're gonna handle him, Ror, but he doesn't deserve to be a daddy. Definitely notyourdaddy, and I ain't gonna let him get away with this, I swear it."
I nod against Cam's chest. I can't argue with him, because he's right. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, telling my daddy what Robin's been doing, and he rejected it - he rejectedme. And both times it's happened since then, including yesterday, is on his shoulders. He was supposed to protect me. I know that. And right now, I realize how much I hate my father. He doesn't deserve my forgiveness. I grip Cam so tight my bruises smart, but I need him. He's all I have in the world.
