She finally lifted her head. He bore an expression of remorse deeply felt. Amaris twiddled her thumbs, digging the blood and dirt from her nails. She’d spent so much of the last year of her life being angry. It was exhausting, but she didn’t know how to act anymore. Her first instinct was to defend.
She forced herself to sit in one of the chairs across from him. He’d saved her twice. He’d stepped between Bennet and her, and he took her lashings. What could she say to him?
“But I’m truly sorry for how I handled this morning,” he said, playing with a stray strand of the blanket. “It was reckless.”
“I’m not a stranger to recklessness.” She kicked off her boots and curled her legs onto the chair. After several moments of his breaths being the only thing filling the silence, she whispered, “Thank you, by the way. Esaias told me you took my punishment. You didn’t have to do that.”
“You didn’t deserve it.” His voice was low, angry.
“But it wasn’t because of the scrying fever. It’s because I tried to escape, wasn’t it?”
He didn’t respond. “Tell me something,” he said, his muscles slackening as the stern tone faded from his voice.
“Like what?”
“Anything. What did your days look like before?”
She grasped tightly around her legs. “Not that interesting. In fact, compared to everything that’s happened today alone, you’d find my daily life to be completely and utterly boring.” She dropped her head to her knees.
“Sometimes a boring life is not the worst thing to have.” His eyes softened. “I could go the rest of my life without another war.”
“Could it happen again?”
“I pray to the gods there won’t be another one in my lifetime. My father sent me and several of his other soldiers to aid in the war efforts.” His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “When I returned, it seemed all of Luana heard of my war stories, a warrior against the fight in Mosfelkov is what they would whisper.” His eyes tracked Amaris as she dragged the sleeve of her shirt over her hand.
“After the war was over, I returned to Soyenia to oversee the disbursement of troops, which took a season to accomplish. The worstpart was, Esaias had been sent home, and I was forced to remain in the unfortunate company of some of the king’s men. Thankfully, Gris was by my side, but the captain of the Royal Guard is a real piece of work.”
“I take it you two never became friends.” Amaris rubbed at her wound through her sleeve.
“Gris and I stayed no longer than was required of us, if that tells you anything. That was the last several years of my unfortunately exciting life. Now, tell me about your boring one.”
“Why did you step in?” she asked, gripping her thighs tighter to her chest.
“You’re evading my question.”
“Answer mine, and I’ll tell you one thing about me.”
“Even after I already revealed something of my own?”
Amaris squinted her eyes. “Humor me.”
He dropped his head back to the cot, shifting his gaze to the fire. The pops and crackles were the only thing she could hear besides his slow and steady breaths.
“I’m a soldier,” he answered.
“My best friend’s name is Viv.”
“Tell me about her.”
“Viv? She’s the fiercest woman I know. She reminds me a lot of Adelaide, only Viv is probably twice the size of her in muscle.” A smile spread across her lips as she recalled how she’d dropped Amaris’s boot at her feet after the fire. Viv had practically hurled her from that bedroom. “She’s never afraid to tell me when I’m wrong or to speak her mind. I miss her. She’s one of the few people I have left.”
“What do you mean?”
Amaris forced back the tears. “My parents,” she breathed. “When I was eight, we went for a lunch on the water. A storm came out of nowhere.”
The night flooded behind her eyes. Lighting arced through the sky; the wind blistered her cheeks. “Amaris, don’t let go, alright, honey?” Her father stashed her in the stairs leading below deck and guided her hands tothe railing. He assessed the security of her life jacket before running to her mother’s side where she worked the ropes, straining to keep the mast from being sucked into the wind. They tried lowering the sail, but the winds came quick and were too strong.
Thunder boomed overhead with another flash of lighting, sending Amaris screaming, “Mommy!”
