“How was work?” She gripped her beer tight to keep her hands from shaking.
“Shitty,” he uttered, swirling the scotch in the bottom of his glass. “You didn’t call me about that fire you had.” He set the glass on the counter with a deafening ring.
She lifted her gaze, her heart torn. Part of her wanted to melt at the sight of him, and the other wanted to cower and lock herself in the bathroom. He looked the same as when he’d dropped on one knee with his denim jeans, black baggy shirt, and a backward baseball cap. It was the same one she’d given him when they’d first started dating.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” she said, fixing her attention to thesweat dripping down her beer. “I did my job.”
“You almost got yourself killed.” He gripped the counter, his power and strength building beneath.
“I’m fine.”
“But I’m not,” he began. “Why did I have to hear about your reckless stunt from one of your captains?”
“It wasn’t reckless,” she said under her breath.
“What was that?” he growled, releasing the tension he held on the counter and turning to her. He leaned in, his scotch breath drowning her senses like her head was being run under a garden hose.
“Nothing,” she choked, fighting the lump in her throat.
“Why do you do this to me?”
“It’s my job.” Taking note of her sudden rise in volume, she bit her tongue. If things were ever going to change, she couldn’t feed into his anger and retaliate with her own.
“Your job?” he shouted. “Your job is to keep yourself and your crew safe.”
“Don’t bring Charlie into this,” she demanded.
“Why? You didn’t care when you dragged him along in that fire.”
Amaris set her beer on the counter and gripped the outer edges of her arms. “Derek, stop it.”
“No. Why did you hide this from me? Is it because you knew what you did was stupid and careless?”
“Why does everyone keep berating me? I gave them a chance,” she choked. “When I took my oath to serve and protect, I knew it meant putting my life on the line. That’s what I did, and I’ll gladly do it again.”
Jumping from the counter, she stomped out of the kitchen before her meltdown could consume her. She ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. The cool water from the faucet drew a breath from her as she splashed it against her flushed cheeks.
Why can’t anyone understand me?She took a handful to fill her mouth, swallowing everything she wanted to say to him, to everyone.
“Amaris, open the door.”
Gripping the edges of the sink, she let out a frustrated grunt to keep him from hearing a scream. Her throat ached as it ripped through her, one of anger and torment, one coming from the burning within. The reflection she saw in the mirror was of a coward. A woman afraid of herself and her life. A woman who had allowed everything to spiral into a pit of darkness. She punched the image glaring back at her.
Pulsing pain surged through her knuckles. She pulled her balled fist instantly to her chest, gaping at the shards of the mirror embedded in her skin and the bones along her hand shooting with pain.What’s wrong with me?
The door rattled. “Amaris, what’s going on in there?”
“Nothing,” she shouted back.
“Open the door!”
She tore through the mangled mirror cabinet, but there was nothing. No rubbing alcohol or hydrogen peroxide, not even a fucking bandage. Some paramedic she was. The blood oozed from her cuts, dripping into the porcelain sink. She tried wiggling her fingers, but each movement was excruciating.
Glimpsing at the jagged reflection, she didn’t recognize the woman staring back at her. Her hair fell from its bun, the chocolate waves draping past her shoulders to the middle of her back. She ran her good fingers through it, trying to untangle the knots that had formed throughout the day. It was all she could do, untangle the mess of her life one strand at a time.
When she’d been younger, the top had shone with a golden tint from the constant rays of sunshine on the beach, and the waves would curl from the salt of the water. She wished she could go back, to have her parents there to tell her what to do. But she couldn’t, and now her hair remained its natural dark tint, and the loose waves hung limp.
She pulled her phone out and shot a text to Viv as the key turned in the lock. The door burst open, and the glass crunched under Derek’s shoes.
