Luke’s eyes widened a moment before she realized what she’d said. Genesis clapped both hands over her mouth in a gesture that would’ve probably been comical if she hadn’t been so mortified. Luke took another step back, his face pale.
Genesis extended a hand toward him, not sure what to say. The words had come out so naturally. She could blame Avery’s earlier declaration for putting the idea in her head, but that wasn’t true. If she was being honest with herself, things had stopped being pretend for her a long time ago, if it’d ever even been pretend at all. She didn’t know when real feelings had begun to blossom, but she was in the middle of it now and it was too late to stop it.
“Luke,” she said, stepping toward him. He took another step back and Genesis thought her heart would break.
Without another word, Luke fled, leaving Genesis alone in the cottage. She thought she was used to being alone, but this felt different. This was so much worse.
It took her a long time to compose herself enough to join the others for lunch.
Luke didn’t come.
Chapter nineteen
Luke
Luke avoided Genesis and his packmates as much as possible over the following days. He couldn’t handle Gabe’s probing questions, Lando’s quiet disappointment, or the look on Genesis’s face when he’d backed away from her. And he definitely couldn’t handle what she’d said before that.
Just because this is my first time being in love, it doesn’t mean I don’t understand loss.
When had things gotten so fucking out of hand? He’d thought he had the situation under control. They had one more month of fake courting and then…
What then? Was he going to let her go? Tell his packmates he didn’t want her and try to go back to the way things were before she waltzed into their lives and blew everything all to hell?
Luke didn’t know what he’d planned to do when the contract was up. What he did know was that, despite his best efforts, that bright-eyed omega had been slowly chipping away at hisdefenses. He’d tried to keep her at arm’s length, but she had a way of drawing him out, getting under his skin.
More and more often, Luke had caught himself smiling. When he was with Genesis, he sometimes forgot that he didn’t deserve a new omega. It was too easy to relax around her, to let down his guard and enjoy himself too much. The pretend courting shit made it even easier. His packmates seemed to be with her constantly, and he couldn’t resist joining them more often than he’d intended.
And the fucking sex was unbelievable. The first time Luke knotted her, he’d felt a satisfaction and peace so complete that it’d nearly brought him to tears. He’d settled on top of her with his face in her neck just breathing her in and enjoying the residual fluttering of her pussy around his softening knot and all the noise in his head had gone silent. It’d been perfect.
Luke had avoided her for two days afterward, only joining the pack for dinner and maintaining a surly silence throughout the meal. Nobody commented on his absence, but Genesis had studied him with those big doe eyes that saw far too much. On the third day, he’d showed up at the cottage before breakfast and eaten her pussy until she couldn’t stand anymore.
His therapist, Dr. Dashwood, had been stern when Luke told her about his behavior. “Luke, you have to stop punishing yourself. You don’t even know why you’re doing it anymore.”
“I’m not–I do know–it’s just,” Luke had spluttered before scowling and crossing his arms. His therapist was not impressed, having seen the same grumpy stance hundreds of times over the past decade. “I’m just not ready.”
“Bullshit,” Dr. Dashwood replied, pursing her lips. The grandmotherly beta often surprised him with blunt honesty when she felt like he needed it. “You have toremindyourself to feel guilty because this budding courtship is actually healthy and happening at the right time. Don’t be a damn fool andself-sabotage something wonderful that you’ve earned. You’ve suffered enough. You deserve to be happy, Luke Wyatt. You have to start believing that.”
Luke had stubbornly tried to ignore the advice, venting his frustration by rising early and doing as much back-breaking labor as he could manage by sundown. He fell into bed at night exhausted, but sleep didn’t come quickly. Instead, he tossed and turned, thoughts of Genesis keeping him awake until he finally fell into a fitful sleep only to wake up a few hours later and start the whole routine again.
Three days after she’d said she was in love, Genesis found him in the barn examining his rope kit. It had been many years since Luke had indulged in rope play, but he still kept his kit pristine, replacing or mending frayed ropes, oiling them, and trying out new materials. The meticulous practice usually soothed him and helped calm his mind. It wasn’t helping now.
Luke ignored the omega but couldn’t help being acutely aware of her presence. Her sweet scent somehow overpowered the smell of animals and manure and hay, beckoning him. It took all of his energy to resist that pull. It was like she had one of his ropes, and each day it grew tauter, attempting to bind them.
“How long are you going to avoid me?” she asked, making Luke jump. She was closer than he’d thought, having drawn nearer while his back was turned. “Until the contract is up? Forever?”
Luke brushed past her to grab a towel, relishing the brief contact even as he kept his face carefully blank. Truthfully, he was long finished with the day’s chores. He’d even sent several farmhands home early, just so he could do their jobs and stay far away from the cottage.
“Takes a lot of work to keep this place running,” Luke replied curtly, still not looking at Genesis as he returned to his seat. He couldn’t. If he did, he knew his resolve would weaken, and hecouldn’t have that. He needed to keep her safe, and that meant far away from him.
“Don’t bullshit me, Luke Wyatt,” Genesis snapped, using his full name in an infuriating way she had undoubtedly picked up from Lando. “We both know you’re avoiding me, and we all know why, so let’s be adults and talk about it.”
Luke gritted his teeth. It was annoying how goddamn reasonable and persistent she was. Maybe it was her age or her profession, but either way it was a problem. He’d hoped she’d be hurt or pissed enough to stay away and wait for him to come apologize. Or maybe to just decide he was too much to deal with and leave. That would’ve been the best outcome.
Liar, a little voice whispered in the back of Luke’s mind.Coward.
“So, talk,” Luke growled, still not looking up from the length of hemp he’d been inspecting. “If I had something to say I would’ve said it. You obviously have a bee in your bonnet so speak your piece.”
Genesis made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat and Luke didn’t have to look at her to know she was glaring at him, probably with that sexy, defiant glint in her big anime eyes. She stepped closer to stool where he sat, her scent wrapping around him like a python. Luke concentrated on keeping his breathing steady.
