When he was done, and I was clean, he pushed me back on the bed, sliding next to me until we touched from shoulder to hip.
“What am I going to do with you, if you insist on throwing yourself into danger?” Tallu asked.
“Love me half as much as I love you,” I said. “You will love me because there’s nothing I want more than for us to live happily.”
Tallu bent his head, kissing my braids, the light from them reflecting on his face, making him gleam and glow. “I love you so much that I would not wish you to do this. My life is not worth yours. Not to me.”
“Well, it is to me. So we are at an impasse, and we can either enjoy a night of peace before we achieve our goal, or we can continue arguing about which of us would prefer to fall upon a sword that no one is holding.” I framed Tallu’s face with my hands. He closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against mine.
“Lord Chaliko said tomorrow we will know where Namati is,” I said. “What will we do then?”
“I am not sure. It was the conceit for arriving here, so we couldn’tnotask for him,” Tallu said. “But he is not our true goal.”
“Lady Chaliko said Spider will come to us. And when she does, we can demand your freedom and then leave.” I could see the future. It would happen. “And leave the Imperium to its war.”
“I do not think it will be much of a war. If Bemishu cares so little for the rest of the Imperium, Kacha will leave him to the Ariphadeus.” Tallu leaned to the side, and I stroked a hand downhis face. “Kacha will conquer what he can, and most of the lords we left in power will stand against him, but once it becomes clear I disappeared in Tavornai, some will come over to his side.”
“Is that our plan, then? Just abandon the imperial people to Kacha and flee in the night?” I asked. I couldn’t help but think of the charred forest and the people so desperate for Tallu to save them. The soldiers who had died for us deserved better.
But what did better mean? Did it mean Tallu fought for the throne? And what if hewon?
“Now is the best time to escape. There are so few with us,” Tallu spoke as a breath of air, barely more than a whisper. “We could disappear here once free of the fate my father wove for me and Hallu. Take those who should come with us and no one else would ever know what happened to me.”
“And leave Kacha to sit on the Imperium’s throne?” I asked. “On the charred bones of the One Dragon?”
“Perhaps,” Tallu said. He looked pained. “It is not the end I would wish for, but we have no forces to fight him.”
“You do not think Namati will lend his aid?” I asked.
“I think Namati cares only to conquer Tavornai and subjugate the pirates he has pursued since he enlisted,” Tallu said. “I cannot see a way through.”
“We could fight Kacha,” I said.
“I have spent my life on this task,” Tallu said. “I will not spend yours. Not when you are so quick to give it up for me.”
I could not look away from his sharp gaze, the intensity of his russet eyes. “Tallu?—”
“No. If he threatened you, I would burn his life from his body, but we have a chance to run. I have a chance to spend the rest of my life on you rather than on death.” Tallu ran his fingers over my braids. “Let me treasure you as you deserve.”
I had no answer for him, because I wasn’t sure I wanted to take away the hope he held in his gaze.
Eventually we fell asleep. My dreams were confusing. In someof them, I was back in the strange room, only it wasn’t Riini with me. Instead, something massive and dark whispered into my ear.
The voice apologized, begging my forgiveness for something I hadn’t been sure they had done.
In another dream, I was reaching for the threads that had long since disappeared from my mind, trying to remember memories I had given up hours earlier. In those dreams, Iradîo looked at me with pity. “You shouldn’t have given them up if you cared about them so deeply.”
I woke, hot and sweaty, the glow gone from my skin and hair. Tallu lay next to me, and I could smell the blood on his breath, feel the weakness as he gasped in his sleep.
It was only when he was relaxed and open like this that I could see how much the illness was eating at him, how much he had already lost to it. There was a soft tap on the door, and Tallu sat up immediately, drawing his hand over his face. He shook his head.
The door cracked open, a servant’s rough whisper coming through the narrow opening, “Your Imperial Majesty?”
“Enter,” Tallu called out.
“I apologize, Your Imperial Majesty.” The servant stepped through the door, bowing as low as physically possible, their fingers forming a perfect triangle. “Lord Chaliko wanted to inform you that someone has arrived and is willing to speak with you about the location of the traitor Namati.”
Tallu frowned, glancing at me, and I frowned, considering what we already knew. Lady Chaliko had said Spider would find us as soon as the elder tree regrew, but other than the forest dragon no one had been there when Riini and I finished our task.
