“It ismylife. It is mine to risk,” I said, but the words felt false. The entire conversation felt unreal. Was he really angry at me for protecting him?
“Leave,” Tallu demanded.
I startled, taking a step back into a defensive stance. He had just ordered me to leave with the same disdain he used when ordering around servants and courtiers, his tone saying that he was emperor and they werelesser than.
Then Tallu turned his head, more clearly directing his words to Sagam. “Leave. Take your Dogs and leave. I would not have this conversation in front of them.”
“Your Imperial Majesty.” Sagam bowed low, then reached up and removed his mask, changing from a Dog to a Kennelmaster. “We cannot. Too many of your court feel threatened by you tonight. There is too much of a risk on your life if we leave you alone.”
In his eyes was a silent plea. He could not act as Kennelmaster if Tallu did not listen to him when he spoke. Tallu’s jaw clenched, his russet eyes flashing with lightning, and I knew that he was about to undermine Sagam at the worst possible moment.
“The bedroom,” I said, my voice trying for calm, only it made Tallu turn his anger on me, eyes narrowing. “Sagam, you can stay out here, guard the windows and the doors. The window in the bedroom is too small for anyone to crawl into. I doubt any of the lords His Imperial Majesty threatened today have assassins the size of a house cat. Would that suffice?”
Sagam nodded tightly, and Tallu rose, his robes trailing behind him as he stalked into the bedroom. For a moment, I thought he was going to slam the door in my face, but instead he was waiting, standing near the bed when I followed him, shutting the door behind myself.
We stood, frozen and staring at each other. The bed was massive, and Tallu’s servants had already arranged it to his preferences—tall pillows and heavy curtains that would block out the light. He was still glaring at me.
Whatever this was, it wasn’t for show. It wasn’t for the guards he had dismissed or the Dogs we had left in the next room.
“What is it?” I hissed, keeping my voice low enough that it couldn’t be heard through the heavy wooden door.
“You went off into the woods without telling me. You could havedied.” Tallu’s voice was equally low, but instead of being calm, it was as if rage had been given sound, anger so thick it turned his words into nearly a growl. “Youmight play with your life, butIdo not have to appreciate your carelessness.”
“Carelessness?” I snapped. “I was keeping yousafe.”
“That’s not your job,” Tallu said. “I have Dogs and an army. There’s no need for you to risk your life pointlessly.”
“If you had sent Dogs, you would have left yourself undefended. If you had sent Saxu’s men, then it wouldn’t have been an assassination. They would have dragged Kacha’s men back here,and Kacha’s men would have received more information about you. They might have even managed to hurt you?—”
“You think so little of my soldiers?” Tallu demanded. “And what if it had been more than a few men? What if Kacha had sent all of the soldiers in the Blood Mountains?”
“Then I would have retreated!” I let my voice get loud, taking a sharp breath and forcing myself back to quiet. “What is thisabout, Tallu? I do not understand why you are so angry. You have seen me take on more than a few startled soldiers.”
“This is about you not telling me your plans. We knew Zolle was going to tell Kacha’s men what happened. We were going to let her. Why did you go off on your own?” Tallu kept his own voice quiet, the forced calm sounding almost insulting.
“Because it was a threat to you. It was a weak link in our plan.” Desperately, I tried to defend myself, even knowing that he was right. “Because I didn’t agree with you.”
“No.” Tallu’s word was final. “You did it because you think I’mweak. Knowing the illness that eats at me, you didn’t think you could come to me and speak honestly. You think I am some child to be cared for, like my brother Hallu. You think I am someone to be managed.”
He fixed his eyes on me, his russet gaze pinning me in place, and I wanted to deny the words, but I could hear the truth in them, too.
“You call me precious, you call me something you want to keep safe. Can’t I feel the same way about you?” I finally took a step forward, trying to close the endless space between us. “Tallu, I cannot save you if I lose you first.”
Tallu’s face showed the first cracks of an emotion that wasn’t anger. I rushed forward, seeing it for what it was. Then we were in each other’s arms, his mouth on mine as he begged me to stay safe.
“What point is there in playing this role, and having an army at my disposal, if you will not allow me to use them?” Tallu asked.
“What point is there in being married to an assassin if all youwant to do is coddle him and have him lie in your bed all day and do nothing but enjoy delicious food?” I pressed a kiss to his lips. “I love you. I will not let anything happen to you.”
Tallu smiled and the expression transformed his face. I pressed kisses up and down his neck, along his jaw. He met me, and soon we found the bed, limbs tangled and desperate.
When we finished, I drew circles on his chest, pausing every few moments to press a hand over his heart. “Does it hurt? The curse from the blood mages?”
“Always,” Tallu said quietly. “It is better when you are with me.”
“We cannot continue wandering around the Imperium, despite the good it has done. Now that Kacha knows where we are, he’s sure to follow us to the next province and the next. We might have to take an alternate route. We can backtrack and go along the Ariphadeus.” I rolled onto my back, staring up at the canopy above us. It had been embroidered with forest animals, a mimicry of what would be found in the province.
“Boats,” Tallu said. “From here, all of the rivers go south. If we choose the right one, we can get as far as the coast or even Tavornai. We need an excuse. So far, this trip has been a method to keep courtiers close to me. It will look like running away if I step onto a boat so quickly after one of Kacha’s loyalists threatened my life.”
