I considered my next words. Tallu was likely confronting Koque now, but Vostop had spent three days with her while Tallu and I had gone to see Saxu. He had to have some idea what his lover was thinking. How would Tallu phrase it?
No, I was northern, and my mother never minced around issues of relationships. Too much trouble, too much chance of being misunderstood.
What would my mother say?
“I thought to offer her some happiness in a marriage with you,” I said. “I am not sure how I offended her so badly.”
Vostop said nothing, one finger absently tracing the delicate stitching of the couch. “Before the emperor offered me herhand, I had asked her to be my queen. She refused to answer me. That was her way of refusing me.”
“Did you enjoy your extra days with her?” I asked.
Vostop had the grace to look down, acknowledging that he had purposefully timed his visit. “I did not mean to fall in love with her.”
“The empress of the country that you were ambassador to? I imagine not.”
“We dwarves can live a long time. Not as long as the elves in Tavornai, but long enough. We learned early on that to love a human or an air mage or even a goblin is sorrow. You may love them with the entirety of your heart, but you must always know that they will die.” Vostop was smiling, the expression changing his face.
“Doesn’t it hurt, then? To love her when you know that she will die before you?” My heart was racing, and I hoped that Vostop’s ears weren’t acute enough to hear it.
“The opposite,” Vostop said. He swallowed. “I love her wit and her eyes, and the way, when she smiles, it seems as though it is just for me. And when she is gone, I will carry those memories with me. Too many of my kind swear off love entirely. Or they love each other briefly, for the span of a human lifetime, until they fall out of love. A long life can be a curse. You have time to love and then begin to hate your lover. It can grow in your heart, a bitterness that affects everything else. Far better to have a moment of fleeting happiness knowing you will give them up than a lifetime of resentment hating your lover.”
“No,” I said. I considered northern winters, locked behind the walls of the Silver City. I thought about all of the couples that my mother counseled or scolded or locked in a room together until they spoke true words to each other. “I cannot imagine loving someone and being willing to give them up. Loving someone despite their flaws is part of the pleasure ofbeing human. You must love who they truly are, not who they remain in your memory, preserved like a flower frozen during an ice snap.”
Vostop looked at me, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “There are times when I listen to you, and you seem very wise, as though you are of an age with me and have experienced life as I have known it. And there are other times when you seem very young.”
I had to laugh, the corners of my lips turning up. “And which of those is this time?”
“You seem very young. And perhaps I am older and more callous than I realized if hearing you say such kind things only makes me hope that you might die before you experience differently.” Vostop paused, his brows twitching into a frown. “I understand that what you were trying to do was a kindness. But I will not take Koque’s hand if she does not wish to give it to me. Krustau will protect itself, and if there is some benefit to us, we will protect the Lakeshore Palace in your stead. I do not claim to understand what is going on in the Imperium, but I am unsure why Emperor Tallu would risk himself traveling away from the protected walls he could live behind.”
“We will need allies if he is going to fight the traitor generals.” Even as I said the words, I realized there was another option. I could leave Tallu here, safe, and travel to Tavornai myself.
“And will he take Koque with him, away from the safety of the Lakeshore Palace? Hallu?” Vostop’s questions were pointed. It was one thing for Tallu to risk his own life, but the life of the empress and his heir?
“I must thank you for your advice and your knowledge, elder,” I said, rising and bowing my head. I couldn’t respond to a question I didn’t have the answer to yet.
Vostop looked around the room, pointedly examining one of the tapestries that covered the Krustavian carvings underneath it. “If there is one thing the Imperium can do, it is survive. They can make anything look like theirs. I do not think your husband has much to worry about if he decides to retake his empire.”
I nodded again, heading to the door to see if Tallu had been able to find out why Koque was resistant to marriage. Before my hand touched the handle, Vostop said, “If that is his goal.”
I didn’t acknowledge his words, wondering how many others suspected Tallu wanted something other than his father’s empire.
Four
Dinner was an awkward affair. Vostop, Commander Rede, and I managed to limp toward a conversation, discussing, alternately, the weather, the hunting, how far into the mountain range the dwarves would have to travel to find another mountain that could sustain them, how many of the mountains were occupied by existing villages, and how many could bemadehabitable.
I almost envied the new king the straightforwardness of his task. Many of the mountains in Krustau already had small villages. Nothing as large as Mountain Thrown City had been, but there were farms scattered throughout the range and several mountains that it would take only a few months to dig homes into.
Topi and Pito Bemishu added little to the conversation, but their interjections were a welcome relief to Tallu and Koque’s pointed silence. The twins had kept quiet so far, and I had watched them training with the Kennelmaster. They would never be as lethal as the Emperor’s Dogs who guarded Tallu, but he rounded out their self-taught education in information-gathering and spycraft.
After dinner, I approached Empress Koque. CommanderRede eyed us but stood to speak with Tallu now that he had the possibility of a private conversation.
“Empress,” I said quietly. “With the approach of Saxu and his men, I hoped to ask for some advice.”
Her lips pinched, just slightly, but I had been in the Imperium long enough to watch for such tells that were there and then gone again too quickly.
“I am more than happy to advise you, Consort Airón, however I must check on my son.” She bowed to me, low enough to be respectful, but not low enough to indicate a difference in our position.
When she turned, I took two steps so that we were walking alongside each other, the stone floors echoing our footsteps as we approached the quarters that she and Prince Hallu had taken over. “Is the prince well, empress?”
