“The point is that we can’t choose everything in this life. Most of the time, we do as we must, as we are told we should. And all we are able to do, in the end, is accept what we are given and try to make the best of it. I hated how my father treated me, but I do not hate him. Not as I used to.”
“Even though he was mean to you?”
“I pity him,” Alistair said, realizing that it was true. “I pity that he was not able to see what he had, that he could not take somejoy in fatherhood. And if he were here today, I like to think that I would have it in me to forgive him.” Surprisingly, a smile found Alistair’s lips as he considered that, and if it was true. “He was a cruel man, but he was my father, and this…” He gestured across the lake. “All of this, all I have, is thanks to him.”
Hugh said nothing, which Alistair was glad for. He just frowned at Alistair, no idea what the point was of this story, or why Alistair was telling him.
“Hugh…” Alistair sighed deeply. “There is something I need to tell you. I just ask that when I do, that you… that you understand that what I did, I thought it was for the best. Even if it might not seem that way.”
Again, Hugh said nothing. He just looked at Alistair in wait.
“It brings me no pleasure to say this…” Alistair’s shoulders slumped. “But everything that you think you know about… well, about everything. It is a lie.” He forced himself to meet his brother’s eyes. “You are not my son, Hugh.”
Hugh blinked and leaned back. “I’m… I don’t… but I am your son.” His expression grew determined. “You… the vicar… you said –”
“We lied,” Alistair said with a grimace. “We lied because we thought it would be best for you. We wanted to protect you from the truth. Done for the right reasons, even if the result is far from ideal.”
Hugh’s brow furrowed. He shied away, bit into his lip, and Alistair could see the question forming, even if he was too scared to ask it.
“You wish to know who you really are?”
Hugh nodded.
“You are not my son,” he said again. “Rather…” Alistair smiled this time. “Rather, you are my father’s son. He had an affair with your mother, and when she fell pregnant…” He shrugged. “I guess he chose to have nothing to do with you. I cannot say for sure, because I did not know you existed until a few months ago.”
“Your… my father…” Hugh looked bewildered.
“You are my brother, Hugh.” Feeling the moment, Alistair rested a hand on Hugh’s shoulder, and he was relieved that Hugh did not pull away. “My half-brother, technically, but that matters not. You are my blood, and you will always be that.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I did it to protect you…” Alistair winced because the lie felt wrong to speak. He then bowed his head, finally willing to admit the truth. “No, that is not… I did it to protect myself, Hugh,” he admitted. “I feared what people would say if they learned of my father’s… our father’s infidelity. It was easier to say you were mine, saving his name from being dragged through thedirt. I thought it best to save my own skin while hoping it would dissuade any further questions.” He scoffed. “I lied to everyone, you especially. And while I do not expect you to forgive me, I only ask that you understand why I did it.”
“Your… you and me…” There was a tinge of hope in his voice. “We’re brothers?”
“We are.” Alistair smiled, and it grew when he saw the look of adoration in Hugh’s eyes. He wasn’t upset. He wasn’t ashamed. If anything, he looked proud, even excited. “Half-brothers, but that is irrelevant. We share the same father, we share the same blood, and that makes us one.”
Hugh nodded along. “I always wanted a brother.”
Alistair sputtered an awkward laugh of relief. “Me too.”
“Does this mean…” His expression turned severe. “That I can’t stay with you –”
“No, not at all,” Alistair cut him off, squeezing his shoulder and looking at him as he did. “And you must know, it is imperative that people continue to think you are my son, Hugh. That way, you are entitled to everything I own. That is why I lied.”
Hugh frowned. “But don’t you want a son of your own?”
Alistair opened his mouth to tell him no, that he wanted no such thing. But he could not bring himself to say the words… anotherlie, he came to realize in that moment. Where Alistair had never wanted a child of his own before, what he had with Hugh had made him realize that such a thing was nowhere near as awful as he always imagined.
And my father too… while I hate what he did, a part of me understands now. He shirked his responsibility, resenting what was forced on him. But I am not my father… nor is Hugh, for that matter.
“One day, maybe.” The words sounded better than Alistair ever dreamed, and he felt a flutter in his heart. “But do not worry about that.” He squeezed Hugh’s shoulder again as he looked at him. “You will always be my son legally, and that will not change.”
“But…” Hugh considered his next words. “I… I like the idea of being your brother. I want to be your brother.”
Alistair nearly burst into tears. His chin began to tremble. His eyes welled. Taken by the moment, he pulled his half-brother into his arms and hugged him tight, and he almost wept again when Hugh didn’t pull away.
“Me too,” Alistair said. “Brothers. It has a nice sound to it.”
