As if things are not confusing enough…
“Is something the matter?” Lady Emily asked, able to sense the turmoil that had taken Alistair.
“What?” he said and looked ahead as if she might be able to read his mind through his eyes. “No, nothing at all.”
“Your Grace…” She gently peeled her hand free. “Might I speak honestly?”
“Of course.”
“Firstly, I wish to say how much I have enjoyed spending time with you. Just as I have enjoyed our courtship. In truth, it has surprised me in many ways.”
“It has?” He frowned.
“When we first met, I did not think for a moment that we might get along as well as we have.” She laughed. “Indeed, many of my friends warned me against you.”
“Is that right?” He laughed too. “And what did they say?”
“That you were not the marrying type. That you are isolated, one who prefers his own company, and that I am the last woman you would ever wish to waste your time on. Or any woman, for that matter.”
He scoffed. “I hope you have since corrected this opinion.”
“And should I?” She turned to look at him, her eyebrow raised, a questioning look on her face. “Forgive me, Your Grace, but after having spent so much time together, do you know what I have come to realize about you? And about us, for that matter.”
Alistair hesitated. “Tell me…”
“That you do not harbor feelings of romance for me. Not one little bit.”
Alistair balked. He went to argue, his tongue swelled in his mouth, he coughed through a response that never eventuated, and then he looked away with shame.
“There is no need to deny it,” she assured him, at which point she took his hand again. “Because I feel the same way.”
Alistair started in surprise. “You… you do?”
Her smile was honest and warm, no disappointment, no hate. If anything, she almost appeared amused. “I am not such a fool that I don’t know what love is. And while I love spending time with you, I know that I am not in love with you.”
“Lady Emily…” He had no idea what to say.
“Just as you are not in love with me either,” she continued. “What I feel with you, I have come to decide, is friendship. We get along so well. We laugh, we joke, we are comfortable in ways that I am not with even my closest friends. But love?” She laughed. “Sadly, that is one thing that I do not feel.”
Alistair’s heart raced as if he was nervous… even terrified of where this conversation had come from, and where it was sure to go. But he realized quickly that nerves and terror were not the cause. Rather, it was relief. And when he looked at Lady Emily,confirming that she was not upset with him, that relief washed over him like a wave of fresh air.
“I do not know what to say,” he admitted, while trying his best to hide his smile.
“What is there to say?” she said simply. “Other than what I just have. I thought it best to get it out of the way now, rather than dance around the subject all evening and beyond.”
“I am sorry, Lady Emily, I did not mean to waste your time.”
“And who said that you did?” She firmed up as she continued to look at him. “In fact, just because we do not love one another does not mean we should not be together. I have been doing some thinking, and like you, I too desire to marry soon. My father wants it, and if not with you, it will be with someone who he chooses. Likely, it will be someone who I loathe because my father will pick for me a man based on statues rather than compatibility.”
“Are you saying…” His mouth ran dry. “That you wish to marry me? Even if we are just friends? What is the term for that…”
“A marriage of convenience,” she said.
“That’s the one.”
“Would that be such a bad thing? We get along so well. Marriage is rarely done for love or romance, even at the best of times. So, why not marry a friend? Why not save one another, if we can?”
Alistair had no idea what to say… or what to think.
