Oh, Sam, she thought in weary sadness. I wish I could sayI didn’t understand.
Outside, a match flared in the darkness over by the oldoak. Tony was walking late tonight. For just that brief moment, Claire could see the outline of his features, sharp andstrong and deceptively easy. No one who saw that face would think that that man was such a bulldog. No onewould suspect the depth of his strength, the extent of hiscompassion.
No one would know about those dimples he hid away beneath that mustache of his.
How do you feel, Claire? she asked herself, imagining hisfeatures after the light went out, tracking his progress whenshe knew he couldn’t see her.
She felt impatient. Tentative. Raw as a burn. She wantedto run down those steps like the girl she’d once been andpreen for him. She wanted to incite those dimples and make his eyes dance with laughter. She wanted to test the strengthof those magnificent arms and savor the unexpected shivers of attraction.
She wanted to run as far away from him as she could.
He was going to hurt her. He was going to set loose thesame demons that had shattered Sam, and she couldn’t letthat happen. She couldn’t let him endanger her children.
But he would. He already was. She’d forgotten Johnny’s birthday, and she’d never done that in her life. She’d neveronce lost a second of her children’s time, because it was all she had. It was the only thing she’d done right.
And now he was here, and she’d forgotten.
She should have walked down there and told him to gohome. She got up instead and sneaked in to check on herchildren. Resettled their covers, just as she’d done everynight they’d been alive, and kissed them in their sleep.Promised them in silence that she’d always be there for themand prayed they’d always be hers. And then she came backto sit at her window until the sun pearled the eastern sky andset the birds to chattering, and she just watched as Tonysettled against the trunk of the tree and slept.
“Are you sure you’re okay to drive?” she asked a fewhours later.
Tony looked over from where he was buckling his seat beltand smiled. “I promise, Officer. I haven’t touched a drop.”
“You haven’t slept, either.”
“Sure, I did. It was great.”
“It was hot, humid, and there were ants crawling onyou.”
His smile became an impish grin. “I didn’t know youcared.”
“I do if you’re planning on driving the Chesapeake Bay Bridge.”
“May I remind you that if you saw me sleeping with ants,then you must have still been awake, which means I hadmore sleep than you?”
Claire scowled with every inch of outrage she had left inher weary body. She had just caught sight of Jess, who haddug into her closet for her only nonblack attire in honor ofthis, her first family picnic. Clad in denim shorts and abright apple green top, she was giggling and dancing aroundthe back of the restaurant as if she were off to a parade.
She hadn’t stopped talking about this field trip sinceClaire had made the mistake of telling her about it. Johnny,on the other hand, hadn’t said a word. He still didn’t as he accepted a heavy basket and several admonitions fromPeaches that made Jess giggle all over again.
Claire wanted to close her eyes and just soak up the sound. She just wanted everything to be all right. If itcouldn’t be all right, at least back to what it was.
“She’s really excited,” Tony said, as if Claire hadn’t noticed.
“That’s blackmail.”
They were sitting in the front seat of the sedan Tony hadrented for the day, since neither of their sports cars would squeeze in five people.
“Don’t you want to go?” Tony asked.
Claire gave into impulse and leaned her head back againstthe seat. “I want to sleep.”
One hand resting atop the steering wheel, he nodded. “Iknow the perfect place. In fact, I’ll join you.”
Claire was astonished by a sudden image of the two ofthem sleeping together. Intertwined, sated lovers, her hand spread across his belly, his arms nestling her to him.
She squeezed her eyes shut and commanded her heart toslow back down.
“Come on, Claire,” he urged. “When was the last timeyou took a day off?”
