Johnny didn’t know quite what to say. “My dad was injured.” He shrugged ineffectually. “He was cut by eggshells when a mortar hit the mess hall.”
“He was there,” Tony assured him. “That’s reasonenough for a Purple Heart.”
“I think my mom has one, too. I found it in her old trunkonce.”
“She’s never told you about it?”
A shrug, and Johnny began to look younger. “She, uh,doesn’t talk about it at all.”
“She didn’t even watch ‘China Beach’?”
This time he got a fleeting grin. “Nah. She said she didn’tneed to watch it. She was in the original cast.”
Tony nodded, gave his face another swipe with his T-shirt.He’d been thinking all afternoon of the admission she’dmade. Of the family she’d come home to. No wonder shewas having trouble. There had been no one who had supported her unconditionally.
When Tony had come home for leave from the VA, he’dslept on the floor. He’d startled at backfires and cried at thesound of helicopters. More than one night he’d simply sat on the edge of his bed, too terrified to sleep. Someone had always seemed to find him there. It had usually been hismom, short and round like an Italian dumpling, with herstatue of the Blessed Virgin she’d put in his room to keephim safe and her soft mother’s arms she’d put around himwhen he shook.
She never asked questions, but she always listened. Andeven when he couldn’t tell her because he didn’t want to hurther, she would simply sit holding him as if he’d been fouragain and gotten lost on the way to the store. Some guys stillwore their dog tags. Tony still wore the Miraculous Medalhis mother had sent with him to war.
“She’s worried about you, ya know,” he told Johnnyabout his own mother.
That quickly, the boy’s composure disintegrated. “It’s not my fault. She doesn’t listen to me, like I’m still five and wantto ride whales for a living. All I’ve ever wanted to do is flyjets, and she doesn’t understand!”
“She understands,” Tony assured him. “It scares the hellout of her. Especially seeing what’s going on in North Africa right now.”
“It’s not exactly Vietnam,” the boy retorted, shouldersforward, fingers wound through belt loops to give them aplace to be.
“It’s exactly like Vietnam. At least to her. Cut her some slack. She’s trying her best.”
“She’s going to make me miss my only chance,” he insisted, and Tony heard all that longing, all the pain of a boyterrified that his dreams are going to die.
“There will be others.”
“And she’ll say no to those, too.”
She would, too. Tony had seen the look on her. Tony wasn’t about to lie to Johnny. The best he could do waswork with him.
“Then you’re just going to have to help me,” Tony toldhim.
“Help you what? I’m no carpenter.”
Tony waved off his objection. “Do you love your mom?”
Johnny huffed in embarrassment. “Well, yeah. Sure.”
“Do you want her to be able to sleep like normal people and be happy for you when you become a pilot?”
“Yes.” No dissembling this time. Raw sincerity.
“Well, that’s why I stayed. It’s the only reason I stayed.”He made a motion to include the terrible scars that bisectedhis chest and wrapped across his abdomen and around hisright side. “She’s the only thing that kept me alive, John. I owe her. I’m trying to help her, okay?”
Johnny shrugged. “Yeah. I guess.”
He wasn’t convinced yet. As long as he was thinking,Tony didn’t care.
“Are you going on the picnic with us? I think it’s important.”
This time he got a classic put-upon scowl. “I can’tnotgo.It’s all Mom’s been talking about this afternoon, like we’regoing to Disney World or something.”
