Even with all the ambivalence making mincemeat of his stomach, Jake managed a smile. “Wouldn’t think of it.”
“I won’t bother you any more about it. It’s your decision. Yours and Amanda’s. I just thought it might help you to know that if you’d like to fulfill my dream of having my very own sister-in-law, you have your family’s wholehearted approval... at least, you have mine. I may have to bribe Gen and Zeke.”
Jake couldn’t believe it. He was actually laughing. “What more can a brother ask for?” he demanded, pulling her into his arms and lifting her off the ground in a hug.
“So, that’s all I have to say,” she said somewhere within the folds of his flannel shirt.
“I’m glad,” he acknowledged. “This is really something that only Amanda and I can work out.”
Lee gave him one more squeeze and then trotted back on out of the corral.
“Just don’t disappoint us,” she commanded slyly before she slid between the rails.
Completely helpless in the face of his sister’s enthusiasm, Jake could manage no more than a return to the filly. She was just as high-spirited, contrary and cantankerous. But at least she couldn’t talk back.
“Gosh, this is just like a real family,” Lee gushed as the three of them sat to dinner two nights later.
“Lee!” both Amanda and Jake chorused together.
Lee nodded. “Oh, yeah. Right. I’m mute. A mime. Wanna see me walk against the wind?”
“I want to see you in a box,” Amanda snapped.
“I’ll get the nails and two-by-fours,” Jake offered.
Lee just laughed. “Gosh, this is more fun than pushin’ little biddies in a crick.”
Jake stared at her. “What the hell does that mean?”
Lee shrugged. “I don’t know, but doesn’t it have a great sound?”
“Where,” he demanded, “do you keep coming up with those damn things? You’re beginning to sound like an almanac.”
“From Amanda,” she assured him. “There are a bunch of them in her book... oh, but that’s right. You haven’treadher book yet, have you?”
“Why should 1?” he demanded. “You’re reciting it over the dinner table!”
“I swear,” she goaded, leaning just a little closer over the cake she and Amanda had baked that afternoon, “you’re so grumpy you don’t do a thing but sit in a chimley corner, rock your big toe and whistle hard times.”
Amanda fought a grin. “Youarea brat,” she informed the girl.
Lee shot her a grin. “This way he won’t miss me so much when I’m gone.”
“I’d be happy not to miss you real soon,” Jake warned.
Lee arched an eyebrow at him. “Well, then you won’t mind if I go meet Tommy Helpern at the movies.”
Amanda saw Jake’s glare, saw the dance of affectionate challenge between the two of them. But she saw something else, something Lee didn’t seem to see. She saw the strain her return had put on Jake. He’d been so quiet the last few days, so intent on his work, to the point of almost taking away Jose’s chores just to keep busy. Bad storms the last two days had kept him inside, which had the same effect as trying to bottle an explosion. The longer Jake went without being able to ride off his problems, the worse it got. And Lee’s innocent goading was only making it worse.
Lee was a blessing to him, but she was a burden. Every time she talked to Amanda about Amanda’s work, or her own, or the studies she was immersed in, Amanda could see Jake tense. Every time she turned to include Jake in the conversation, he all but ran. And Amanda knew why. She knew he was waiting for her to betray him. To let it slip to the person he could least afford, that he couldn’t read. That everything he thought Lee based her affection on was foundationless.
Amanda knew she’d precipitated the worst crisis Jake would ever face, and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do to help. Except wait. Except keep his faith and hold his silence and provide his support until he could deal with it. Until he made his decision.
But the longer he went, the greater the toll it took on the both of them.
Maybe if they could just last through Lee’s visit. Maybe then Jake would feel free to once again discuss his problem, to look at it in a more objective light without his little sister constantly buffeting him with her hero worship.
The weather had broken just before dinner, letting the late sun wash across the meadow in thick, golden shafts. Maybe tomorrow Jake could get a little of this out of his system by taking Buck on a long run somewhere.
