My jaw clenches tight enough to crack. Right now I want her to myself and every other man out of the house, their eyes off her. Her body jerks against mine as I squeeze her too tight. I relax my hold and force a smile that I far from feel. “Let’s do this.”
Lanie tows me around the table—a change; usually I’m the one dragging her about everywhere. She shoves at West’s shoulder when she reaches her seat. “Move up.”
To my surprise, which must look ridiculous from Billy’s muted guffaw, West does as she commands, taking his plate with him. The entire company shuffles over a spot, leaving me squashed between Billy and Lanie. Tripp takes the opportunity to fill my plate, West passing me a beer.
“This is unusual,” I mutter, accepting the beer and looking atthe gathering around me with a cautious nod. “I’m not used to being waited on.”
The crowd breaks up, West swiping beneath his eyes as his heavy chest shakes beneath the power of his laughter. He slaps the table. “Rand, you must be the only billionaire in the world to say that.”
I roll my shoulders, their tightness from before returning. Lanie slips her hand into mine beneath the table, raising her glass with a glint in her eye. My cheeks already ache with my pretend smile, but something about her determination calls to me. She turns to face the gathered crowd, waiting for everyone to raise their drink. Including me.
This woman.She can sass me and rearrange my life all damn day long, no matter how much it hurts. Just as long as that lifeline she’s currently offering with her hand entangled with mine is never retracted.
“To our absent Levi,” she proclaims, “for providing us with a most excellent feast.”
Laughter fills the room a second time. I sit back as a real grin spreads over my face. Whatever happened between her and Levi seems to have been put to rest for now. West catches my eye behind Lanie’s back as she leans forward to argue something inane with Tripp. The younger cowboy, who came to me as a door knocker early last season, grins at my girl and absorbs her smile and energy as much as I do. I’d berate him for it, but it’s hard to push back when Lanie’s laughter is contagious.
What Coyote’s been missing.
“She’s good for you.” West clinks my beer with his.
“Might be,” I murmur, my heart panging at the sight of Lanie settled among my boys, knowing I hadn’t been here for hours for her, wrapped up in my work. The image of her tangled in my sheets, waiting in my bed, slams into me. I force the image back with effort before I end up with her on my lap to hide my arousal.
Every time I breathe, I inhale her soft, sweet scent. Herwarmth fills one side of my body I thought long numbed as I scoot her against me.
“It’s gonna be hard the day she leaves,” West says, and it’s like a knife in the gut, twisting the pain deeper.
I keep my grimace on the inside, curling my fingers beneath her shirt, stroking her sweet skin, needing the contact.
“I know.”
Organizing the rodeo takes a whole lot more hours than I ever noticed now that those hours matter. Or maybe it’s just that now I have someone to share those late hours with, and I’m beginning to resent the time it consumes over the usual workload running Coyote Falls.
Each night, I tumble into bed well after Lanie falls asleep, curling up next to her still form. I ache to wake her, kiss her. Often I just want to speak to her, knowing she stays up longer and longer trying to catch me, but even I’m not that much of a selfish asshole. At least, not most nights. Tonight… Guilt washes over me as I trace her sleeping form with light fingers. Hell, here’s the most stunning woman in my bed, and I haven’t even taken the opportunity to spread her naked beneath me and take us both into oblivion together.
But, as with every night that she’s been at Coyote Falls, she’s fallen asleep before me, without me, and I… I’ve cloistered myself away working on the Invitational. My chest heavy with regret, I draw the navy damask quilt over her, tucking strands of wild-cherry hair away from her face.
Communal dinners have become a regular thing over the last week, including nightly rounds of poker, a high-stakes game of who earns themselves security duty for the rodeo. The boys have fun with my girl while I spend most of my time apologizing to her.
“I’m sorry you haven’t got out to see the wolves, Lanie. It’s been a madhouse with the event coming up.”
She shrugs, balancing a tray of drinks in one hand and snacks inthe other. “The wolves aren’t going anywhere, Cord. This is more important. Go into the kitchen and grab a tray, would you? Levi’s cooked up a storm.”
Relieved she understands, I give her a quick kiss. “Yes, ma’am.”
I lean down, stealing a kiss and the soft sound she makes in her sleep. Having Lanie here is everything I hoped and nothing like what I planned. Maybe it’s time to change things up and carve a place out for both of us before she leaves Coyote Falls. Then we can heal an ache in more hearts than just mine.
Because I’m far from ready to walk the homestead without her in it.
TEN
LANIE
Empty Spaces Within
I wake in Cord’s bed alone, which has become my new normal state. Living at Coyote Falls is nothing like what I expected when I took up his offer, if I expected anything at all. Cord fills his days with his usual work, removing an uncomfortable pressure from me. The idea of being his sole focus on a daily basis was more than a little intimidating initially, but I’ve fallen into a strange rhythm with his household, who seem to embrace me as much as I accept them.
I roll to the side, floundering for the edge of the giant bed that seems to move with me for the size and fluffiness of it. The thick mattress cushions my back in a luxury so different from my hides in the wild, sleeping in thermals and a functional, if thin, sleeping bag. There, my fare was limited to home-cooked food with local families as company in the evenings after days of observing the wolves.
