I wish I could tell you how long I spent slumped against the wall in Sheila’s office. I suspect it was a lot longer than any rational man should need to collect himself after yet another blood-boiling, crazy-making skirmish with the demon who keeps crashing into my life.
Thankfully, an elaborate knock— four fast, six slow, then three fast—snaps me out of my fugue state, and I’m smiling an almost natural smile by the time I pull open the door and usher my sisters inside.
“Ten-four, good buddy.“ Becks is uncharacteristically solemn. “The dingoes have left the nest, and the hyena is circling.”
Drea snorts. “What she means is, Sebastian called to say the investors are starting to leave the hotel, and Mr. Randall just got here.”
Becks sighs in disappointment. “It’s like you don’t know anything about being a spy.”
“And you do?” Drea settles cross-legged into Sheila’s desk chair.
“At least I’m trying. We’re currently in Wyatt’s Evil Villain HQ, after all,” she huffs, mirroring her sister’s position but from the couch. “Anyway, Mr. Randall stomped in just now and threw his coat at me like Miranda What’s-Her-Name from that movie.”
“Priestly. Devil. Prada.”
“Girls!” My voice cuts through their squabbling, and they both zip it. I’ve been the crossing guard to their bickering their whole lives, and they’re still good about listening to me. “Please explain what you?—”
But that’s when I clock what they’re wearing. The green sweaters, the striped skirts… apparently those are the uniforms for tonight’s servers, and I just watched an impostor swish out the door to join the team. Of course, the difference is that where my sisters are covered neck to knees in baggy elf-wear, CJ’s uniform was much shorter, much tighter, and much less Santa-appropriate.
“Christ, she did steal her outfit from a child.“ I mutter, and both girls cock their heads. Like always, it’s in opposite directions, Becks tilting to the right and Drea tilting to the left. Also like always, their looks clearly communicate confused pity for their eldest brother.
Becks suddenly brightens. “Oh! You saw the clown elf.”
“Yes, I saw the fucki—” I break off with a strangled groan. “What was she doing?”
“She charged into the kitchen and started giving orders like a boss,” Becks says.
“Nobody on the catering staff recognized her, but she was so, like, in control that we all just did what she said.” The terminally over-it Drea sounds impressed. “Goals, honestly.”
“Dammit. I knew she was up to something.”
“Ooohhh you know her?”
I ignore Becks and ask as patiently as I can, “What did the clown elf tell you all to do?”
“Let’s see, she told the chef to take bacon out of all the dishes and load up on tofu.” Becks wrinkles her nose. “Nasty.”
“We’re also supposed to leave all the silverware in the kitchen for the soup course,” Drea adds. “But like, what?”
“One of the other servers saw her adding green food coloring to the shrimp,” Becks says.
I shake my head at the litany that pours out of them. “I swear to god, she walked out of this room three minutes ago,” I grumble.
Becks brightens as she remembers one more detail. “Oh, and apparently there’s only Rumple Minze at the bar, whatever that means.”
A full-on Grinch smile spreads across my face. That one was all me.
“It’s the worst alcohol in the world,” I tell them. “Someday you’ll understand.” But fuck, CJ’s messing with the food? What the hell is she up to?
“Oh, and our new job is to pass the appetizers to the other guests but to let her handle serving Mr. Randall. If he reaches for anything, we’re supposed to, like, dodge him.” Drea shrugs. “I guess he has a bunch of food allergies or something.”
“She said that?” I ask sharply, snapping to attention. “Specifically, she said no one should serve anything to Mr. Randall other than her?”
My sisters nod, their eyes both widening at my tone. Drea opens her mouth to add what I can only assume are more insane commands from my nemesis, but my phone buzzes, and I hold up my hand to stop her. “The birds are here.”
“I want to see them!” Becks bounces on her heels.
“Sorry, kid.” I pocket my phone. “You both need to stay here.”
