“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Gabe leaps into the back of the van like an action hero before he turns and holds a hand out to help his wife step inside as well.
“Oh no. Did Wyatt finally find out?” Darby asks.
I look from face to face of the people who allegedly love me the most and growl, “You’re all evil, you know that?”
“Shoulda told us what beef you have with CJ.” Gabe plops down next to me and pulls his wife onto his lap.
“Et tu, Darby?” I ask the sweet-faced librarian.
“I argued that we should tell you both,” she says, “but apparently that would be ‘totally uncool’ and ‘ruin our chance’ to watch you two ‘fight to the death or fuck it ou…’” She freezes in the middle of throwing around air quotes, and now all four of them are exchanging glances. It’s just eyes darting all over the place at my expense.
“Or what?” I ask testily.
Hollis is the one who breaks the silence with that megawatt smile that made him scads of cash over the years as a stripper at the high-end club outside of town. “I mean, come on. You can’t hate a woman that much and not secretly want to get her naked.”
All I hear is the pounding of blood in my ears before I turn my glare on the group crammed into the van with me. “I promise you,” I grind once I’m sure my head isn’t going to explode, “that is not the case. At all. For either of us.”
I’m met with a chorus of sarcastic “Sure”s and thumbs-up signs.
“Oh, fuck each of you smug, coupled-up, want-to-turn-everybody-into-clones-of-yourselves assholes.” I fold my arms and slump back onto the bench with a scowl. This makes them laugh even harder, and I’m forced to raise my voice above their general merriment. “All I need to know right now is that somebody confirmed the swans, the maids, the lords, the ladies, the drums, the pipers, and the jugglers.”
“Swans and ladies,” Darby says.
“Maids and drums,” Liv says.
“Pipers and jugglers,” Gabe says.
“You.” I point at Hollis, “Tell me your former coworkers are ready with the tiniest G-strings and shortest booty shorts.”
He tucks his chin in horror. “Who taught you those words?”
“I’m going to assume that’s a yes?”
Holly nods, and that’s one more section off my checklist.
“Problem,” Gabe says.
Shit. “What?”
“Which of us was supposed to bring Wyatt’s naked baby pictures to give to CJ as future blackmail material?”
“Ahhhh, I knew I forgot something.” Hollis slaps his forehead, then slaps me on the back. “Listen, we’ve got this. Go show your face, mingle, secure your alibi. We’ll come get you if anything goes wrong. Now everybody take a walkie-talkie.”
He hands each of us a handheld unit, then sends Gabe and Darby off with walkies for Seb and Birdy when they arrive now that their surveillance of the VIP hotel is over.
“Please tell me they’re not working with CJ too,” I grumble. “They live all the way up in Chicago.”
I stand to leave, but Liv puts her hand on my wrist.
“Hey.” She leans forward and straightens my bow tie, then smooths her hands down my lapels. “I know we’ve been joking, and I know you think she’s some indestructible ballbuster, but CJ is one of the best people I know, and she has a soft, squishy center.”
The snort is out before I can stop it, and Liv pulls me toward her by the lapels. “I’m not messing around, Wyatt. Do not do anything to hurt her more than you already have.”
“How do you?—”
“Because I know.” She gives me a gentle shake. “Because the only thing she’s told me is that she was at fault for some of it, but you were at fault for an awful lot of it too. So if you can’t sort it out with her, then at least don’t make it worse.”
She releases me with a tiny shove, brushes her hands over the imaginary wrinkles she left behind, and kicks me out of the van.
