His face reddened, but he didn’t contradict her, and if anyone asked, she’d blame her frustration and embarrassment for what she said next.
“I don’t know why you’re getting so upset. I mean, we’ve joked about it before, but this allstartedbecause you’re the guy who fucks and leaves.”
His chest rose and fell before he spoke again. “And I can’t change?”
“I didn’t ask you to!” She was yelling now too, but he’d hit her with all this when she was unprepared for it. Straight out of sleep, and he was proposing some kind of lockstep future where she’d work with him and live with him and lose herself into his life and his family and his personality, and she wouldn’t do it. Shewould not,no matter how precious he’d become to her.“This whole agreement was supposed to beeasybecause you’re the guy who doesn’t fall in love, and you especially don’t fall in love with someone like me.”
“Except I did!”
“Then stop it! Because I can’t be in a relationship like that. I can’t hand my whole life over to some guy just because he asks me to. I was counting on you to be the one to walk away!”
She thought he’d understood that. He’d known her dad, had memories with him that she didn’t share, but he would never fully understand the way her mom’s gradual disappearance into Peter’s shadow had shaped her childhood. Had shaped her adulthood too. And now things were spinning wildly out of control, and she wasn’t sure she could call it all back.
In the end, he was the one who calmed down first, lifting his chin to look down at her with something close to pity. “Bad news,honey bunny, but we’re already in a relationship. That may not be how it started, but it’s sure as hell what’s happening now no matter how much you try to deny it.”
“Well, sure. It’s like you’ve said all along, we’re friends.” Even as she said it, she was aware of just how short that fell of describing what he actually was to her. But any other name for him was too terrifying to contemplate. And it didn’t matter anyway because he was clearly confusing lust with other feelings. “Come on, you don’tloveme. You just like having sex with me.”
He shook his head angrily. “How can you say that after yesterday? That was us being together because we wanted to be together. We didn’t do that for some bullshit fake relationship. There is no fake relationship anymore. It’s real.”
She opened her mouth to correct him, but her throat locked up and prevented her from turning into a liar. They’d blown way past “doing it for public consumption” weeks ago, and he was right. Yesterday on the boat hadn’t been about anything other than spending time with the man she…
No. She didn’t love him. Love was the quicksand she’d avoided her whole life. But her resolve wavered when he stepped close and curled his hands loosely around her shoulders. “I didn’t expect any of this either, but here we are. I love you.”
Her heart and her head might be in turmoil, but her body still responded to all that damn magnetism. He cupped her jaw, and she let herself imagine what it would be like. Making it real,really real, with Aiden. Loving him. Working with him. Being with him forever.
Forever. The word expanded in her head and pushed out all other thoughts.
“No. I’m sorry, but I can’t.” She shrugged off his hands while her heart threw itself against her ribs over and over. She was working so damn hard to clamp down on the surge of emotions threatening to choke her that her next words emerged unguarded. “Look at it this way: I’m saving you from having to let me down easy when you’re ready to get back to your Adonis ways.”
He reeled back as if she’d struck him, the animation draining from his face. “You know what? You’re right. This was…” He swallowed convulsively, his jaw bunching. “It was a mistake to bring this up.”
His voice was wooden, and a cold wave of horror moved through her. But it was too late now; he was yanking on his shoes and moving toward the door. “The work on your house is done. Things are coming together at the office. It’s as good a time as any to call it quits.”
His voice betrayed no emotion, and neither did his eyes, and Thea had to choke back a sob. God, what waswrongwith her? She was protecting herself like she always did, but this time it fuckinghurt. Their mutually beneficial arrangement had spun wildly out of control, and her insides felt scooped out and hollow.
But it was done. She’d said what she had to, and he was leaving.
“At least let me give you the number for my temp agency.” She barely recognized her own voice, ragged and small, but she could be his friend one last time. “They can send you someone to fill in until you can find a permanent hire.”
His quiet laugh was deeply unamused. “Thanks.”
He bent and stroked his hand down Blue’s little back, then straightened and looked at her once more. She held her breath, terrified that he’d say something perfect. Something that would blow through the walls she’d tossed up for both of their sakes.
Instead, he shook his head. “See ya round, killer.”
And he walked out of her room.
As his steps echoed down the stairs, she sank to the floor and wrapped her arms around her knees. Blue scampered over to climb into her lap and nuzzled her face with her cold little nose. She wrapped her arms around the dog’s tiny body, grateful for her warmth.
She was right about this. She knew she was. Aiden would eventually be grateful for his narrow escape from domesticity. In fact, she bet business was about to get good again for the stacked blondes of Beaucoeur. And she’d just saved herself from the pain of being trapped in a relationship that had the potential to warp her into someone she didn’t want to be. It was for the best for both of them.
So why did she burst into tears when she heard the slam of the hobbit door as Aiden walked out of her life?
Twenty-Five
“Remember what I told you? Find the most unpleasant man in the group and direct all your pee at him. You’ll know the one.”
Blue yipped once and looked up with naked adoration on her little monkey face, her frantically wagging tail whacking Thea’s ankle.
