She gestured down at herself, hoping he understood everything she was referring to: her obsession with the outward appearance of success, her undying quest for validation, her unmet need for love. She couldn’t joke her way through this, and what’s more, she didn’twantto. After a lifetime of rejection, her defense system was finally shutting down, leaving her weak and unprotected.
Then again, perhaps for the first time ever, she had a champion. Erik plucked the wineglass from her hand and set it on the coffee table, then swept his thumbs over her cheekbones, blotting up a stray tear that had escaped during her brutal self-assessment.
“Hey, look at me.” He didn’t speak again until she’d met his kind, steady eyes. “You are spectacular. Shoes and temper and all. I love every minute I spend with you.”
The sincerity rolling off him was too much for her. Too earnest, too honest, and too misguided. She cut her glance away, but he wrapped a hand around the nape of her neck and drew her close enough that he could gently bite her left earlobe to recapture her attention. Her eyes flew back to his, but even his proprietary touch couldn’t chase away all the negativity inside of her.
“I’m angry, and I’m bossy.”
He batted her breathless words away. “You’re assertive and brave. And you’re smart as hell. You helped me see that all this was possible.”
He inclined his head toward the stairs that led to his bakery, and yes, true, she did feel a certain sense of pride at being part of the huge strides he’d taken over the past few months.
“You are spectacular,” he said again. “Tell me you believe that.”
He tightened his grip on her neck, and she just… she dropped her walls. She let his faith in her wash in like a tide, and it filled her up where she was parched.
“Okay,” she whispered. “I believe you.”
His thumb stroked down the column of her neck. “Say it.”
When she hesitated, he delivered another ear nip that she felt all the way down to her core.
“Okay, I-I’m spectacular.”
“Once more.”
“I’m spectacular!” she shouted.
“Damn right. And you’re going to tell your mom that the next time you see her.” He kissed her hard and fast, then he shocked the hell out of her by asking casually, “Do you want to go out tonight?”
She brushed away the last of her excess-emotion tears and looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean, out?”
Now he was the one turning pink. “Out. Like… dancing? Or dinner? What do you usually do on Saturday night?” He shifted on the couch, looking nervous, and oh.Ooooh. He was asking heroutout, and he was so damn cute she might actually die.
And of course she had to mess with him a little. How would he know it was her if she didn’t throw in a little snark? “Dancing would beamazing.You own a pair of leather pants, right? Or something really shiny and mesh? That’s the dress code of the club I’m thinking of.”
She let him blink in utter speechlessness for a good fifteen seconds before she dissolved into laughter. “You should see your face! God, no, I’m kidding. On Saturday nights when I don’t have to work, I put on my stretchiest clothes, order in, and watch Netflix. It’s the secret Josie Ryan that nobody gets to see.”
He slumped against the couch in relief. “Can we do that one?”
“You want the secret Josie?” She was really asking, and she wanted a real answer.
He didn’t disappoint. “I do.”
The simple words, simply spoken, had her stomach performing a loop. Her emotions surged and threatened to consume her, so she groped for her sass. “Okay, but I still say you’d look great in leather pants.”
“You’re killing me,” he said fondly. “Where are we ordering from?”
Four hours later, they were in danger of forming actual, physical bonds with the couch, they’d moved so little. Empty take-out cartons littered the table in front of them, and Josie was tucked into Erik’s side, wearing one of his old T-shirts since her fancy lunch dress wasn’t great for lounging.
She was content. No, she was ecstatic. He’d have to serve her an eviction notice when their time together was done because this was her new happy place.
The Netflix movie they’d agreed on chattered away in the background, and her eyes drifted lower and lower until Erik’s voice called her back from the brink of sleep.
“I’ve been thinking.”
“Mmm?” she said drowsily.
