“I do.” His voice was firm. “Maybe it’s different for you, but I didn’t have a father. Not really. And now I do—well, I guess I always did—but I didn’t know him. If there’s one thing I’ve learned due to not having my father around for most of my life, it’s this: I would never build a life of lies like your father did. Maybe I can’t promise you everything will be perfect, but I can promise I won’t lie.”
“Kincaid, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I understand where you’re coming from. But it would’ve been nice to know a little sooner that there’s no chance you’d ever trust me.” His voice frayed with the last two words. Without another, he turned and walked away.
I kept replaying the look in Kincaid’s eyes. The pain contained there. Not anger. Not resentment. Just hurt. The way he looked at me before he walked away had cracked something inside me.
I’d been frozen in place, my feet stuck to the ground beneath them.
“Oh my God,” I whispered into the silence.
Bella, who’d been sniffing along the edge of the yard, came to press her head against the side of my hip. Her little tail gave a slow wag. “I know, sweetie,” I murmured, sweeping my palm over her back. “I screwed up.”
She wiggled a little, her cloudy gaze peering up at me like she could see straight into my soul. I knew I had screwed up. And now, I had no idea what would happen next.
I didn’t know how to square the fact that I didn’t know how to trust anybody in a romantic relationship. The worst part was that I knew Kincaid wasn’t like my dad. I knew he wouldn’t do what my father did. But that didn’t stop the confusion of my emotions from wrapping around me like fog. I couldn’t see clearly.
I felt like I was the broken piece. If I’d been a different kind of daughter—maybe better, quieter, less complicated—then maybe my dad would’ve thought twice. Maybe he would’ve cared more about how much his actions and the eventual implosion of our family would hurt me and would carve a deep gash into my belief in others.
I didn’t know what to do. “What do I do, Bella?” I whispered as I plunked down on the couch a little while later.
She gave another small tail wag, her presence always comforting and loyal.
I barely slept that night. I kept replaying the conversation with Kincaid, over and over. Every single time, it ended the exact same way, with him walking away and the pain in his gaze etched on my heart.
When the sun finally rose, I was too tired and restless to stay in bed. I got up, bundled myself into a sweatshirt, and loaded Bella into the passenger seat. We drove into town for coffee.
Casey and Luna were there. Firehouse Café was quiet and cozy. When I told them what happened, they both assured me they understood and it would be okay.
“I don’t know what to do,” I murmured, trying not to sigh again.
Casey handed my decaf coffee over the counter and waved off my attempt to pay. “We do consultations now. It’s on the house.”
I rolled my eyes. “No, really—” I tried to push the money across the counter, but Luna just nodded toward the tip jar. I stuffed the cash in there.
“You want a donut?” Luna asked.
“I can’t even eat.” I stared down at my decaf coffee. I’d gone with decaf ever since I’d found out I was pregnant.
“What do you want to do?” Casey asked gently.
“I want everything to be okay.”
“Then, maybe,” she said gently, “you should try talking to Kincaid again.”
I hesitated. “I do trust him. I think I do. I feel terrible. He’s really hurt, and I don’t know how to fix that.”
Luna raised an eyebrow, her smile kind as she studied me. “It kind of seems like you do know how. Life is messy, and it can be hard to trust, but there can also be people you do trust. Both things can exist at the same time.”
I let out a gust of breath. “But how do I know it’s going to be okay?”
“You don’t,” Casey said simply.
I blinked at her. “Well, that’s not great.”
She grinned a little. “No, but it’s honest.”
I took a sip of my completely unsatisfying decaf coffee.
