“Anyway,” she went on, “it all worked out for the best. I didn’t plan it. He wanted nothing to do with Teddy. Pretty much blew me off the whole time.” She smiled softly. “And then, Griffin and I fell in love. It hasn’t been the easiest—we still had to jump through a few legal hoops because the sperm donor’s kind of a jerk. But I’m here to tell you: no matter what you do—and I don’t have an opinion about what you do—I seriously considered abortion, too. But I decided against it.” She shrugged. “Even though, logically, it probably wasn’t the easy choice. You just have to do what feels right for you. What is it?” she asked, as more tears spilled over my cheeks.
Just when I thought I had them under control. “I just... I don’t know what to do. Obviously, Kincaid didn’t plan on having a baby, because we did use birth control. I don’t know.” I swallowed hard. “What if it doesn’t work out with him? This is terrifying for me. He seems like a good man.”
“I think he is,” she added.
“I don’t—” My voice wavered. “I have major trust issues. Because of what happened with my dad.”
“Yeah,” I said softly, “like the whole freaking town trusted that man. Everyone.”
“Well, maybe not everyone,” Tish replied, giving me a look. “But lots of people were surprised, from what I understand. It doesn’t mean what he did is something most people would do. Maybe if you’re ninety-eight percent sure you’re going to have this baby, you should talk to Kincaid about it.”
I opened my mouth to reply, but she held up a hand. “Maybe you just tell him all your worries. Tell him that you’re not sure you can trust him—but that it’s not him. It’s trusting anyone.”
“Tish,” I protested. “You make it sound like that’s simple.”
“Oh, it’s definitely not simple,” she said, laughing under her breath. “Few things are.” She paused before circling her hand in the air. “But when I got pregnant, it clarified everything for me. At least it did once I accepted it. It was like all these things I used to wonder about, or worry about, I could suddenly assess them quickly. This is right. This is what I want. This isn’t. That kind of thing. My priority was my baby, and it made other things easier to not worry about, if that makes any sense.”
I exhaled slowly, feeling that pressure in my chest build again.
“I can’t tell you what to do,” she said. “But I’m here if you want to talk more. Call any time. I’ve never been the best sleeper, so even if you’re up in the middle of the night—just send me a text. I’ll wake up and listen as long as you need.”
My eyes went wide as I let out a disbelieving laugh. “Are you serious?”
“Absolutely. Although I’m making it sound like it was easy for me to decide to have Teddy, it wasn’t. Not at the time.” She leaned back, her expression softening. “It’s true that everything felt clearer once I made the decision, and especially after he came into my life. But I felt so alone through it all at first. I really did. Honestly, moving here helped me. I love my job. You know Phoebe?”
I nodded. “Yeah. We both grew up here.”
“She and Archer have that little garage apartment behind their place. I ended up renting it from them for a bit. Phoebe helped me so much. She still does. After that, I moved into the place Madison rents to us now.” Her lips curled slightly with a smile. “She’s another good friend. I don’t think you have to have a lot of friends in this life. But I feel lucky because I have more than I ever imagined here. It’s the good ones who matter.”
I swallowed hard. My throat was suddenly tight, and I blinked against the sting behind my eyes.
“You don’t have to be anything other than yourself for those kind of friends,” she added softly.
Holding her gaze, I reached for her hands, squeezing them firmly before letting go. “You’re a good friend, Tish.”
Her eyes warmed. “Ditto.” She sat back and looked toward the window. “When do you see Kincaid again?”
“He actually flew down to Seattle this weekend to see his dad. He and his mom went down there.”
Tish nodded slowly. “So... when he gets back? You could try to talk to him about what’s going on. Handling it all by yourself will only make it more difficult.”
I sighed. “I know you’re right. I have to talk to him.”
“The world won’t end if you don’t,” she said, lifting one shoulder in a shrug. “But if he’s important to you—which I sense he is—you have to talk to him.”
When I got home that night, I walked Bella out into the yard. An owl hooted at us from the trees nearby. I wasn’t even sure Bella could hear the sound. The sky was dark with the moon rising above the mountains.
I took a deep breath, savoring the crisp, fresh air. Bella seemed to sense that I needed her presence, and she lingered close beside me as we walked back inside. I sank onto the couch, and she curled up next to me, resting her head in the curve of my hip as I idly stroked over her ears—her favorite way to be petted. That slow, steady breathing of hers and the warmth of her fur beneath my fingers soothed something raw inside of me.
“I have to talk to him, Bella,” I whispered as I glanced down.
Her trusting, cloudy gaze met mine, her little tail wagging. Even though I wasn’t sure how to do this, I knew that she had faith in me.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Kincaid
My actual father sat across from me at a table. This entire situation was both odd and oddly comfortable. My mom had come with me at the start, and they’d hugged—which was also odd. She had just gone out to pick up a pizza for us for lunch. He’d said that was one of the few things he still had an appetite for.
