“What would you usually do?” I returned, trying not to care. Honestly, I didn’t. I didn’t care that he smelled like smoke and dirt . I was just glad he was back.
“I’d shower here.”
“Well, then go for it.”
“All right. Give me ten minutes. I’ll meet you out back,” he replied.
“I have Bella with me. I’ll take her out for a pee break.”
Bella was ecstatic to see Kincaid a little while later, wiggling and spinning in clumsy circles at his feet. He knelt to greet her, stroking his hands gently over her ears and pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“Good to see you, sweet girl,” he said as he stood, grinning at me. “Dogs are the best.”
“Dogs are the best,” I agreed. “And, Bella in particular is the very best.” I meant every word.
When he climbed into the car beside me and I started driving, I felt fragile in a way I hadn’t expected. Maybe because I’d missed him more than I realized. Maybe because I had half-admitted to myself that I was falling in love with him. And maybe because the secret I carried inside me felt huge. I had already surprised myself with the decision I’d made.
I wanted this baby. It was so unexpected. If you had asked me before it happened—before I saw those two blue lines—if I would have made this decision, I would have said absolutely not. I one hundred percent would have chosen to have an abortion, hypothetically speaking.
While I would always be in support of a woman’s right to make her own choices about having a baby, my heart wanted something else in this moment. My heart wanted this baby. Wrapped up inside that wish was wanting this baby with Kincaid.
I was terrified. Because I didn’t know what he wanted.
“How was the job, I guess?” I asked, my voice a little too bright and hitching on what to call his travel away.
Kincaid reached over, catching my hand where it rested on the center console, and laced his fingers through mine. He gave a warm squeeze. “Well, the fire’s out.”
A laugh slipped out. “That’s the whole point, right?”
When I slid my gaze to his and caught the teasing glint in his eyes, my belly fluttered with a rush of nerves and anticipation.
“That is the point,” he said, grinning. “But it’s not always what happens, actually. Sometimes we go in for a rotation, get one section under control, and then roll out when another crew tags in. In this case, we got it close enough to one hundred percent containment on our side—with crews from Fairbanks on the other—that they kept us out longer to finish the job.”
“Well, good.” I smiled, stealing a longer glance at him. “Do you like your job?” I asked, genuinely curious.
Obviously, I knew the basics of what being a hotshot firefighter meant. We’d talked about it here and there, but not really in detail.
He paused for a beat. “Yeah, I do,” he answered. “I got into it because I like being outdoors, and it seemed like a good way to do that.” He shrugged, and I could feel the motion rather than see it since I was driving. “Sometimes I wonder if I should keep doing it long-term, especially with my mom’s health. But she keeps insisting she doesn’t need me to stay home all the time.”
“I think you just do what works for you for the time being,” I offered. “If at some point she does need you, I know you’ll be there.” I glanced over at him again. “I know this about you.”
It should have surprised me that I trusted him that way. That I knew, without any doubts, that I could trust him to take care of his mom, that I trusted his loyalty. And yet, when it came to me—to us—I couldn’t find the same confidence. I couldn’t quite believe in the connection. I couldn’t trust that anyone would really be there for me the way he tried to be there for his mom.
“That’s pretty much how I’ve tried to think about it,” he said.
Quiet settled between us, and I could hear the beat of my heart kicking along inside my chest.
“I missed you, Tori,” he said softly.
I glanced at him, and my heart felt cracked wide open—emotion flooding in so fast it made my chest ache. I dragged my gaze back to the road.
“I missed you, too,” I managed, my throat tight with emotion.
He gave my hand another slow squeeze.
I looked back toward him, meeting that rich brown gaze for half a heartbeat before I started to turn ahead.
“Moose!” he exclaimed.
