“I haven’t dated anybody in, well, not since I started taking care of my mom.” He shook his head slightly.
“I just wanted to put that out there,” I added, so uncertain how to handle my own feelings here. I liked Kincaid. Probably way more than I should.
“To clarify, it’s been years since I dated. I’ve never tried to ‘see’ multiple people at a time,” he replied.
As soon as he added that, I noticed the discomfort in his expression. He shifted slightly, like maybe he’d said too much.
Even if our reasons were entirely different, it helped to sense his discomfort. It wasn’t that I wanted him to feel uncomfortable, but more that I didn’t feel so alone in how vulnerable I felt. He didn’t need to know just how hung up I was on trust, or how the very idea of relying on anyone else emotionally in any way was terrifying for me.
“I know this is fresh. I don’t have expectations. I’m not saying—” I started and then stopped abruptly.
He stepped closer and reached for my hand. His touch was instantly grounding. His thumb brushed a slow motion over my knuckles. “I know it’s just been one night. One date, and two kisses before that, but I like you. I’m not saying we need to make it more serious than it is. I just, well, I felt like I should be clear.” He let out a breath. “I’ve never done the online dating thing, but I hear it’s a nightmare with people playing games and mixed expectations. So I just wanted you to know, I’m not that kind of guy.”
“I know you’re not that guy.”
“You do?”
I bit my lip and nodded. “I guess I do know that about you. You’re a good man, Kincaid.”
While my doubts clamored in the corners of my mind over the following days, I kept trying to remind myself of one thing: I did believe Kincaid was a good man. My gut trusted him.
And yet, I remembered—before I found out about my dad and Shelly—I would have bet my soul that neither of them could ever betray the people who loved them. But they had. For an entire decade.
And, doubt? Doubt was a mean girl and practically a professional in my thoughts. My doubts were old and well-formed. They knew the routine and how to make sure I questioned everything and everyone.
Chapter Seventeen
Kincaid
“You spent the night,” my mother pointed out.
She waited four whole days since I stayed with Tori to remind me of this. “I know, Mom. I’m an adult. Do I need to remind you of that again? It’s not like I’m even a fresh adult, I’m thirty-three years old.”
“I know, I know,” my mother exclaimed. “I’m just, you know, I’m excited. You haven’t had a “relationship”.”
She used air quotes around the word relationship. I sat down at the small round table in the kitchen and sighed.
“Mom, I haven’t...ugh.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I dated some in high school, and college, and here and there, but the life of a hotshot firefighter isn’t great for long-term relationships. I’ve had other priorities.”
“So you’re saying you don’t have a relationship with Tori?”
I rolled my eyes and flattened my palm on the table with a muted thump. “Mom. We went on one date. To a fundraiser. And yes, I spent the night.”
She opened her mouth, but I cut her off. “I like Tori. A lot. But I don’t know what’s going to happen. For God’s sake, please don’t go around town acting like we’re about to get married. You’re going to chase her off if you do.”
My mother’s brows hitched high as she studied me. Her mouth dropped open slightly before she let out a satisfied little huff. “Oh. So it matters if I chase her off?”
“Oh, my God, Mom,” I warned. I leaned my head back, staring at the ceiling like it might offer me divine assistance with this moment. Bringing my gaze back to my mother, I replied, “I like Tori. I would like the opportunity to see where things go.”
“Willow Brook is full of firefighters. Seems like a great place for you to have a relationship,” she pointed out in her helpful tone.
“What?” I sputtered.
“Yes!” she said, nodding emphatically. “I’ve met plenty of them—Beck, Levi, Graham—he has kids! He was a single dad before he met Madison. Cooper, Griffin, so many of them. They’re all good guys, and they’re all in committed relationships.”
“I know, Mom,” I replied, trying to keep my frustration out of my voice. “Could you just relax about this?”
“I just want you to be happy.”
