He shuts his mouth, and I can’t help but add, “For what it’s worth, I was thinking vers. But that’s probably me playing peacemaker.”
Ames stares at me. “What… what is even happening right now?” he demands in a high-pitched voice.
I don’t know. I honestly couldn’t say. It’s like someone else is in charge of my mouth. Someone who likes itwhen Ames blushes. Someone who likesmakingAmes blush.
And after a whole day of not knowing what the fuck to do or think or say… I’m pretty okay with letting this new Robbie be in charge.
“Look,” Ames goes on, “I shouldn’t have taken my pre-date nerves out on you the way I did. And I forgot to say one really important thing.”
I frown. Ames is always concerned and careful with me, but his default communication is snark. When he gets sincere like this, it’s impossible to stay angry.
“What thing?” I mutter.
“That I love you too. You’re my best friend, Rob. I will always want you in my life. You matter to me. So we’ll figure out how to navigate whatever changes happen in our friendship. Okay?”
I suck in a breath. God, I want that.
For things to go back to the way they’ve been. To know Ames and I are on the same team, always. To believe this sudden, weird wanting was temporary.
I want it so bad, I tell myself it’s true.
“Okay,” I say. “Yeah.”
Ames lets out a breath. “Thank you. I spent the whole day stress-cooking, thinking I fucked things up.”
“You didn’t,” I manage. “Until you stress-cooked and didn’t bring me anything.” I gesture with both hands to my food-free desk.
Ames laughs and pushes to his feet. He’s around my desk before I can adequately prepare myself, and his strong arms wrap around me in a hug. He smells like his coconut hair stuff.
Instinct makes me hug him back. Tightly.
“There’s a roast beef sandwich with extra horseradish for you in the fridge,” he whispers against my shoulder, which is the equivalent of a friendship haiku from this man.
And I tell myself it’s the beauty of this moment—of friendship, of being known and cared for—that makes me shiver head to toe.
AndnotAmes’s hot breath in my ear.
CHAPTER FIVE
AMES
Sometimes things get worseright before they get better.
That’s what I’m telling myself as Auden and I walk down Whether Street on a Friday night in early April.
Winter’s clinging to Vermont by its fingernails. Cold air stabs my cheeks, and stealth ice patches lie in wait on the sidewalk—a souvenir from the “wintry mix” that melted as soon as it touched the ground earlier, only to freeze under cover of darkness.
But despite all that, some enterprising Winsomefolk have strung miles of white fairy lights across the street like a canopy. Pastel-colored signs in shop windows show the calendar events for the Spring Fling, which starts in about three weeks. And when we passed Chapel Creek Park a minute ago, purple crocuses were poking out of the ground, giving the weather a giantfuck you.
Which just goes to show that you need to be patient—not my forte—and let things work themselves out.
“—but it’s not exactly practical, you know?” Auden says, turning his face to check my response.
I have no idea what he’s talking about, and that’s not the first time this has happened tonight.Fucking fuck, Axford. Head in the game.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I was just thinking how glad I am that we got our schedules to align and what a nice night it’s been.” I gesture vaguely at the town around us before quickly stuffing my hand back in my warm pocket. “My mind wandered.”
“Oh, gosh no.I’msorry.” Auden ducks his head in his adorably bashful way. “I’ve been going on about the idea one of my students had. Remote-control retractable crampon-claws for walking on icy sidewalks?” He shakes his head ruefully. “I get so carried away with this stuff, I might’ve walked us into the river.” He glances around and adds, “But you’re right. Winsome’s like something out of a movie. Makes me really glad I moved to Vermont.”
