He really did. He had a magnetic personality that drew people in. But not a lot of people knewTeagan. I loved knowing that I did. I actually felt kind of… almost… possessive about it. About him. Which was wrong on all sorts of levels.
“Anyway. Mrs. Graziella said to let you two work things out in your own time, but I’m afraid that’s no longer an option here, John. It seems like he really likes this guy.” She cast a worried look in the direction of my apartment. “So what are you gonna do about it?”
I clutched my coffee cup more tightly in my hand. “WhatcanI do? I mean, it’s… good. It’s… great. That he… that he likes someone,” I managed to choke out.
“Other-John,” Monica reminded me sadly.
“Right. Yes. Other-John,” I agreed grimly, like the bottom wasn’t falling out of my world. “Teagan deserves to be happy.”
“Sure he does.” Monica grabbed my arm. “But he deserves to be happy withyou. No one else can love him like you can! And this whole clusterfuck isyourfault, becauseyouhaven’t told him how you feel. He might like Other-John, but the original is always the best.” She laid her hand on my arm. “Go be the original-John, John. Just talk to him.”
For a long moment, I stared at her, my muscles too frozen to move. Downstairs, I heard the main door to the building open and close with a click and Tito barking excitedly.
My first thought wasI don’t even have a week to sort this. I have to do it now.
Just talk to him… God, she made it sound so easy. Like it was just a matter of being determined enough. Like there weren’t very real stakes.
I had no numbers to run, no formulas to input, no lucky charms to stuff in my pockets. I wasn’t sure how to even begin.
“I’ve gotta go,” I blurted, taking out my keys. “I promised T I’d be home. I’ll… I’ll let you get back to your… mischief.”
I strode across the hall, let myself inside, set down my belongings, and leaned back against the door to catch my breath. The apartment smelled like a fall candle Teagan must have had burning somewhere, and the dust motes twirled lazily through the late-afternoon light filtering through the wide-open curtains at the window. From Teagan’s room came the sound of his sweet voice chatting animatedly, and a plate of muffins sat under a glass dome on the kitchen counter. But it wasn’t until I walked down the short hall toward Teagan’s bedroom and found him sitting at his desk, his long hair tied up in a knot and his legs pretzeled beneath him, that I could really draw a deep breath.
Teagan’s gaze shot to mine as I hovered in the doorway, careful to stay off-camera, and the polite smile he’d been giving the person on the screen warmed a fraction. Became something special. Something that wasmine.
Or maybe I only had it temporarily. Until he moved on to this Other-John.
I gulped nervously and choked on my own saliva. Teagan looked concerned.
“Patsy, can you hang on while I mute you for two seconds?” he asked the person on the screen. He clicked a button, then looked at me. “You okay, Johnny?”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Dear God, he was so beautiful.
“Okay. Well…” He bit his lip—that full lower lip I fucking dreamed of feeling on my dick—almost nervously. “I’m gonna need like ten… maybe fifteen more minutes here, and then I’m gonna jump in the shower and get ready.”
“Ready?” I was way too distracted to hold a conversation.
“Yeah. To go out.” He grinned. “Things are looking really good. But I…”
“Teagan?” The woman on the Zoom call prompted at the same moment that a phone beganquackingsomewhere in the living room.
“Shit,” Teagan muttered. “That’s my alarm to start getting ready. I have like fifty-seven things to tell you, and Iwill, I promise. Wait for me?”
“I… I’ll go shut off your alarm.” I hooked a thumb toward the living room, and he gave me a wide, grateful smile.
“Ten minutes,” he reiterated. “Maybe fifteen.”
Right. Yeah. Great.
Fifteen minutes to figure out a solution I hadn’t been able to come up with in a year. Fifteen minutes to find a way to convince Teagan that, yes, I had romantic feelings for him, but I could handle them. That things between us didn’t have to change. That he wasn’t the sole reason I was staying in Boston. That I hardly ever jerked off at night thinking about the curve of his ass when he leaned over to take bread out of the oven and that I hadn’t had to add ten minutes to my shower time every morning because the green-grass scent of his bodywash had a very consistent effect on certain parts of my anatomy.
What could go wrong?
I found Teagan’s phone sitting on the charger by the sofa, and I wiped my damp palms on my pants before I picked it up and hit Stop to silence the alarm. On the lock screen were the unread texts I’d sent Teagan on the way home.
JOHNNY
Sorry! Marie needed to talk to me urgently. I’m for real leaving now though. What’s the big news? Is there a puppy available at the shelter? Because I’m still not sure our place is big enough.
