Katherine rolls her eyes and picks a speck of invisible lint off my jacket, the way she always does. It’s weird ... I never spot anything on my clothes, but Katherine always finds something. “We just want the party planning to go smoothly,” Katherine says with a smile.
“It will,” I say.
“We don’t want to end up at a strip club in Vegas,” Ed says.
Katherine gives out a slightly hysterical laugh. “No, definitely no strip clubs. You know we want to stay in Massachusetts, don’t you?”
“Right,” I say, trying to think whether I made any notes when Katherine called me shortly after Ed proposed.
“And it’s going to be a joint thing. So you and Lucy will be working together, doing the planning and preparation. That will be super fun, right?”
I nod and take another swig of tequila. “Lucy,” I repeat. “Super fun.”
On the other side of the lawn, Katherine’s mom appears to be sermonizing to a small group of guests. Enraptured? Held hostage? Hard to tell from this distance. Weirdly, I think I hear her say something about Hunter “possessing a good fortune.” And also about wanting a wife. Her hands are fluttering in the air, underscoring her words, and then she laughs. At whatevershe’ssaying.
I refocus on the middle distance, where I find a woman barreling toward us with fisted hands and a scowl. “Mom’s started onPride and Prejudice, Katherine,” she says, her jaw tight.
I’ve definitely been introduced to this woman. I think she’s the sister—the one I’m planning the bachelor party with. My mind isfuzzy with tequila, and my brain is stuck in molasses. I don’t remember thinking Katherine’s sister was hot an hour or so ago when we were introduced, but this woman is beautiful. Bright, big green eyes and hair that’s so glossy I wonder whether she put butter or oil or something in it. Is that a thing? And her breasts are mesmerizing. I’m pretty sure she’s not wearing a bra, yet they’re high and round and ... Fuck. I might be drunk, but I haven’t had enough tequila not to realize I’m staring at my best friend’s sister-in-law’s chest. At least I’m wearing sunglasses. Hopefully no one noticed.
“There’s nothing we can do,” Katherine says. “You know what she’s like after a white wine spritzer.”
“You can’t blame the wine. She just needs an audience to start bleating on about Austen.” The beauty sighs. “The glass of wine just means Dad’s getting lucky tonight.”
“Eww,” Katherine and Ed chorus.
I watch the happy couple. They’re basically the same people but opposite genders. They both have neat hair and a permanent smile. They both like yoga and goddamn kimchi. I bet neither of them has ever been hungover at work the day after a big night out. Goody-goodies. That’s what Katherine and Ed are.
I’ve always known this about Ed. It was one of the reasons why I agreed to go into business with him. I knew I could trust him to tell me the truth. The guy can’t lie. But since the engagement, things have shifted. I can tell that his priorities have changed. He’s always talking about the wedding and what he and Katherine have planned for this and that. I’m happy for the guy. I just liked it when I knew he was one hundred percent in the game. Because I’m totally committed to our business. I have to be. I can’t have another business failure on my balance sheet. I won’t let it happen.
“I hope she doesn’t start talking all things Austen to your parents,” Katherine says to Ed, smoothing her hand up his lapel. “She doesn’t realize that channeling Mrs. Bennet isn’t a good look.”
“What’s she going to say?” Ed asks. “Pride and Prejudiceis Jane Austen’s greatest work!”
Maybe I’m drunker than I thought, but I don’t have a clue about what’s going on. Why are we discussing Jane Austen?
The woman with the great breasts, who must definitely be the sister, holds up her palm to Ed to stop him. “I can’t let that one pass. Everyone who hasn’t read the books thinksPride and Prejudiceis Austen’s finest, when it isn’t at all ...” Ed goes to speak, but Lucy isn’t having any of it. “And no, not even the miniseries starring Colin Firth makes it acceptable not to have read the books.”
Katherine groans at the mention of the miniseries. “Three hundred and twenty-seven minutes.”
“Her making us watch that adaptation as often as we did was bordering on traumatic,” Lucy says. “I hate it. The only reason I’m so good at math is because I’d do calculus in my head while being forced to sit through it. Lizzy Bennet is a gold digger, and Darcy is a pompous idiot. No, Austen’s best book is obviouslyPersuasion. Captain Wentworth is a devoted hottie.”
“Captain? Did she write about sailing?” I ask.
Lucy rolls her eyes but doesn’t respond. I was only trying to join in the conversation.
She probably hangs out at libraries and has nineteen cats at home. I take a sip of my drink. I didn’t need to participate in this conversation anyway.
“Persuasionis timeless, and Wentworth is a proper alpha. Not a spoiled guy with a stick up his ass,” Lucy says. “It’s clear Wentworth is going to know what to do with Anne when he finally gets her naked.”
I half choke on my drink when Lucy says “naked,” and heat fills my cheeks, like a teenager caught flicking through an underwear catalog.
“‘I have loved none but you,’” Katherine and Lucy say in unison.
I’m totally lost. I glance over at Ed, but he’s smiling at the two women like he’s at a showing of a Hallmark movie. I slide my drink onto the high top table. Maybe I’ve had one too many.
“She’s going to start quoting Austen to the entire party,” Katherine says. “And Ed isn’t Mr. Bingley.” She looks up at Ed. “If you’re only earning four thousand a year, I’m not marrying you.” She and Ed laugh, but I’m totally confused.
I slide my sunglasses to the top of my head and glance over at Lucy. “Who the hell is Mr. Bingley?” I whisper.
