“Because I’m a woman… or because of who I am?”
“What do you mean?”
She shakes her head, sadness and frustration in her eyes. “It doesn’t matter. I just need space. I’m tired. Don’t join me in the bedroom. I won’t be able to sleep otherwise.” And she walks away from me, going into the bedroom, and shutting the door.
Shutting me out completely.
Natasha
I’m glad Maksim saved my life. But I’m not glad he killed someone to do it.
Not when it makes me think of my father. I have no proof he killed my mother but I’ve known it in my gut for years. My father terrifies me. And now my husband is a killer. Will I ever feel safe around the men in my life?
Maksim says he’ll never hurt a woman but how do I know that? Truly. I can only take him at his word and he’s still a stranger to me. His word doesn’t mean anything.
When he claimed he wanted to protect me, for a moment it warmed my heart. Made me believe that we could have something.
But if he only protected me because of my gender, then it wasn’t for me. It was just on principle. He doesn’t truly care forme. And I’m not sure he ever will. If I can even care for him.
I slump onto the bed before curling into a ball. The image of those men coming at me is seared into my brain. I have never felt more alone in my entire life.
I don’t sleep at all.
When morning comes, I force myself up, even though exhaustion is overtaking my body. Maksim is seated at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of coffee.
I stop when I see him in the morning light. He doesn’t look as scary. In fact, he just looks… tired.
“Hi,” he says.
I can’t get the words to come out of me. Not after how afraid I was last night. But I know I have to try.
“Do you want breakfast?” he ask, nodding at a plate of eggs and bacon. “I made it. It’s kind of the only thing I know how to make.”
Slowly, I sit down across from him, my stomach rumbling, and try to eat a piece of bacon, though it goes down hard.
“About last night…” He sighs. “Why were you so afraid? I know I killed someone but it was to save you. I don’t get it.”
The urge to tell him about my dad is on the tip of my tongue but can I truly trust Maksim? What if he tells my father about my theory? If my father found out I suspected he killed my mom, it would not go over well.
So instead, I stay quiet and nibble on the food.
Maksim nods, like he knows the answer. “All right. I know things are tense between us. Frankly, I don’t want a miserable marriage. So I thought while we’re still in Greece, we should spend the day together. Have fun.”
“Why can’t we just go back home?”
“My dad will be upset with me if I don’t make this work.”
So will mine, I want to say, but still, I keep my lips closed.
“Let us try for today, Natasha. We have to try.”
I know he’s right. I’ll have no choice but to push past my fear and get to know Maksim. Because the truth is: I’m stuck with him for the rest of my life. Our marriage is a peace deal. It’s not like we can ever get a divorce.
“Ok,” I finally whisper. “We can try.”
“Thank you.” He offers me a charming smile. “I can be nice. I promise.”
I want to believe more than anything but all I worry about is the other shoe dropping. Nothing good lasts in our world. No matter how hard you try.
