“As long as the attack would be on a small scale but with a huge impact, it’s a good one.”
I nodded.
“I’ll head back later in the afternoon from St. Petersburg. I would have suggested a good time at one of my favorite clubs in Moscow, but it’s not your scene, so enjoy your first married dayalone.”
“Right.”
**********
Again, I couldn’t sleep.
I gave up trying to catch sleep and walked out of my bedroom. As I wandered the hallway, I noticed rays of light from under the library door. I went over to the door and opened it.
My eyes immediately landed on Alina.
She stood by the window, barefoot, moonlight shining in her copper hair.
Without thinking, I entered the room and kept walking until I was right in her personal space.
She gazed up at me. But she didn’t step back.
Chapter Nine
Alina’s POV
I shouldn’t tremble in front of him.
I repeated the same thing in my head like a mantra with an urgency that was akin to desperation as Konstantin entered the library and started moving towards me. That didn’t mean my body listened.
I should have stepped back or left the library the moment I saw him approach. But the defiance his look always brought up in me skyrocketed at the thought of him catching on to my slip of tongue a few hours ago. That was a good explanation for my staying put even as he came closer. But if I were being honest with myself, it wasn’t the full truth.
I didn’t just remain in my spot because I wanted him to see that I wouldn’t flinch in his presence. I stayed there instead of moving away because my body wanted to. I couldn’t find the will to leave or even take a step away from him. I was furious at myself for allowing him have this effect on me. I hated it.
But what I hated more was that this wasn’t the first time. It had always been like this. I could count the number of times I’d met him on a single hand, and yet, there was no time I didn’t feel a fragment of something. Something that I couldn’t exactly describe but was somewhere between confusion and attraction. Even when he was just near me, I felt it.
I had always refused to acknowledge it with the hope that it would just fade away, like any other thing. I didn’t talk about it (not that Ruslan was the best person to talk to about hisboss’s boss), didn’t even think about it in a bid to keep it from becoming real.
But he showed up and, instead of stepping away, I stayed there, letting him invade my personal space.
This man was the one who killed Siroc.
Yet, as he came in, his eyes weren’t those of the monster that killed Siroc. The eyes looking into mine were stormy as usual, but also tired. Like he was warring with a monster that was much bigger than himself. The air of rough confidence that seemed to always surround him was notably absent.
The anger and hatred I felt towards him faded just a little.
When he eventually stopped moving and stood in front of me by the window, I prayed to the powers that be that he didn’t notice the trembling of my body. I scrambled for something to say, anything at all, but it didn’t work.
“You really loved him?” he asked, surprising me with both the coolness of his voice and the randomness of his question. “He was older than you. He was a criminal.”
“I didn’t know what love was back then. Not that I never told him I loved him. I did so many times. But then I said it like a girl to a man who was making her happy. Siroc was the only person in the world who cared about me. And you killed him.”
Something about his expression became even more weary, made me wish I hadn’t said it. I was practically annoyed with myself for going there.
But it’s the truth.
And then I was annoyed about the fact that I felt the tiniest bit of unease about it.
But the silent and steady gaze he gave me instead of a sharp remark softened me inside, and I went on.
